FWIW, when I started wearing a bra, it was partially because I was embarrassed that my nips. could be seen through my shirt. But it was also uncomfortable in gym when my shirts rubbed on my developing body. Wearing camisole/sports bra type things reduced the chafing feelings while also solving the self-consciousness issue.

I agree with everyone else who says that the big victory here is that she came to you. I didn't come to my mom for like a year because I was too embarrassed and she hadn't created a culture of me being able to go to her with things like this. I didn't tell her when I got my period and just used paper towels for like 2 months cycles before she found out and bought pads.

Agree also with suggestion for Target. The girls section has some nice twofer bralettes that my DD liked at that age.

Just get her the bra. Don’t make her the outlier among her friends.

Anonymous wrote:9 yo wants but has no need for a bra. Seems silly to me, but I guess going along with it will be good in the long run to keep lines of communication open for "girl stuff"? I usually don't buy her stuff just because she wants it.

Why is this so hard for moms? My mom laughed at me 30 years ago about this, because I didn’t “need” a bra. Just buy her a couple sports bras or cami bras and call it a day. Sheesh. You don’t need to crowd source this.

Anonymous wrote:Mine asked for the same and doesn't need it yet. I got it for her. Big deal.

As for needing, I agree with the point that that's a very blurry area and ideally, everything would totally be driven by tween/teen comfort and who cares what anyone else thinks. The reason I would want my daughter to wear one is there are a lot of creepy ass dudes in this world who will notice your daughter's breast buds. Wish it wasn't so.

No one cares or is noticing a young girl’s breast buds, except their mom. You are overthinking this. I would follow your daughter’s lead on when she wants to start wearing a bra. Mine didn’t start until 12. Prior to that she just didn’t care. No one ever said anything negative to her or gave her unwanted/creepy attention.

It's probably because she and her peers are becoming very aware of female nipples and she doesn't want them noticing hers through her shirts. Target has some really cute ones. Take her shopping and have fun with it.

Mine asked for the same and doesn't need it yet. I got it for her. Big deal.

As for needing, I agree with the point that that's a very blurry area and ideally, everything would totally be driven by tween/teen comfort and who cares what anyone else thinks. The reason I would want my daughter to wear one is there are a lot of creepy ass dudes in this world who will notice your daughter's breast buds. Wish it wasn't so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if they “need” it. If a bralette helps them feel more comfortable and confident (they do smooth things out and protect sensitive tissue), why wouldn’t you? IME it becomes clear quickly when they need to move to a “real bra.”

Agree and disagree. If she wants one and it will make her feel comfortable, get it. But there isn’t a point when any girl “needs” a bra if they don’t want to wear one. As long as they are comfortable and covered.

Wondering about this. Was talking with some other fifth grade moms at the school playground on that hot day last week and a couple of them said they were annoyed that their daughters "needed" to wear a bra now that they're wearing more spring and summer clothes but the girls didn't remember to or kept avoiding it. IMHO none of them appeared to "need" support as they ran around the playground, but I didn't feel comfortable speaking up and saying it.

I think that "need" should be about preference and comfort and not necessary just to hide buds. If they end up "needing" one its likely it'll be uncomfortable to run without one, right?

Get her one. She wants the nip coverage.

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if they “need” it. If a bralette helps them feel more comfortable and confident (they do smooth things out and protect sensitive tissue), why wouldn’t you? IME it becomes clear quickly when they need to move to a “real bra.”

Agree and disagree. If she wants one and it will make her feel comfortable, get it. But there isn’t a point when any girl “needs” a bra if they don’t want to wear one. As long as they are comfortable and covered.

My daughters noticed their nipples starting to protrude before I ever did. They were self-conscious about it. A bra was a simple solution, and then they're in a bra as things develop more.

Yes, you definitely want to keep communication open about this!

Anonymous wrote:Get her one. It isn’t ridiculous that she wants one. It’s rather normal.

+1

Get her one. It isn’t ridiculous that she wants one. It’s rather normal.

Who cares if they “need” it. If a bralette helps them feel more comfortable and confident (they do smooth things out and protect sensitive tissue), why wouldn’t you? IME it becomes clear quickly when they need to move to a “real bra.”

I would get her a bralette or cami, especially as she starts to wear summer t shirts. Some of them are very thin.

Yes, get her some. Other girls are wearing them and she feels exposed.