Anonymous
03/20/2023 16:39
Subject: Re:Mock poverty?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I know this. She care about you and want you to feel like you are no different and still having the same struggles.
I have been in similar situations. We used to be middle class but we are now upper upper middle class.
We were talking with a group of friends (most of them middle class), and they were all complaining about inflation and how they feel it when they buy groceries. They had to cut their spending on groceries, etc. I was nodding in agreement. But the reality is that I'm not feeling it and haven't noticed it at all. I realized that I was nodding because I wanted to make them feel like we were still together and having similar problems.
I do the same at my workplace. Our house is paid off, we have no debt, we have additional side hustles bringing income, substantial retirement savings. But whenever my older coworkers start complaining about money, I nod in agreement. Little they know that I could afford to quit my job at anytime and be fine. They think they I have mortgage just like they do.
Trust me, there are a lot of people who are in the same situation as you and just nodding in agreement. In fact, you are probably nodding in agreement to people who could quit their job any time as well.
Anonymous
03/20/2023 16:35
Subject: Mock poverty?
I'm a huge believer in Stealth Wealth. Don't let people know you have money. When you are away from your neighborhood, then spend away (but don't post about it on social media).
Anonymous
03/20/2023 10:09
Subject: Re:Mock poverty?
Anonymous wrote:I know this. She care about you and want you to feel like you are no different and still having the same struggles.
I have been in similar situations. We used to be middle class but we are now upper upper middle class.
We were talking with a group of friends (most of them middle class), and they were all complaining about inflation and how they feel it when they buy groceries. They had to cut their spending on groceries, etc. I was nodding in agreement. But the reality is that I'm not feeling it and haven't noticed it at all. I realized that I was nodding because I wanted to make them feel like we were still together and having similar problems.
That’s different. You were listening and acknowledging their struggles. OP’s wealthy friend is initiating the conversation topic. That’s weird - it’s like she wants to bait OP into admitting similar struggles. If not, it’s a really tone deaf and awkward version of trying to be “down to earth”. It’s patronizing and weird.
Anonymous
03/20/2023 10:04
Subject: Re:Mock poverty?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I know this. She care about you and want you to feel like you are no different and still having the same struggles.
I have been in similar situations. We used to be middle class but we are now upper upper middle class.
We were talking with a group of friends (most of them middle class), and they were all complaining about inflation and how they feel it when they buy groceries. They had to cut their spending on groceries, etc. I was nodding in agreement. But the reality is that I'm not feeling it and haven't noticed it at all. I realized that I was nodding because I wanted to make them feel like we were still together and having similar problems.
I do the same at my workplace. Our house is paid off, we have no debt, we have additional side hustles bringing income, substantial retirement savings. But whenever my older coworkers start complaining about money, I nod in agreement. Little they know that I could afford to quit my job at anytime and be fine. They think they I have mortgage just like they do.
I’m like this at work also. I don’t wear my diamonds or designers clothes bc it can only hurt you for people to think you don’t need the money.
Anonymous
03/19/2023 20:29
Subject: Re:Mock poverty?
Anonymous wrote:I know this. She care about you and want you to feel like you are no different and still having the same struggles.
I have been in similar situations. We used to be middle class but we are now upper upper middle class.
We were talking with a group of friends (most of them middle class), and they were all complaining about inflation and how they feel it when they buy groceries. They had to cut their spending on groceries, etc. I was nodding in agreement. But the reality is that I'm not feeling it and haven't noticed it at all. I realized that I was nodding because I wanted to make them feel like we were still together and having similar problems.
I do the same at my workplace. Our house is paid off, we have no debt, we have additional side hustles bringing income, substantial retirement savings. But whenever my older coworkers start complaining about money, I nod in agreement. Little they know that I could afford to quit my job at anytime and be fine. They think they I have mortgage just like they do.
Anonymous
03/19/2023 13:50
Subject: Mock poverty?
