Anonymous wrote:I really hate when I hear people say it made sense to stay home because their salary was less than daycare cost. The is a myopic view that overlooks the lifetime compounding effects of raises, retirement contributions, etc. and the impacts of time out of the labor market on long-term earnings and career trajectories. Not to mention for some the mental health benefits of having time away from kids and something else to focus on. If you exit the labor market because you want to stay home with your kids, that's fine. But be realistic about the reasons and the tradeoffs.

I think people say that, but they also *wanted* to stay home at some level. If they really wanted to stay in their job, they would make it work.

We pay about 50k which is a little under what I make after taxes. I took time off for a few years to be with the kids and am in a fairly entry level role now but enjoy the work

I stayed home for a long time, so yes, I lost out on some raises, some years contributed to my pension, and yes, my overall income long term is less, etc. But for me, no amount of money was worth losing out on those days, months, years with my little ones. And when I say that, it isn't a slam on anyone else who does it differently, it's just what was best for everyone in my family. I'm back at work now and my family has everything we need and most of what we want. But if we're talking strictly dollars and cents in the moment, a nanny for 10-11 hours a day would have been more than my teaching salary and day care would have been a few hundred less. In my case, it wouldn't have mattered if I made 500K. I wanted to be home with my kids.

Nearly $10K per child for 2 years each.

I really hate when I hear people say it made sense to stay home because their salary was less than daycare cost. The is a myopic view that overlooks the lifetime compounding effects of raises, retirement contributions, etc. and the impacts of time out of the labor market on long-term earnings and career trajectories. Not to mention for some the mental health benefits of having time away from kids and something else to focus on. If you exit the labor market because you want to stay home with your kids, that's fine. But be realistic about the reasons and the tradeoffs.

My DH and I arranged our work schedules during the ages of 0-2.5 to be able to only need part-time childcare for each of our children, which we did with a nanny share. Infant/toddler care is far more expensive and the kids are out sick so much that you need back up care if you don't have a nanny so we felt it was just easier for us (and our jobs were flexible) plus we each really enjoyed having time with our children as infants and toddlers. So we didn't lose money by working at all--and we both got lots of time as the "primary caregiver" which I think was really important for setting up balanced parenting responsibilities for dual working families.

Around 2.5-3 our kids each entered preschool and I think really benefitted from the social world and the cost was manageable. Because our flexible work times were already set up, we just continued with that so they went a shorter day (a little shorter than the average day they would then have in kindergarten).

Not everyone's jobs are so flexible though--we were obviously very lucky. But on remote days I would start my remote work at 4 AM just after my last "night feed" for an infant which I know would also not be appealing for non-morning people.

None. Since my first was born, my salary has gone up over 50%. I’ve accumulated retirement savings and earned SS credits and continued to advance in my career. Given that I’m looking at an early retirement due to medical reasons, it was 100% the best choice.

I could have stayed home or had my spouse stay home with a significant hit in savings or lifestyle. But both of us realized we just don’t enjoy the daily grind with toddlers. Instead, we banked a lot and outsourced a lot of the chores so we could focus on making sure our limited time with the kids is well spent, and now we have some flexibility if our kids need us more when we’re older.

I just turned down a job for 112k because I couldn't figure out how to make the childcare work with 4 in person days and a commute into DC (my spouse has inflexible hours and a lot of travel so no help there).

Anonymous wrote:From a guys point of view my wife and my brothers wife both quit when we had first kid so we could focus on career.

My two sisters stayed in workforce after having kids.

By year 10-15 my brother and I made double their combined salaries.

What do you do? Sort of a chicken and egg situation. A biglaw sixth year associates spouse can stay home because of the spouses current earnings and career trajectory, more than a teachers spouses could.

None. But I still think about leaving the workforce all the time to stay at home with them. But I definitely would have lost money staying home and stopped contributing to our 401k, social security and our overall lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:None. Full time preschool + aftercare was $12k. I made more than that.

+1

From a guys point of view my wife and my brothers wife both quit when we had first kid so we could focus on career.

My two sisters stayed in workforce after having kids.

By year 10-15 my brother and I made double their combined salaries.

Anonymous wrote:I am not losing money but making very little after childcare (nanny for 3 kids)

Also, I did stay home for 5 yrs and went back when my youngest was 1. It was just my preference to stay at home during that time. Now wfh 4 day/week

I am not losing money but making very little after childcare (nanny for 3 kids)

I have never believed that any part of my job or benefits or resume is more important than the time I spent with my infant and toddler children.