Anonymous wrote:What some of you are missing is that when someone says "But I worked hard for what I have" they are almost always saying it defensively because they have been criticized (or they have detected criticism where there might not have been any). Which is also why it's annoying. It's a sign of insecurity. If these people felt more secure in themselves, they wouldn't struggle to acknowledge that they had advantages in life that helped them get where they are. The only reason they are saying "but I worked so hard" is because they are actively trying to distract or paper over their advantages.

People who say this know they are privileged but would prefer you not know because they worry it will make you think less of them. But the best way to handle that situation is just to own it. "Yes, I got a huge leg up because of my family's money and connections, I realize that. I've always tried to make the most of those opportunities though, because I know not everyone gets them." That's grace and confidence. Trying to convince someone that your success is solely due to your work ethic when you were born to wealth and sent to the best schools and had high level connections into your field of choice should be embarrassing to you. Just own who you are and don't be defensive. It actually invites MORE criticism, not less.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an UMC family, private education, elite colleges, and yes, I worked extremely hard for what I have now.

Why are you bothered by it?

I can also tell you, from watching my peers grow up, regardless of background those who worked the hardest also got the most out of life. I can also tell, from my professional background, the amount of work people put into their career has a direct relationship with their successes.

Life is not and will never be fair. It's not fair some people seem to suffer more easily from addiction. It's not fair some families have terrible abuse problems. It's not fair to be born to limited circumstances without ingrained knowledge how to make the most out of your decisions. It's not fair to born with limited aptitude. But what does it have to do with other people's successes and accomplishments? Why should I be blamed for it, somehow, or be told to check my privilege? Such a thing is actually distinctly unfair.

The sooner you realize this and stop making judgments and blaming others and making peace with your own situation, the better off you will be. It is not really my problem other people are not successful nor more than it is a problem there are others much more financially successful than I am. Broadly speaking, most people end up with an outcome that does largely correspond with the actions of their decisions and their capabilties. No one is not a senior vice president at a major corporation because of institutional racism or structural dysfunctionalism in whatever. We just have a culture of grievance that has too many people thinking somehow they are oppressed and their failures are can be blamed on others.

Just don't lie about where your down payment came from, ok?

Who do you hang out with where people discuss where they got the downpayment for their home?!?!?!

I'm in my 50s and have never had that conversation with any of our friends. That would just be weird and annoying. Who cares?

This is a good point. Most people are not focused in that way about others. I've never felt frustration with someone else's finances or how they present them.
I wonder if op is expecting others to freely disclose their finances or of they're directly asking for the info

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an UMC family, private education, elite colleges, and yes, I worked extremely hard for what I have now.

Why are you bothered by it?

I can also tell you, from watching my peers grow up, regardless of background those who worked the hardest also got the most out of life. I can also tell, from my professional background, the amount of work people put into their career has a direct relationship with their successes.

Life is not and will never be fair. It's not fair some people seem to suffer more easily from addiction. It's not fair some families have terrible abuse problems. It's not fair to be born to limited circumstances without ingrained knowledge how to make the most out of your decisions. It's not fair to born with limited aptitude. But what does it have to do with other people's successes and accomplishments? Why should I be blamed for it, somehow, or be told to check my privilege? Such a thing is actually distinctly unfair.

The sooner you realize this and stop making judgments and blaming others and making peace with your own situation, the better off you will be. It is not really my problem other people are not successful nor more than it is a problem there are others much more financially successful than I am. Broadly speaking, most people end up with an outcome that does largely correspond with the actions of their decisions and their capabilties. No one is not a senior vice president at a major corporation because of institutional racism or structural dysfunctionalism in whatever. We just have a culture of grievance that has too many people thinking somehow they are oppressed and their failures are can be blamed on others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an UMC family, private education, elite colleges, and yes, I worked extremely hard for what I have now.

Why are you bothered by it?

I can also tell you, from watching my peers grow up, regardless of background those who worked the hardest also got the most out of life. I can also tell, from my professional background, the amount of work people put into their career has a direct relationship with their successes.

Life is not and will never be fair. It's not fair some people seem to suffer more easily from addiction. It's not fair some families have terrible abuse problems. It's not fair to be born to limited circumstances without ingrained knowledge how to make the most out of your decisions. It's not fair to born with limited aptitude. But what does it have to do with other people's successes and accomplishments? Why should I be blamed for it, somehow, or be told to check my privilege? Such a thing is actually distinctly unfair.

The sooner you realize this and stop making judgments and blaming others and making peace with your own situation, the better off you will be. It is not really my problem other people are not successful nor more than it is a problem there are others much more financially successful than I am. Broadly speaking, most people end up with an outcome that does largely correspond with the actions of their decisions and their capabilties. No one is not a senior vice president at a major corporation because of institutional racism or structural dysfunctionalism in whatever. We just have a culture of grievance that has too many people thinking somehow they are oppressed and their failures are can be blamed on others.

Just don't lie about where your down payment came from, ok?

Who do you hang out with where people discuss where they got the downpayment for their home?!?!?!

I'm in my 50s and have never had that conversation with any of our friends. That would just be weird and annoying. Who cares?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an UMC family, private education, elite colleges, and yes, I worked extremely hard for what I have now.

Why are you bothered by it?

I can also tell you, from watching my peers grow up, regardless of background those who worked the hardest also got the most out of life. I can also tell, from my professional background, the amount of work people put into their career has a direct relationship with their successes.