Anonymous wrote:Whenever I meet with my high school friend, who is very wealthy, she says things that leave me puzzled and a little paranoid of my social standing/appearance. For example, she’ll “confide” to me she cannot afford a dentist or her husband is desperately waiting to get paid so they can get groceries. I feel like she wants me to reciprocate and say something like, “I’m struggling too. I cannot afford blah blah blah.” When there is a third friend who is also wealthy she never does this. Thoughts?
I have friends across the economic spectrum and the only people I know who talk like this are broke because they spend too much on the wrong stuff. The ones who are just barely eking it out by cutting every corner possible aren’t the ones who make these comments. I don’t know why there’s a difference, but there is. And it doesn’t seem to matter if they’re UMC strivers who stretched themselves too thin vs blue collar or hourly folks.
If this woman is legit wealthy and making comments like this, it’s weird no matter the cause. Have a little self-awareness.
Anonymous
03/19/2023 13:28
Subject: Mock poverty?
Anonymous wrote:It’s clear you don’t like her. Why do you maintain the friendship? Surely not her famous last name!
"We're dining with the Carters tonight. You know, of the GRAYDON Carters. Perhaps you've heard of them."
Anonymous
03/18/2023 20:40
Subject: Mock poverty?
It’s clear you don’t like her. Why do you maintain the friendship? Surely not her famous last name!
Anonymous
03/18/2023 20:39
Subject: Re:Mock poverty?
Anonymous wrote:Lots of people like this have an inheritance that makes then not have to save for retirement or college and then live off their salaries while never touching principal. So they sort of play at being paycheck to paycheck but really the safety angle is covered.
I wish people like this would shut up. I know someone in this situation, and I hate hearing her complain about money because her husband's family is extremely wealthy so they don't have to save for college for their kids or retirement for themselves. They've made some extremely stupid financial decisions and spend a lot, then complain about stupid little costs. They'll be fine no matter what they do due to his eventual inheritance even though they're living on their salaries for now (plus some gifts here and there).
Anonymous
03/18/2023 20:32
Subject: Mock poverty?
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think it’s a financial abuse situation from the husband, maybe the parents who buy ocean front homes and she has one home and pays a mortgage. Husband is upper middle class/self made parents. Her wealth is from her great grandparents fortune in starting a well known publication. I sometimes wonder if he saw a meal ticket, not the other way around. I think she can be catty and she is gossipy. Like she’ll say she suspects one of our classmates has autism or questions the paternity of a friend with light blonde hair (I knew the kids aunt and told my catty friend his hair is just like the aunts.)
Then she's either 1) trying to get you to divulge your own financial struggles so she can feel superior or 2) in a really weird way, she's trying to relate to "regular people." I'd drop her for the catty, gossipy stuff though. Gossiping about suspicions of the paternity is really awful.
Anonymous
03/18/2023 18:57
Subject: Mock poverty?
It sounds like she isn't actually rich and is confiding in you.
Anonymous
03/17/2023 10:26
Subject: Mock poverty?
I had a "friend" slight me like this on and off and I let it go for a long time just chalking it up to insecurity but when the slights and vicious comments outweigh the good times, it's time to move on.
Anonymous
03/17/2023 07:30
Subject: Mock poverty?
Anonymous wrote:Why does this make you paranoid of your social standing/appearance - because she’s implying you would know about financial struggle? It could be a power play - trying to put you down by addressing you as though you have financial stress. Or, she’s play-acting as a “normal” person? In any case, a bit odd
I think it’s really this. She is odd. I’ve widened my social circle and can put her behavior towards me in perspective, in a good way for me.
Anonymous
03/17/2023 06:00
Subject: Re:Mock poverty?
Lots of people like this have an inheritance that makes then not have to save for retirement or college and then live off their salaries while never touching principal. So they sort of play at being paycheck to paycheck but really the safety angle is covered.
Anonymous
03/17/2023 00:45
Subject: Mock poverty?
Why does this make you paranoid of your social standing/appearance - because she’s implying you would know about financial struggle? It could be a power play - trying to put you down by addressing you as though you have financial stress. Or, she’s play-acting as a “normal” person? In any case, a bit odd