Anonymous
04/11/2023 15:10
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
EUW. no.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 15:05
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How would you prefer she say it?
Sounds like she was damned if she did, or damned if she didn't, OP. If you don't like her (isn't she a stranger, not like she married into your family?) just don't talk to her. Done.
This. She’s preempting her comment so she won’t get attacked.
+1
How are people "supposed to" talk to you, OP??
Anonymous
04/11/2023 15:04
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How would you prefer she say it?
Sounds like she was damned if she did, or damned if she didn't, OP. If you don't like her (isn't she a stranger, not like she married into your family?) just don't talk to her. Done.
This. She’s preempting her comment so she won’t get attacked.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 14:50
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:How would you prefer she say it?
Sounds like she was damned if she did, or damned if she didn't, OP. If you don't like her (isn't she a stranger, not like she married into your family?) just don't talk to her. Done.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 14:39
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
I SAH but I hate feeling like I need to justify it. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Op, men don’t gripe about this stuff. Neither should we. Just own your choice and let other people live their life.
Op, men don’t gripe about this stuff. Neither should we. Just own your choice and let other people live their life.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 14:35
Subject: Re:When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
NO and I find it so creepy!
Anonymous
04/11/2023 14:32
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:omg no - people should NOT say this. it sounds SO SO smug.
What would be a better way to phrase it?
NP here
I can't really think of a situation where you need to say more than "I'm a stay at home mom." I've always been a SAHM and that's what I've done.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 14:15
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It implies that if you're working it's because you're a poor. That's not why I work. I just like it.
yup! this. like - you're implying the person is not privileged. which feels insulting.
No, that's just what you're reading into it. And I WOH.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 13:49
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:It implies that if you're working it's because you're a poor. That's not why I work. I just like it.
yup! this. like - you're implying the person is not privileged. which feels insulting.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 13:48
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
So, what was the context op? Apologetic because she's used to getting a lot of shit about it or bragging?
Most mommy war threads include a few posters who say it's a privilege others can even make that choice and that the sahms need to recognize that before anything else.
Most mommy war threads include a few posters who say it's a privilege others can even make that choice and that the sahms need to recognize that before anything else.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 13:47
Subject: Re:When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:Personally it sounds obnoxious to me - like every woman who has the financial means to do so should stay home. Sounds like it's inferring a negative judgment on women with high-earning spouses who choose to work outside the home even though they don't "need" the money. Just say you're a stay at home mom.
Agree and it sounds smug/judgmental to me. It sounds like she thinks women only work for money. You should have turned it back on her... " oh, you are the privileged one to spend days alone in your own office growing your career"...etc.
Personally, I hate the word privileged.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 13:45
Subject: Re:When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:It depends a lot. Context is everything and it really depends on why the are saying it.
Sometimes people complain about problems that they only have because they are quite privileged. Like complaining that you can't decide which of two custom sofas will look best in your brand new home in a good neighborhood. If someone was complaining about this and said, with some humor, "Look I get I'm super privileged to even have this silly problem!" it does actually make me feel warmer to them because it demonstrates some self awareness. Certainly better than them acting like this problem is comparable to the much more challenging choices less privileged people have to make all the time.
On the other hand, if someone is bragging about their great life, their successful kids, how wonderful everything is, and then says, "of course I know I'm lucky to have all this," it just sounds like an extension of the brag. I have so much and it's wonderful, and also I'm even aware of how wonderful it is and that many, many other people don't have nearly as much wonderful $hit in their lives! In that case, I would also think a little less of them. It's like appearing self-aware without actually being self-aware, because a truly self-aware person doesn't brag about how great their life is, and especially not to people who are not as fortunate.
Just admit that you don't like that person. She would have trouble deciding between two couches from IKEA or Craigslist too. You just don't like her. Or anyone.
Anonymous
04/11/2023 13:42
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How would you prefer she say it?
op - i guess i would prefer she didn't say it at all.
we have a beach house but i would never say 'we are privileged to have a beach house' - sounds just.. terrible
Is there any way in which she can communicate to you that she is primarily engaged in caring for her own children rather than working for pay that will not personally offend your sensibilities?
Have you never told anyone that you own a beach house?
Anonymous
04/11/2023 13:42
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:omg no - people should NOT say this. it sounds SO SO smug.
What would be a better way to phrase it?
“I am so blessed….” (In a southern accent obviously)
Anonymous
04/11/2023 13:41
Subject: When people say 'I am lucky/ privileged to be able to' - does it make you feel any better?
Anonymous wrote:omg no - people should NOT say this. it sounds SO SO smug.
What would be a better way to phrase it?