Life is not and will never be fair. It's not fair some people seem to suffer more easily from addiction. It's not fair some families have terrible abuse problems. It's not fair to be born to limited circumstances without ingrained knowledge how to make the most out of your decisions. It's not fair to born with limited aptitude. But what does it have to do with other people's successes and accomplishments? Why should I be blamed for it, somehow, or be told to check my privilege? Such a thing is actually distinctly unfair.

The sooner you realize this and stop making judgments and blaming others and making peace with your own situation, the better off you will be. It is not really my problem other people are not successful nor more than it is a problem there are others much more financially successful than I am. Broadly speaking, most people end up with an outcome that does largely correspond with the actions of their decisions and their capabilties. No one is not a senior vice president at a major corporation because of institutional racism or structural dysfunctionalism in whatever. We just have a culture of grievance that has too many people thinking somehow they are oppressed and their failures are can be blamed on others.

Just don't lie about where your down payment came from, ok?

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an UMC family, private education, elite colleges, and yes, I worked extremely hard for what I have now.

Why are you bothered by it?

I can also tell you, from watching my peers grow up, regardless of background those who worked the hardest also got the most out of life. I can also tell, from my professional background, the amount of work people put into their career has a direct relationship with their successes.

Life is not and will never be fair. It's not fair some people seem to suffer more easily from addiction. It's not fair some families have terrible abuse problems. It's not fair to be born to limited circumstances without ingrained knowledge how to make the most out of your decisions. It's not fair to born with limited aptitude. But what does it have to do with other people's successes and accomplishments? Why should I be blamed for it, somehow, or be told to check my privilege? Such a thing is actually distinctly unfair.

The sooner you realize this and stop making judgments and blaming others and making peace with your own situation, the better off you will be. It is not really my problem other people are not successful nor more than it is a problem there are others much more financially successful than I am. Broadly speaking, most people end up with an outcome that does largely correspond with the actions of their decisions and their capabilties. No one is not a senior vice president at a major corporation because of institutional racism or structural dysfunctionalism in whatever. We just have a culture of grievance that has too many people thinking somehow they are oppressed and their failures are can be blamed on others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an UMC family, private education, elite colleges, and yes, I worked extremely hard for what I have now.

[cut out random crap]

The sooner you realize this and stop making judgments and blaming others and making peace with your own situation, the better off you will be. It is not really my problem other people are not successful nor more than it is a problem there are others much more financially successful than I am. Broadly speaking, most people end up with an outcome that does largely correspond with the actions of their decisions and their capabilties. No one is not a senior vice president at a major corporation because of institutional racism or structural dysfunctionalism in whatever. We just have a culture of grievance that has too many people thinking somehow they are oppressed and their failures are can be blamed on others.

Really? Really? I am not even a URM but I know this is bull

Anonymous wrote:I wish people were just transparent about how they come by their good fortune. No, you did not buy a mansion on a nonprofit salary due to hard work. Just own it!!

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an UMC family, private education, elite colleges, and yes, I worked extremely hard for what I have now.

[cut out random crap]

The sooner you realize this and stop making judgments and blaming others and making peace with your own situation, the better off you will be. It is not really my problem other people are not successful nor more than it is a problem there are others much more financially successful than I am. Broadly speaking, most people end up with an outcome that does largely correspond with the actions of their decisions and their capabilties. No one is not a senior vice president at a major corporation because of institutional racism or structural dysfunctionalism in whatever. We just have a culture of grievance that has too many people thinking somehow they are oppressed and their failures are can be blamed on others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of Brett Kavanaugh: I worked my @ass off!

Um, by all accounts, he actually was hard-working and talented – he didn’t just land on the United States Supreme Court by accident. Same could be said for Trump – sure he started on third base, but by any measure was nonetheless very accomplished (galvanizing half the country to become POTUS, hello??).

Born on third and working hard are not mutually exclusive.

The point is don't lie. If you got help say so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of Brett Kavanaugh: I worked my @ass off!

Um, by all accounts, he actually was hard-working and talented – he didn’t just land on the United States Supreme Court by accident. Same could be said for Trump – sure he started on third base, but by any measure was nonetheless very accomplished (galvanizing half the country to become POTUS, hello??).

Born on third and working hard are not mutually exclusive.

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of Brett Kavanaugh: I worked my @ass off!

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an UMC family, private education, elite colleges, and yes, I worked extremely hard for what I have now.

Why are you bothered by it?

I can also tell you, from watching my peers grow up, regardless of background those who worked the hardest also got the most out of life. I can also tell, from my professional background, the amount of work people put into their career has a direct relationship with their successes.

Life is not and will never be fair. It's not fair some people seem to suffer more easily from addiction. It's not fair some families have terrible abuse problems. It's not fair to be born to limited circumstances without ingrained knowledge how to make the most out of your decisions. It's not fair to born with limited aptitude. But what does it have to do with other people's successes and accomplishments? Why should I be blamed for it, somehow, or be told to check my privilege? Such a thing is actually distinctly unfair.

The sooner you realize this and stop making judgments and blaming others and making peace with your own situation, the better off you will be. It is not really my problem other people are not successful nor more than it is a problem there are others much more financially successful than I am. Broadly speaking, most people end up with an outcome that does largely correspond with the actions of their decisions and their capabilties. No one is not a senior vice president at a major corporation because of institutional racism or structural dysfunctionalism in whatever. We just have a culture of grievance that has too many people thinking somehow they are oppressed and their failures are can be blamed on others.