Anonymous wrote:Girl, if you were my friend I would be over there in a heartbeat with a laundry basket, gallon of ice cream, and five boxes of tissues. Please reach out to your inner circle of friends.

When I was your DD's age I was severely depressed. Never outright attempted, but I spent a couple months regularly doing things I knew could be fatal if my luck ran out...

Now as a parent, my blood turns to ice just thinking about what that would have done to my family. But because my parents ultimately got me help when I needed it, I was able to grow up and in turn help my child when they first showed inklings of needing support themselves.

You are a good mom. I don't know you at all, but please know this interwebs stranger is pulling for you and your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:For me the previous 'stay busy' advice that someone posted wouldn't have been helpful. I'm not judging that advice just saying it's good for some folks and not others.

I needed permission to wallow in sadness for a bit, before getting up and getting things done. It helped me process, to acknowledge the sadness, the dread, the fear of the future.

After that, I'd file for FMLA from work. You'll need time off to deal with appointments, and it's easiest to get your child's doctors to sign off while they're hospitalized.

Anonymous wrote:Sending love - have BTDT and for our family for our child this represented a bit of a turning point where the problem was clearly serious enough to mobilize action and support and buy in from child in engaging deeply with therapy. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

One thing we learned - after a short-term psychiatric stay - it was just to get stabilized - I didn’t quite understand that there wasn’t a better “fix” upon discharge. Very naive I know.

I do want to also share that we’ve had a good outcome and that years and effort in therapy have yielded a really well adjusted adult who knows when they need to lean in and out of therapy and supports. I also want to share that we noticed an annual pattern- February each year was a bad month with the worst challenges - especially during HS there tended to be a major mental health event in February. I am not sure if it is seasonally related, but the pattern was strong.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any idea yet of when the discharge will be and what the plan is? You may be in a situation when she is discharged where you need to keep a very close eye on her for a while. So if there's stuff you need to do out of the house, it's good to get it out of the way while she's still in patient. I actually think a list would be a great idea. I would do laundry, which I like to do while I'm watching TV and vegging anyway. I might bake and put stuff in the freezer. I would do a grocery run and buy food, including her favorites, for the freezer or otherwise. Call a friend and unload if that will help. I would also try to get as much sleep now as you can.
Will they give you visiting soon? I would try to figure out if there's anything she will want (consistent with the rules about what she can have) -- comfy socks, comfy sweats, etc. Books are good, although it's so challenging now to find books that are not depressing. Even books that are too "young" for her might be good especially if she's having trouble focusing -- an old favorite from when she was younger might be great. They have a lot of downtime, and often the TV/book selection there is not so great and the boredom can be really challenging.
Sending strength, prayers, and good wishes your way--thinks can and do get better.