OP, you might need to get a job when your younger ones get to public school. 160k is tight with 5 kids in this area.

I used to be a SAHM, but I am back to work. We are done saving for retirement. We have just 2 kids, but are planning to try for one more. We are the most frugal people we know, and we keep track of expenses. We need to make about 250k HHI for us to be comfortable. ( with vacations, eating out, sports for kids, etc)

Your budget on 160k will be too tight if he decides he does not want to go back. If you guys stay at this income, you are guaranteeing that he has to return to private.I am not sure what niche area of law this is and if there is much outside of big law and government.

Like another PP said, try not to eat into your savings beyond preschool.

We were in a similar situation a year ago. Here are some things that helped.

- I studied all of our expenses extensively (my husband might say obsessively) but it helped me feel less anxious. I would chart out what we absolutely had to pay (mortgage, average monthly groceries) , what we would really like to pay for but could get rid of in an emergency (like netflix, reduced cleaner to once a month but could get rid of completely, etc), and what we should break the habit of spending on right away (I.e. going out to eat so much).

- I did a lot of retirement scenario calculating. As someone said earlier in the thread, you will be just fine on current retirement because you have a lot and it will compound. Kids 529s look healthy too. Probably not enough to flat out pay for full private for all at the rate tuition currently inflates, but kids can take loans/go in state.

- We lived at the new, lower salary for many months before actually taking the plunge to a new job. We saved a lot during that time which we used to bulk up an extra emergency fund.

I do think that if this new job/life really sticks for your husband, you might want to consider some part time work when the kids are a little more independent. It need not be preschool teacher. Pulling in even $20k a year (if the work is flexible work) could be a nice boost to the family finances. But I don’t think it has to be right away.

You come off as someone who takes more than you give OP. If you are worried about money you can get a job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Why does your attorney husband hate his job?

Why is he miserable ?

This isn't really about money; it's about happiness. Tough to offer advice without knowing the cause of the problem.

If this was really about money, you wouldn't need outside advice or opinions--at least, you shouldn't.

Clearly you've never worked in big law, and it's doubtful you're an attorney. Butt out.

If you are a biglaw attorney, I think that we all now understand the problem. Thank you.

Oh shut up.

There are more than just biglaw attorneys on this board.

If OP does not want to answer PP's question, that's fine.

Stop being so salty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Why does your attorney husband hate his job?

Why is he miserable ?

This isn't really about money; it's about happiness. Tough to offer advice without knowing the cause of the problem.

If this was really about money, you wouldn't need outside advice or opinions--at least, you shouldn't.

Clearly you've never worked in big law, and it's doubtful you're an attorney. Butt out.

So, therefore, you must believe that OP and her million dollar plus a year earning husband are incapable of handling simple math & making a household budget ?

Did you read the post PP was responding to? It was someone asking why OPs husband hated his job. It's because big law sucks.

Anonymous wrote:You should be fine based on what you've said. You or your husband should be able to review your expenses over the last year or 6 months online pretty easily to ensure that is the case.
The one thing I'll say is your husband will probably not want to go back to big law (depending on the area of expertise, he probably can without much difficulty in a better legal market but the desire is unlikely to be there), so the two of you should think about this as a longer term move to a lower income group. Reviewing expenses is important even with great savings because one of you might look at an expense differently in 2 months creating some disagreement.

I'd encourage you to stay a little more involved in your family's overall financial planning too!

Agree with all of this. I would resist dipping into savings except for preschool until your youngest is in public school. Don’t let any other structural expenses get paid with savings, at all. Because if he can’t or won’t get back, you need to live like this is it, forever.

And I do say this as someone who left biglaw.

You should be fine based on what you've said. You or your husband should be able to review your expenses over the last year or 6 months online pretty easily to ensure that is the case.
The one thing I'll say is your husband will probably not want to go back to big law (depending on the area of expertise, he probably can without much difficulty in a better legal market but the desire is unlikely to be there), so the two of you should think about this as a longer term move to a lower income group. Reviewing expenses is important even with great savings because one of you might look at an expense differently in 2 months creating some disagreement.

I'd encourage you to stay a little more involved in your family's overall financial planning too!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Why does your attorney husband hate his job?

Why is he miserable ?

This isn't really about money; it's about happiness. Tough to offer advice without knowing the cause of the problem.

If this was really about money, you wouldn't need outside advice or opinions--at least, you shouldn't.

Clearly you've never worked in big law, and it's doubtful you're an attorney. Butt out.

If you are a biglaw attorney, I think that we all now understand the problem. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Why does your attorney husband hate his job?

Why is he miserable ?

This isn't really about money; it's about happiness. Tough to offer advice without knowing the cause of the problem.

If this was really about money, you wouldn't need outside advice or opinions--at least, you shouldn't.

Clearly you've never worked in big law, and it's doubtful you're an attorney. Butt out.

So, therefore, you must believe that OP and her million dollar plus a year earning husband are incapable of handling simple math & making a household budget ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Why does your attorney husband hate his job?

Why is he miserable ?

This isn't really about money; it's about happiness. Tough to offer advice without knowing the cause of the problem.

If this was really about money, you wouldn't need outside advice or opinions--at least, you shouldn't.

Clearly you've never worked in big law, and it's doubtful you're an attorney. Butt out.

Sure. Anything you say.

Anonymous wrote:OP: Why does your attorney husband hate his job?

Why is he miserable ?

This isn't really about money; it's about happiness. Tough to offer advice without knowing the cause of the problem.

If this was really about money, you wouldn't need outside advice or opinions--at least, you shouldn't.

Clearly you've never worked in big law, and it's doubtful you're an attorney. Butt out.

OP: Why does your attorney husband hate his job?

Why is he miserable ?

This isn't really about money; it's about happiness. Tough to offer advice without knowing the cause of the problem.

If this was really about money, you wouldn't need outside advice or opinions--at least, you shouldn't.

I think everything is hypothetical at this point. First, track your spending for 6 months and see how much can you realistically cut. Second, ask him to start interviewing, if he finds a job that he could really love then calculate if you can make it work on the new lower salary.

Also, read some mr money mustache for inspiration. You don't have to go extreme like he is, but he can help you learn about how to live below your income, the money compounding and how you don't really need as much for retirement as you think as long as you keep expenses reasonable.

With kids in public school this should be downright easy. When he has that less intense job you can lean on him more and work for some little luxuries if you want to, but truly, you can afford this as long as your spending isn’t out of hand.