Anonymous wrote:My youngest is scared of non-family members. I have older kids who are outgoing so have never dealt with this and am worried about him. He's on track for all milestones and the pediatrician said it's just stranger danger and not to compare children because they all have different traits—but he is extremely shy, to the point that people comment on it, and if there is anything I can do to help I want to do it. We take him to the playground and to events with people frequently. He'll play but just avoid the other people there and gets upset if a stranger tries to interact with him. Advice?

OP, you have to engage with other people. It's you.
Your child is copying, learning from you. Teach him that is fine and safe to talk to others. You have to show him.
It's not just saying use your words. Show him how to.

Tell him to bring toys to the park abd share it with kids from the park. Bring ice cream for every kid at the park, socialize with the other kids. Make group situations where your child sees is good to share things with others and is a good feeling. It's nice to meet other and get to know others.

I used to be a nanny and I would bring car baby toys to the park to share and my twins saw thar and they model that. They pass the cars, also takes the cars from others lol and watches how other kids are playing with the toys I bring and it was fun. They were little for the slide and this helped a lot for infants, walkers and all kids really

Free play is important for infants and twos and threes. Socialization is very important than academics

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take your kid to a small Family Child Care home or a nanny who knows of playmates.

The child needs socialization! It's like a kid who was raised by wolves. It affects them. But your kids is not late. Theur brain is amazing and can learn and adjust. They can learn 3 languages in age as young like 2 and 3 years old

Socialization with strangers is over-hyped at this age. OP's toddler has older siblings in the home who provide the most crucial socialization. As long as they play well at home and spend quality time with one another, everything else is just icing. Little kids who have siblings spend much more time playing with their own siblings than with friends or strangers.

You have to let your child make friends and play, socialize with others and not just his own older siblings. That's why is a shy kid. Just stays with the family.

The poor boy never had opportunities to grow, learn, explore social situations with other children/strangers. Kids needs to learn that social skill.

Socializing with other children (NOT FAMILY/SIBLINGS) are very IMPORTANT to develop the cognitive, social skills into their brains. Kids needs challenges to surpass them and keep exploring their surroundings with all kinds of children

Something I have found helpful with my own kids is practicing social interactions and reading books about good manners. Of course modeling behavior is super important. But when we do pretend play I’ll weave in practicing interacting with new people. Like how to you greet someone, how to properly respond in conversation, etc. Practicing those social skills is fun and can help them feel more comfortable.

Anonymous wrote:Take your kid to a small Family Child Care home or a nanny who knows of playmates.

The child needs socialization! It's like a kid who was raised by wolves. It affects them. But your kids is not late. Theur brain is amazing and can learn and adjust. They can learn 3 languages in age as young like 2 and 3 years old

Socialization with strangers is over-hyped at this age. OP's toddler has older siblings in the home who provide the most crucial socialization. As long as they play well at home and spend quality time with one another, everything else is just icing. Little kids who have siblings spend much more time playing with their own siblings than with friends or strangers.

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is scared of non-family members. I have older kids who are outgoing so have never dealt with this and am worried about him. He's on track for all milestones and the pediatrician said it's just stranger danger and not to compare children because they all have different traits—but he is extremely shy, to the point that people comment on it, and if there is anything I can do to help I want to do it. We take him to the playground and to events with people frequently. He'll play but just avoid the other people there and gets upset if a stranger tries to interact with him. Advice?

Your ped is right. I have two who are complete opposites in this regard despite the same upbringing and same genetics. It's just hard-wired and not something you can control or predict. The older they get, the more they gravitate toward the median. Shy people learn to get over their social anxiety, and super-extroverts learn to tone it down and chill out. At this tender age, gentle encouragement but don't force it. Consistency is key. You never know, your child may surprise you and one day just strike up a convo with an unknown child.

Take your kid to a small Family Child Care home or a nanny who knows of playmates.

