Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, huuuuge red flag. Someone gave up their kids? They are a pos. End of story.

Usually it’s not that they “gave them up,” but that their ex-partner basically stole custody.

Yawwwwwnnnnn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, huuuuge red flag. Someone gave up their kids? They are a pos. End of story.

Usually it’s not that they “gave them up,” but that their ex-partner basically stole custody.

Really? Tell me how you steal custody.

+1

No such thing, but lots of people use it as an excuse to abandon their kids. Parents who are behind on child support still have the legal right to see their kids if are not the non-custodial parent. In fact, the parent who denies the mother/father time with the child can be found in contempt. Parents have to take their children to visit the other parent in jail if so ordered by the court.

It's very very rare for a parent to be held in contempt for visitation. It's also very rare they'd go to jail. There is the official of child support, which is free, to get help with child support but for visitation Dad's often have to spend a fortune, which they may not have to get an attorney and fight it. Even if they fight it, more than likely a judge will just tell the other parent to allow it and they will refuse again.

I’m sure this is what your ex told you but it’s a complete fiction. You also don’t need a lawyer. All of this can be done pro se. And is done pro se every day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, huuuuge red flag. Someone gave up their kids? They are a pos. End of story.

Usually it’s not that they “gave them up,” but that their ex-partner basically stole custody.

Not possible. If they don’t have them they didn’t do the barest minimum to fight for them.

I know a woman who sees her kids only every other weekend because the judge thought the kids should continue to live with dad in the family home, and the woman wanted to live more than an house away to improve her job prospects. When they were married they had lived in a remote area. The woman is upset about it but she was not willing to give up 5-10 years of her career, having already given up many years for the benefit of her now ex-husband. I'm sure there are a few men in similar situations.

I also know a woman who persuaded a judge to let her take her kid to the opposite coast because she got a really good job. Tne dad opposed it but she won. The dad got to see his kid during long vacations and over the summer. She said there was nothing really wrong with the dad but she was the primary parent and she had a great career opportunity.

I doubt these are typical stories but they are both stories in whch the losing parent has a decent story to tell.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, huuuuge red flag. Someone gave up their kids? They are a pos. End of story.

Usually it’s not that they “gave them up,” but that their ex-partner basically stole custody.

Really? Tell me how you steal custody.

+1

No such thing, but lots of people use it as an excuse to abandon their kids. Parents who are behind on child support still have the legal right to see their kids if are not the non-custodial parent. In fact, the parent who denies the mother/father time with the child can be found in contempt. Parents have to take their children to visit the other parent in jail if so ordered by the court.

It's very very rare for a parent to be held in contempt for visitation. It's also very rare they'd go to jail. There is the official of child support, which is free, to get help with child support but for visitation Dad's often have to spend a fortune, which they may not have to get an attorney and fight it. Even if they fight it, more than likely a judge will just tell the other parent to allow it and they will refuse again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, huuuuge red flag. Someone gave up their kids? They are a pos. End of story.

Usually it’s not that they “gave them up,” but that their ex-partner basically stole custody.

Really? Tell me how you steal custody.

+1

No such thing, but lots of people use it as an excuse to abandon their kids. Parents who are behind on child support still have the legal right to see their kids if are not the non-custodial parent. In fact, the parent who denies the mother/father time with the child can be found in contempt. Parents have to take their children to visit the other parent in jail if so ordered by the court.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, huuuuge red flag. Someone gave up their kids? They are a pos. End of story.

Usually it’s not that they “gave them up,” but that their ex-partner basically stole custody.

Really? Tell me how you steal custody.

Yes, married him. His ex was a nut job who cheated on him and moved in with the AP. He very much wanted his kids but she's refuse the visits. His family and friends and the AP ex-wife all confirmed the situation and how bad she/AP were. He's a great dad and husband.

I know a case where the ex-wife remarried a very wealthy man and basically used legal firepower to start draining the ex-husband’s monetary resources. The ex-husband was basically left with two options: (1) spend down everything on lawyers and still eventually lose your kids or (2) keep what you got and see kids on holidays, but otherwise ex-wife gets full custody.

I know another case where the ex-wife’s father was crazy rich (9-figure net worth) and it was basically the same situation - we will outspend you until you have nothing and you’ll still lose the kids.

This happens way more often then you realize, particularly in UMC and wealthier circles.

Dealbreaker, Run

Anonymous wrote:No, huuuuge red flag. Someone gave up their kids? They are a pos. End of story.

Usually it’s not that they “gave them up,” but that their ex-partner basically stole custody.

No, huuuuge red flag. Someone gave up their kids? They are a pos. End of story.

Huge red flag. Absolutely no way I would ever date someone who gave up their kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone has full custody, I assume it’s because they are vindictive & froze their ex out.

it is VERY hard in this day and age to get full custody

If you don't have even partial custody, you probably did something bad or made a very unusual life decision. Even people who decide to move away for career or other reasons usually do some kind of sharing of parental responsibility if that's what they want.

Deal breaker