Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there are many 67+ year olds (parents of 30+ year old ACs) perusing DCUM.

I'm in my late 30s and my parents are in their 50s

So? Let's say you are 38. Were your parents 20 years old when you were born? Because very few people had kids at that young age. That was my parent's generation. I am 66, and we all had kids in our late 20s, early to late 30s. I had them under 30 and people thought I was young. So, yes, people would be in their 60s for this question.
My kids are late 30s.

Should I put an eyeroll in here, or what?

Ok, here..

What is your eyeroll for? I'm 54 and have a 34 year old ds and a 31 year old dd. Their dad and I have been married 35 years. They both are busy in their careers, as are we, but we see them a couple of times a week.

I am late 60s and have two kids in their 40s.

One lives about 1000 miles away, I see him three or four times per year, he comes to visit me and I go to visit him.

The other lives two hours away, I see her at least once a month.

Anonymous wrote:If the Adult Children don't have kids and they live near you, and if they don't live near you?

My 37-year-old daughter lives 15 minutes away, doesn't have kids, and comes over for dinner weekly. We also see her for family events & holidays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there are many 67+ year olds (parents of 30+ year old ACs) perusing DCUM.

Why do you think that? There are enough to have an entire AC Forum and Midlife. Plenty of action on all forums from this age group. Look around. And, also, why do you think people in their 60s wouldn't be here at all? Are you the type that thinks everyone's parents still can't figure out technology, shouldn't be on social media, never on FB, and certainly not friending you or your friends?

Who do you think AC Forum is for, you?

70 year olds aren’t in “mid life.”

Right! Midlife is 33-66. If you’re 66-99 you’re past midlife.

Hey, a buzzer just doesn't go off at 66. It's still "mid"
as per the trajectory and content of this forum subject matter.

If you think 33 is midlife, then maybe you all can stop calling things you do as adulting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there are many 67+ year olds (parents of 30+ year old ACs) perusing DCUM.

Why do you think that? There are enough to have an entire AC Forum and Midlife. Plenty of action on all forums from this age group. Look around. And, also, why do you think people in their 60s wouldn't be here at all? Are you the type that thinks everyone's parents still can't figure out technology, shouldn't be on social media, never on FB, and certainly not friending you or your friends?

Who do you think AC Forum is for, you?

The people posting on the midlife forum are ACs caring for their 70 yr old parents, not the 70 year olds themselves.

What? Do you read the forum at all? Where did you decide this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there are many 67+ year olds (parents of 30+ year old ACs) perusing DCUM.

Why do you think that? There are enough to have an entire AC Forum and Midlife. Plenty of action on all forums from this age group. Look around. And, also, why do you think people in their 60s wouldn't be here at all? Are you the type that thinks everyone's parents still can't figure out technology, shouldn't be on social media, never on FB, and certainly not friending you or your friends?

Who do you think AC Forum is for, you?

The people posting on the midlife forum are ACs caring for their 70 yr old parents, not the 70 year olds themselves.

Caring for their 70 year old parents? Why? Who needs caring at 70? I'm sure it happens, but certainly not the norm.


The forum is for those in mid life which frequently deals with those with elderly parents, ans elderly parents are elderly. I was in my late 50s when my 80 and 90 year old parents died, and my husband was in his mid sixties when his 92 year old parents died. We have many many friends who have parents in their 90s still.
The forum is not for you. It's for topics like the aforementioned, but also empty nest, friendships in midlife, retirement, real estate decisions, ageism in the workplace ( AND HERE), etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there are many 67+ year olds (parents of 30+ year old ACs) perusing DCUM.

I'm in my late 30s and my parents are in their 50s

So? Let's say you are 38. Were your parents 20 years old when you were born? Because very few people had kids at that young age. That was my parent's generation. I am 66, and we all had kids in our late 20s, early to late 30s. I had them under 30 and people thought I was young. So, yes, people would be in their 60s for this question.
My kids are late 30s.

Should I put an eyeroll in here, or what?

Ok, here..

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there are many 67+ year olds (parents of 30+ year old ACs) perusing DCUM.

I'm in my late 30s and my parents are in their 50s

Mid 40s with one kid. We see my parents once or twice a year (usually we each visit once), as they live on the other side of the country and it's a full day of travel to visit. We see ILs about 4x a year. They are closer but still a long drive (7ish hours, no easy way to fly or train to them) but they do not visit us and are getting older so we make an effort.

I will note here that measuring by number of visits is a bit misleading. As someone who lives far from my family and has done it both ways (lots of shorter visits versus fewer longer visits), there is real value in visiting less often but making sure those visits are maximally enjoyable and include the right kind of quality time. Frequent visits often me dealing with work schedules and trying to squeeze in serious conversations and relaxing meals and grandkid time in a short period of time. It's stressful. Combine those visits with holidays and it heightens everything.

There is real value in just doing a couple visits but making the longer (a week or more), and even better if you can do them at a vacation destination so people are really getting away and no one has to host. At least that's what I've found.

I have three kids and I see my parents (they are divorced and live about six hours away from me - in opposite directions) about six times a year. They come and see me and my family and we also go to them. We're not close. I only see them so they can have a relationship with my kids and out of obligation. I've come to accept that I don't enjoy spending time with them and I only talk to them on the phone or text them occasionally. My husband's parents are also divorced. They also live about six hours away, but we see them more frequently. They are more relaxed than my parents and I genuinely enjoy spending time with them. I used to feel guilty about this, but now I don't.

I am 66 and have a 30 and 31 year old sons. The 30 year old lives a 7 hour drive away. I see him about 4X a year depending what is going on with the family (weddings,etc). The 31 year old is local to me and I probably see 1X month. I talk to both regularly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there are many 67+ year olds (parents of 30+ year old ACs) perusing DCUM.

Why do you think that? There are enough to have an entire AC Forum and Midlife. Plenty of action on all forums from this age group. Look around. And, also, why do you think people in their 60s wouldn't be here at all? Are you the type that thinks everyone's parents still can't figure out technology, shouldn't be on social media, never on FB, and certainly not friending you or your friends?

Who do you think AC Forum is for, you?

The people posting on the midlife forum are ACs caring for their 70 yr old parents, not the 70 year olds themselves.

How in the world are you such a know-it-all? Not.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there are many 67+ year olds (parents of 30+ year old ACs) perusing DCUM.

Don’t be too sure of yourself.

I’m the adult child (age 38). We live 12 hrs drive or 2 hr $300 ish direct flight away. I have 2 young kids. My parents typically come to our house 2x a year (in fall and in spring) and help us pay to fly to visit their house 2x a year (in winter and in summer). We all stay about a week each time so about 4 weeks per year.

If needed for healthcare emergency, I make extra trips when needed.