Anonymous wrote:I think 90% of my friends needed fertility treatments! It has such a high success rate. Just get that appointment and get going - you could be holding your baby an year from now! The success rate on IvF esp since you can get pregnant is so high!!

Please stop communicating with people dealing with infertility

It is unfair OP. One natural ectopic, doing IVF due to infertility. 37 and also envisioned having first child by 27. However did not meet my husband until 30 and married at 32 which was "too soon" for him to start trying.

Cannot wait for this chapter to be closed.

For those jumping to adoption, no, no one who is doing fertility treatments has ever heard or considered it. We are all dumb as rocks. Most typical response I am over.

When we were looking at fertility treatments we also looked into adoption. IVF is easier, cheaper and more likely to end with a baby in your household. We looked at adopting from my home country but there are issues with child trafficking there and I did not want to contribute to the serious ethical problems caused by the international adoption industry.

OP, if you were able to conceive naturally, then your odds of IVF success are high.

I think 90% of my friends needed fertility treatments! It has such a high success rate. Just get that appointment and get going - you could be holding your baby an year from now! The success rate on IvF esp since you can get pregnant is so high!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an out of control population growth and also kids in need of adoption. It is also okay to be childless because of the freedom that provides!

This comment is gross and totally inappropriate.

There aren't that many kids that are adoptable. It took us a small fortune and 6 years to adopt. OP's heartache is real. Why don't you adopt?

Adding to say (as a person who had an ectopic and finally had a baby through IVF), I agree with that PP who noted that the fact that your egg and sperm make embryos is actually a good sign. In IVF, that’s half the battle (or maybe more than half the battle). Also, I’ve done a lot of IVF, and it’s not a bundle of fun, but physically, for me at least, it’s not that bad. The emotional aspect is harder, but actually doing IVF made me feel more in control than the endless months of TTC. Call an RE - I’d probably start with Shady Grove or CCRM if you are in the DMV - and take it one day at a time. I know it doesn’t feel this way, but in the IVF world, you are relatively young and I bet your chances of success are really good. Best of luck to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really sorry. When I had lots of losses a friend who had also been though the fertility journey told me “you will get the baby you are meant to have”. She was so right. I hope that you get your rainbow baby soon. Fwiw, IVF wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. My anxiety about it was much worse.

What happens if you never have a kid? Are you just not meant to be a parent?

There are lots of other ways to become a parent.

+1
NP
It wouldn't hurt to go to an adoption information meeting

OP, good luck with IVF.

And, don't listen to all the people on here pushing adoption unless they have already adopted. In Maryland, it's not even that easy to adopt from foster care, as the preferred result is family reunification. It is easier to adopt and foster older children.

Sending you hugs OP; it's hard when it seems like everyone else can get pregnant easily.

This thread is crazy!

First of all, OP hasn’t even tried IVF once yet, she clearly has good eggs and sperm to work with, and there is zero reason to think IVF won’t work! Talking about a child free life or adopting or anything else is just way way silly at this point.

OP, IVF truly is not that bad! You’ll do it once or twice, perhaps even a third time, and you’ll have your baby or babies!

Talk to people who have done IVF for years and years without success and then you’ll know what truly unfair looks and feels like. Perspective!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really sorry. When I had lots of losses a friend who had also been though the fertility journey told me “you will get the baby you are meant to have”. She was so right. I hope that you get your rainbow baby soon. Fwiw, IVF wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. My anxiety about it was much worse.

What happens if you never have a kid? Are you just not meant to be a parent?

There are lots of other ways to become a parent.

+1
NP
It wouldn't hurt to go to an adoption information meeting

Anonymous wrote:Life isn’t fair for a lot of people OP but you are not one of them. I get that you think life sucks right now not when you look at true unfairness around the world your life is not it. Yesterday someone on our buy nothing group posted that she knows of a teen in foster care who’s had a rough life is in need of a prom dress. She wants a certain color and size, did anyone have one. This 17yo in foster care should get to enjoy prom big she can’t because she can’t afford a dress. Her life is unfair. She is a child with adult struggles. Maybe you’re mean to have a healthy bio child , maybe not, but take fairness out if it.

Having been both a kid growing up on welfare who missed out on many events like prom because of the cost and an adult who struggled with infertility/miscarriages, the latter was by far the more painful/unfair feeling to me. But either way it’s not a competition and you suck pp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really sorry. When I had lots of losses a friend who had also been though the fertility journey told me “you will get the baby you are meant to have”. She was so right. I hope that you get your rainbow baby soon. Fwiw, IVF wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. My anxiety about it was much worse.

What happens if you never have a kid? Are you just not meant to be a parent?

There are lots of other ways to become a parent.

Anonymous wrote:Life isn’t fair for a lot of people OP but you are not one of them. I get that you think life sucks right now not when you look at true unfairness around the world your life is not it. Yesterday someone on our buy nothing group posted that she knows of a teen in foster care who’s had a rough life is in need of a prom dress. She wants a certain color and size, did anyone have one. This 17yo in foster care should get to enjoy prom big she can’t because she can’t afford a dress. Her life is unfair. She is a child with adult struggles. Maybe you’re mean to have a healthy bio child , maybe not, but take fairness out if it.

Who died and appointed you the judge of unfairness?

Anonymous wrote:We have an out of control population growth and also kids in need of adoption. It is also okay to be childless because of the freedom that provides!

How many have you adopted?

Anonymous wrote:Life isn’t fair for a lot of people OP but you are not one of them. I get that you think life sucks right now not when you look at true unfairness around the world your life is not it. Yesterday someone on our buy nothing group posted that she knows of a teen in foster care who’s had a rough life is in need of a prom dress. She wants a certain color and size, did anyone have one. This 17yo in foster care should get to enjoy prom big she can’t because she can’t afford a dress. Her life is unfair. She is a child with adult struggles. Maybe you’re mean to have a healthy bio child , maybe not, but take fairness out if it.

Whoever wrote this is rude AF and if you’re trying to help, you’re not. Her feelings are valid and infertility is extremely unfair. Can’t believe someone went out of their way to kick someone when they are down.

OP- it’s so incredibly painful and isolating. I had many many dark days as well. I got to the point where I was withdrawing from friends who had kids, skipped baby showers, but what helped was finding a friend who was going through the same process as me so we could cry together. Took my husband and I 5 long years but now I’m on the other side and will never forget what it took to get here. I am 100% a better parent because of that experience and will never take being a mother for granted. Stay strong and don’t give up, even though it’s so understandable that you might want to.