Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in this position when I was your DD's age. I wound up going to the state school and have mixed feelings about it. My parents did not have as much money saved as you do, but we did not qualify for financial aid. So attending the SLAC would have required loans and that is the primary reason I attended the state school. I am really, really glad I did not incur undergrad loans. However, I did feel overwhelmed and a bit lost at my huge state school, never really fit in with the culture, and didn't enjoy my college experience very much. Now, it's been decades and I don't often sit around thinking about how I didn't enjoy college that much -- it was a long time ago and I have a great life.

However, from a career standpoint, I do sometimes wish I had a stronger network from undergrad, or really any network from undergrad, because I can see how that is really beneficial. I also envy people with close friends from college -- I have a couple friends I've stayed in touch with but no one I'm close to because I was honestly never that close to people in college. In retrospect, I was almost certainly depressed and struggling, but I think it was hard for people to recognize that (and I wonder if the large school environment contributed to that as well).

I don't think it was the "wrong" choice to go to a state school. I did in fact wind up going to grad school (though would I have done that if I'd had a better undergrad experience and felt less adrift? hard to say). Again, no debt is huge. But you have the money to send your DD to Emory without incurring debt. There's no guarantee she'll go to grad school, and there are ways to do grad school affordably (do a fully funded program, don't do law or business school unless it's a top program and you are fully committed to working in a high-pay job until loans are paid off).

I think if I were in your position, given my own experience, I would let her decide and a major factor would be personality and whether that state flagship would be the right fit for this particular student. She's obviously worked hard in school to gain admission to a school like Emory, I think there is an argument that pushing her towards the state school to save money, especially if attending a huge school might not work for her, could be a mistake.

No tight friends? No alumni network? You are blaming the large school but it’s not the school....

PP didn't blame the school, she said it wasn't a good fit for her so she was depressed and struggling and so didn't reap these benefits from the school. She wonders if her situation would be different at a smaller school which it very well could have been. I think you should never "push" a kid to an option--you lay out the financial reality and what you are able/willing to pay and let them decide. There might be more options to consider besides these two and the kid is the one who has to own and live through the decision.

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

Anonymous wrote:Be happy that there is enough in the 529 that she gets to make the decision

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

It’s a tough calm but I would send her to Emory. She can always take out loans or get other funding if she attends grad school.

This is terrible advice. Do NOT take out loans if possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I had enough to pay for four years of 85k/year, I would leave it up to her after talking through the realities very plainly.

I agree with this IF you can pay for Emory with no loans. My daughter is grateful that I am paying for 4 years of in-state tuition, but at the same time will probably always be a little resentful that she was limited to state schools but I refused to take out parent loans.

Us too. I refuse to take out parent loans. I'm not sure why this is even on the table for a generation which has the highest housing costs and just paid off our own student loans. You have to have a very motivated child who is going for a career that can pay off those loans and part of your own mortgage one day, we don't have that child.

My child has the option of a state school where we don't have to take on that level of debt. I sat through a few financial aid seminars at college open houses where they talk about a family taking out private loans and I really shook my head. I can't imagine that being a popular option. I would rather put it on a credit card that I can include in the inevitable bankruptcy that would follow if I piled on 50k a year in debt for 3 years.

I realize that we aren't the typical DCUM level income here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in this position when I was your DD's age. I wound up going to the state school and have mixed feelings about it. My parents did not have as much money saved as you do, but we did not qualify for financial aid. So attending the SLAC would have required loans and that is the primary reason I attended the state school. I am really, really glad I did not incur undergrad loans. However, I did feel overwhelmed and a bit lost at my huge state school, never really fit in with the culture, and didn't enjoy my college experience very much. Now, it's been decades and I don't often sit around thinking about how I didn't enjoy college that much -- it was a long time ago and I have a great life.

However, from a career standpoint, I do sometimes wish I had a stronger network from undergrad, or really any network from undergrad, because I can see how that is really beneficial. I also envy people with close friends from college -- I have a couple friends I've stayed in touch with but no one I'm close to because I was honestly never that close to people in college. In retrospect, I was almost certainly depressed and struggling, but I think it was hard for people to recognize that (and I wonder if the large school environment contributed to that as well).

I don't think it was the "wrong" choice to go to a state school. I did in fact wind up going to grad school (though would I have done that if I'd had a better undergrad experience and felt less adrift? hard to say). Again, no debt is huge. But you have the money to send your DD to Emory without incurring debt. There's no guarantee she'll go to grad school, and there are ways to do grad school affordably (do a fully funded program, don't do law or business school unless it's a top program and you are fully committed to working in a high-pay job until loans are paid off).

I think if I were in your position, given my own experience, I would let her decide and a major factor would be personality and whether that state flagship would be the right fit for this particular student. She's obviously worked hard in school to gain admission to a school like Emory, I think there is an argument that pushing her towards the state school to save money, especially if attending a huge school might not work for her, could be a mistake.

No tight friends? No alumni network? You are blaming the large school but it’s not the school....

Anonymous wrote:I was in this position when I was your DD's age. I wound up going to the state school and have mixed feelings about it. My parents did not have as much money saved as you do, but we did not qualify for financial aid. So attending the SLAC would have required loans and that is the primary reason I attended the state school. I am really, really glad I did not incur undergrad loans. However, I did feel overwhelmed and a bit lost at my huge state school, never really fit in with the culture, and didn't enjoy my college experience very much. Now, it's been decades and I don't often sit around thinking about how I didn't enjoy college that much -- it was a long time ago and I have a great life.

However, from a career standpoint, I do sometimes wish I had a stronger network from undergrad, or really any network from undergrad, because I can see how that is really beneficial. I also envy people with close friends from college -- I have a couple friends I've stayed in touch with but no one I'm close to because I was honestly never that close to people in college. In retrospect, I was almost certainly depressed and struggling, but I think it was hard for people to recognize that (and I wonder if the large school environment contributed to that as well).

I don't think it was the "wrong" choice to go to a state school. I did in fact wind up going to grad school (though would I have done that if I'd had a better undergrad experience and felt less adrift? hard to say). Again, no debt is huge. But you have the money to send your DD to Emory without incurring debt. There's no guarantee she'll go to grad school, and there are ways to do grad school affordably (do a fully funded program, don't do law or business school unless it's a top program and you are fully committed to working in a high-pay job until loans are paid off).

I think if I were in your position, given my own experience, I would let her decide and a major factor would be personality and whether that state flagship would be the right fit for this particular student. She's obviously worked hard in school to gain admission to a school like Emory, I think there is an argument that pushing her towards the state school to save money, especially if attending a huge school might not work for her, could be a mistake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

It’s a tough calm but I would send her to Emory. She can always take out loans or get other funding if she attends grad school.

It's not necessarily terrible advice. I took out $20k in grad school loans and an $10K from my parents and paid them off in five years. I got a $25K salary bump in first job after grad school. It really depends on the program, the student's career goals/prospects, etc.

This is terrible advice. Do NOT take out loans if possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have chosen a larger state university for our son because the private LAC with the more impressive name is $80/k a year with only a 10k merit scholarship.
It's simply not worth the loans or financial anguish. We can afford the larger state university without him taking out loans. He got a larger merit scholarship there as well.

We phrased it that it's an accomplishment to be accepted but no one asks where you went to college by the time you are 30, but school loans follow you forever. [/quote]

100% correct regarding "financial anguish" and that "school loans follow you forever."

+1 Yes, this is certainly a good way to think about loans. Particularly if child is interested in the liberal arts and not STEM or business school, as mine is..