Anonymous
03/27/2023 11:47
Subject: Re:Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
Anonymous wrote:I have three kids, ages 5, 7, and 9, and have not found it gets easier as they get older - it’s actually been harder. It’s no longer about childcare, but about who is influencing my kids.
DH has a big job, I have a medium job - easy hours (only 30 per week) - but I am responsible for a good portfolio.
We have money to outsource, but I am debating quitting - I’m on in the morning with the kids, on all day at work, and then on in the afternoons/evening when the kids go to bed. And still being the primary parent to handle doctors appointments, sick days, etc. A full time nanny doesn’t make sense becasue all the kids are in school.
I don’t quit becasue I like my job and professional success, so I absolutely hear you on that, OP. But given the age of my kids, I know I can’t ever take another big job, and so I’m sort of stuck at this mid-level — as I said I like my job but don’t see myself working at the same place for another 20 years. But when I leave, it will probably be to SAH.
I think for professionally ambitious women, it’s just a challenge when your partner has a big job, no matter what age the kids.
At your kids’ ages it would make so much sense to hire a nanny/household manager for a couple years to get over the hump, rather than quitting. Unless you think it will be easy for you to re-enter later. But you are close to the point where it really will be easier and you may be glad to have your job.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 11:42
Subject: Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
I agree with the PP who said try it for a year. If you decide it’s not worth it, you’re in the enviable position that you won’t be stuck. I don’t see that you really have anything to lose by giving it a try.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 11:26
Subject: Re:Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
Anonymous wrote:I have three kids, ages 5, 7, and 9, and have not found it gets easier as they get older - it’s actually been harder. It’s no longer about childcare, but about who is influencing my kids.
DH has a big job, I have a medium job - easy hours (only 30 per week) - but I am responsible for a good portfolio.
We have money to outsource, but I am debating quitting - I’m on in the morning with the kids, on all day at work, and then on in the afternoons/evening when the kids go to bed. And still being the primary parent to handle doctors appointments, sick days, etc. A full time nanny doesn’t make sense becasue all the kids are in school.
I don’t quit becasue I like my job and professional success, so I absolutely hear you on that, OP. But given the age of my kids, I know I can’t ever take another big job, and so I’m sort of stuck at this mid-level — as I said I like my job but don’t see myself working at the same place for another 20 years. But when I leave, it will probably be to SAH.
I think for professionally ambitious women, it’s just a challenge when your partner has a big job, no matter what age the kids.
All of this feels really true to me. DH’s job sorta pushed me out in the first place. And that isn’t changing. To his credit he recognizes this and definitely is not pushing me to work.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 11:24
Subject: Re:Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Personally I’d take up some hobbies and travel more. But the older I get the less impressed I am by work.
I have spent the past year doing these things (insane amount of travel really) and curtailing travel is definitely a concern.
Do you bring all 3 kids with you on trips? That sounds really difficult and unpleasant, but good for you if you can do it and enjoy it!
Mostly! We went on one resort trip with just the baby and I went on one international trip with just my eldest but otherwise it’s everyone!
Anonymous
03/27/2023 11:21
Subject: Re:Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
I have three kids, ages 5, 7, and 9, and have not found it gets easier as they get older - it’s actually been harder. It’s no longer about childcare, but about who is influencing my kids.
DH has a big job, I have a medium job - easy hours (only 30 per week) - but I am responsible for a good portfolio.
We have money to outsource, but I am debating quitting - I’m on in the morning with the kids, on all day at work, and then on in the afternoons/evening when the kids go to bed. And still being the primary parent to handle doctors appointments, sick days, etc. A full time nanny doesn’t make sense becasue all the kids are in school.
I don’t quit becasue I like my job and professional success, so I absolutely hear you on that, OP. But given the age of my kids, I know I can’t ever take another big job, and so I’m sort of stuck at this mid-level — as I said I like my job but don’t see myself working at the same place for another 20 years. But when I leave, it will probably be to SAH.
I think for professionally ambitious women, it’s just a challenge when your partner has a big job, no matter what age the kids.
