Op, why won’t you answer why you make the choice to go with them?

Incredibly rude!

Bizarre and rude. I wouldn’t let it impact my kids’ interactions, but I would invest nothing into the adult relationship at this point.

Even if it’s not personal, it’s so rude and clueless as to wonder if maybe it is. Who does that?!

I'm on the side of this was weird and rude.

I'd pull back on any get togethers that don't directly involve the kids and look for new friends.

I think it makes sense to do you own thing for a portion of the day and then meet up at least once a day for a get together. Otherwise why are you on vacation with them?

That's so incredibly rude that I can't even imagine the whole thing happening unless they needed you to come for the costs to work. Why would they invite you to something they didnt want you at?

Years ago we went to the beach with three other couples and two of the couples did the same thing, like, literally snuck off to dinners in the late afternoon without saying a peep.

We just dropped the couples and they never asked why so it self resolved

A complete snub. F*** 'em. Don't be mad or hurt. Just blank them, for good.

Strange. But you shouldn’t let it keep the kids from being friends. That would be an over reaction and it could hurt your kids socially.

Just act like everything is fine and be civil and friendly but don’t travel with them or do anything more extensive than play dates. I mean if they invite you to a party and you want to go, go, but don’t go out of your way to make plans with them.

Why is OP vacationing with mere acquaintances?

Anonymous wrote:I think it's defintely weird, like you weren't included as a full-fledged member of the club. You were half ignored by them, even though they had said you were all going "together."

So I would not do any more vacations with them.

But I also agree with DH that you're taking it too personally. And there is no reason to limit your kids' interactions with their friends.

+1 to all of this.

Both families were incredibly rude. They should have at least offered to have the nanny watch ALL the kids so ALL the adults could socialize and do things as adults. The "why didn't they do that" doesnt matter now, though. Don't take it personally (you really aren't close to either family) and don't let the kids become part of the drama; let the kids still interact. I'd just cool any socializing with either set of adults. It's gobsmacking that the family you thought you were getting to know better has not said a word of apology after the fact, though. Oblivious of them.

Maybe the 2 families are good friends and regarded you as more of an acquaintance? It’s weird and rude and not something I would pull but now you know where you stand.

Oh sorry, 16:30 here, thought you were put off by the nanny being there and the friends wanting an adults-focused trip, vs. them not sharing the nanny care with YOU too ... misread

You should have talked with them about your expectations for spending time together before agreeing to the trip. Then this would have come up.

Hahaha honestly this sounds like great fun. But yes they should have clearly communicated.

That is super weird. There must have been a miscommunication somewhere in the beginning. How did the planning go down? You mentioned that you’ve always wanted to go to Costa Rica and they said ‘oh, we are going to X resort with the Smiths over spring break, you should book there too!’ It sounds like they and the other family did a bunch of planning ahead of time and thought you would just be around and see them occasionally. But if you all shared a house and booked plane tickets together etc that was pretty weird to imply that you would be doing a bunch of stuff together as families when that wasn’t their intention.