The child needs socialization! It's like a kid who was raised by wolves. It affects them. But your kids is not late. Theur brain is amazing and can learn and adjust. They can learn 3 languages in age as young like 2 and 3 years old

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's almost two, and not in preschool or daycare. By "gets upset" I mean cries and if possible runs to the nearest family member and clings to them like he's afraid. The other day a sweet old lady in the grocery store leaned in to coo over him and tried to touch his cheek and he lost it; you'd think from his reaction that a wolf gnashing its teeth was closing in on him.

Dp. I'm sorry but if a ," sweet" old lady tried to touch my cheek I would not be happy. Your toddler's reaction is normal..please just leave them alone. Now if they are older like 8 and runs away to hide than that would be unusual.

I agree with this. I don't think this is an usual response by an almost two year old.

When my son was that age, he was in daycare in my office building. I would occasionally bring into my office in the morning for a few minutes before daycare opened. Where he would hide under my desk, or behind me, when a co-worker tried to interact with him. This was the same woman each time (my boss!), and I was so embarrassed by his reaction. And he was like this in general with people he didn't really know.

Then he turned 4. Transformed into a very different little boy who blossomed into a social butterfly. He's in college now and is amazing in social situations, knows what to talk about, how to put people at ease, and enjoys public speaking.

Anonymous wrote:He's almost two, and not in preschool or daycare. By "gets upset" I mean cries and if possible runs to the nearest family member and clings to them like he's afraid. The other day a sweet old lady in the grocery store leaned in to coo over him and tried to touch his cheek and he lost it; you'd think from his reaction that a wolf gnashing its teeth was closing in on him.

Dp. I'm sorry but if a ," sweet" old lady tried to touch my cheek I would not be happy. Your toddler's reaction is normal..please just leave them alone. Now if they are older like 8 and runs away to hide than that would be unusual.

Anonymous wrote:He's almost two, and not in preschool or daycare. By "gets upset" I mean cries and if possible runs to the nearest family member and clings to them like he's afraid. The other day a sweet old lady in the grocery store leaned in to coo over him and tried to touch his cheek and he lost it; you'd think from his reaction that a wolf gnashing its teeth was closing in on him.

This is the problem and the solution.

He's almost two, and not in preschool or daycare. By "gets upset" I mean cries and if possible runs to the nearest family member and clings to them like he's afraid. The other day a sweet old lady in the grocery store leaned in to coo over him and tried to touch his cheek and he lost it; you'd think from his reaction that a wolf gnashing its teeth was closing in on him.

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is scared of non-family members. I have older kids who are outgoing so have never dealt with this and am worried about him. He's on track for all milestones and the pediatrician said it's just stranger danger and not to compare children because they all have different traits—but he is extremely shy, to the point that people comment on it, and if there is anything I can do to help I want to do it. We take him to the playground and to events with people frequently. He'll play but just avoid the other people there and gets upset if a stranger tries to interact with him. Advice?

Age? ("toddler" can be wide-ranging)

And what does "gets upset if a stranger tries to interact" mean? How does he react?

I had shy toddlers (who were in all-day daycare, but still shy with people outside the family) and they're confident, outgoing teens now.

If you think something is really 'off' please get an eval by a psychologist for selective mutism and/or other social anxiety. it is not about getting a diagnosis necessarily, but you can learn tools for how to support your kids. There are a lot of behavioral techniques you can deply for small children so that they will not have as much social anxiety later.

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I have this exact same problem with my 2.5 year old DD. Since she was a Covid baby, she didn't have a ton of socialization for the first year or so of her life, though she has been in daycare since then. She's fine once she feels comfortable around people, though she is very slow to warm up to people. I hope it's a phase that she'll just grow out of, but worry what happens if she doesn't.....

Why are you worried? Not everyone needs to be the life of the party. You can have few friends and be very happy!

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know but I have a niece who exhibited this at a young age and we always thought she’d just grow out of it but she never did. At a certain age it comes off as really rude. She is a senior in high school, has close friends but it’s honestly just hard to be around her or carry on a conversation if you’re not one of those few friends or her mom. Soft/social skills are really important basic life skills and I think it’s good you recognize it early and want to get him help.

Your niece could be neurodivergent.