DH has a big job, I have a medium job - easy hours (only 30 per week) - but I am responsible for a good portfolio.
We have money to outsource, but I am debating quitting - I’m on in the morning with the kids, on all day at work, and then on in the afternoons/evening when the kids go to bed. And still being the primary parent to handle doctors appointments, sick days, etc. A full time nanny doesn’t make sense becasue all the kids are in school.
I don’t quit becasue I like my job and professional success, so I absolutely hear you on that, OP. But given the age of my kids, I know I can’t ever take another big job, and so I’m sort of stuck at this mid-level — as I said I like my job but don’t see myself working at the same place for another 20 years. But when I leave, it will probably be to SAH.
I think for professionally ambitious women, it’s just a challenge when your partner has a big job, no matter what age the kids.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 10:29
Subject: Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
I didn't hear any cons in your OP. You should go for it, it sounds like a great opportunity that you weren't even looking for.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 10:27
Subject: Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It doesn't have to be full time. You have the flexibility to be part time. Best of both worlds.
Hmm, no, it’s definitely a full time job.
Then no. I wouldn't do it. Unless there's a lot of flexibility with when the hours can be scheduled.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 10:21
Subject: Re:Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Personally I’d take up some hobbies and travel more. But the older I get the less impressed I am by work.
I have spent the past year doing these things (insane amount of travel really) and curtailing travel is definitely a concern.
Do you bring all 3 kids with you on trips? That sounds really difficult and unpleasant, but good for you if you can do it and enjoy it!
Anonymous
03/27/2023 09:44
Subject: Re:Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Personally I’d take up some hobbies and travel more. But the older I get the less impressed I am by work.
OP has little kids. She's not exactly going to be able to "travel more". I can't wait to travel when my kids are in college.
OP here and actually we have done a ton more travel with me not working. Before the kids’ breaks were a scramble to get coverage/camps. Now every opportunity for a trip has been taken. I especially credit my having the bandwidth to plan trips. That said travel is of course just another form of consumerism and I’m sorta over it.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 08:59
Subject: Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
What I think you miss is not necessarily working but not having the “big job” and professional wins. Taking a 9-5 job with half of what you were making before will not necessarily make you happy. It’s understandable to take a step back with Covid and little kids etc. I would look for a job with flexibility that would put you back on track for the professional growth that you may be missing.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 07:55
Subject: Re:Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
Anonymous wrote:Personally I’d take up some hobbies and travel more. But the older I get the less impressed I am by work.
OP has little kids. She's not exactly going to be able to "travel more". I can't wait to travel when my kids are in college.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 07:54
Subject: Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
yes, take it. If it's 9 to 5, you can continue to outsource, and you will have more time for yourself. Your kids will eventually get older, and not need you as much, and spend most of their time out of the home at friends, activities.
My kids are now teens, but when they were prek/early ES, I did sah for 18 months. My brain was turning into mush. I'm not cut out to not be working at that age. And yea, my DH was getting promoted and raises, and I was getting a bit jealous. I used to be a high performer, getting the big raises and "wins".
My current job is more 9 to 5, and it's manageable.
My kids are now teens, but when they were prek/early ES, I did sah for 18 months. My brain was turning into mush. I'm not cut out to not be working at that age. And yea, my DH was getting promoted and raises, and I was getting a bit jealous. I used to be a high performer, getting the big raises and "wins".
My current job is more 9 to 5, and it's manageable.
Anonymous
03/27/2023 07:44
Subject: Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
If the youngest will be going to school for first time be prepared for a lot of sick days. Will this opportunity have flexibility?
Anonymous
03/26/2023 23:56
Subject: Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
You can always use extra money. Don’t rely on one source of income, especially these days with all of the economic uncertainty. Take it.
Anonymous
03/26/2023 23:05
Subject: Re:Am I crazy to consider going back to work?
Anonymous wrote:Personally I’d take up some hobbies and travel more. But the older I get the less impressed I am by work.
I have spent the past year doing these things (insane amount of travel really) and curtailing travel is definitely a concern.