We use a home health care agency and yes, they absolutely will drive our elderly relative to doctors appointments or any other errand that needs to be done. I think this is pretty standard

My relative has had a good experience with a company called Visiting Angels, they provide companion care, cooking and driving to appointments. They can use a provided car or their own but then there is a mileage fee. My relative was not in AL but it has filled a lot of gaps for her and they provide a weekly report to family. I would see if there is one in his area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went through several awful caretakers for my grandparents (including one who stole all my grandmother’s jewelry and silver and another who gave her laxatives so the night nurse would have troubles) before finding someone great- and this was from a “reputable” placement company. Even if you find someone great, they will need time off that someone will have to cover.

It sounds like your brother has a lot going on. Does he really have the capacity to manage all of this?

What happened with the theft???

Not the person you are asking, but it's really hard to prove and sometimes the patient with dementia gives it away as a gift. We were not willing to have cameras places where grandma dressed for obvious reasons. You should make sure any valuable are already given away or stored somewhere safe.You don't want to be in the position of accusing someone of taking things.

Anonymous wrote:We went through several awful caretakers for my grandparents (including one who stole all my grandmother’s jewelry and silver and another who gave her laxatives so the night nurse would have troubles) before finding someone great- and this was from a “reputable” placement company. Even if you find someone great, they will need time off that someone will have to cover.

It sounds like your brother has a lot going on. Does he really have the capacity to manage all of this?

What happened with the theft???

Your brother is nuts and this will be a nightmare.

Anonymous wrote:The safest is probably assisted living/nursing facility
but with a private duty CNA you hire to check in on days when you can’t.

This. You could have them come in 4 hours a day and they can make sure they are doing okay. Do some bathing/hygiene stuff and tidy up the room. Do laundry, if they have the facilities.

Yes, it is within the scope of in home caregiver services to transport clients to medical appointments and accompany them as requested - if the client has need of a patient advocate or aide in the room and a family member cannot attend, sometimes the caregiver will be that person.

However, there is no perfectly reliable agency because this industry is exploding with the aging population and staffing shortages are rampant. Unfortunately in my experience of now more than 7 years working as an in home or supplemental aide/caregiver to clients aging in place or in AL, families must always plan for all contingencies including that the caregiver from the agency might be a no show and the agency might not be able to find a backup on short notice. The advantage of assisted living over aging in place alone is that in AL there will always be a skeleton staff on even if there are callouts so the patients will get some interaction even if it is suboptimal some days. In place at home if the caregiver doesn’t show and the client is not safe to be left alone - because of wandering or kitchen appliances etc. - the family must step up on the loved on is left in danger. It’s trickier to navigate and the only folks I’ve seen handle it well are retired or were able to take long term FMLA to always be the backup to the hired caregivers. This is why caregiving takes such a toll.

Assisted Living was a good experience for my parents. I too spent overnights there when I was there from out of town, in the extra bedroom. The ALS services were not all that the brochure said they would be ... but I would live there myself if I needed to.

My dad’s caregivers in CA drive him to appointments and cook, clean, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With sincerity, a reputable company has figured this out, and to scale. Assisted living facilities.

This is one of the biggest lies out there about aging in US. ASL are poorly regulated and must are for-profit business. You better do your research before you send a loved one there. The most common problems are they are understaffed and many of the staff are inexperienced.

I actually slept in my father’s assisted living facility unit to maximize visit time and minimize hotel and Uber bills. It was fine for most of the people there. The people on the staff were kind and skilled. There’s no way I could have done what they were doing for him on my own, even if I had no job.

Anonymous wrote:If Brother wants to upset the status quo, this burden is on him.

This. Do not enable him at all. Make sure he knows your boundaries. It is all on him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With sincerity, a reputable company has figured this out, and to scale. Assisted living facilities.

This is one of the biggest lies out there about aging in US. ASL are poorly regulated and must are for-profit business. You better do your research before you send a loved one there. The most common problems are they are understaffed and many of the staff are inexperienced.

Our experience is there arfe nice ones and even understaffed is better than the aging in place nightmare.

If Brother wants to upset the status quo, this burden is on him.

The safest is probably assisted living/nursing facility
but with a private duty CNA you hire to check in on days when you can’t.