Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 09:05     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.


Yep, DP and I 100 percent agree with this.

I think there are two questions: 1) are the expectations insane? No, not in my opinion given the level of competitiveness around here for team sports. Players should be at every practice. My DD's JV coach said they show up even if injured. 2) Should the communications have been handled differently? Yes, on both sides. There's no need for the coach to be an ass, but also, the players should approach the coach separately and talk to him NOT in a group chat. They are playing for their high school, it's not rec -- it's highly competitive (doesn't matter if the team is bad) and there are presumably many kids who would want a spot that didn't get one.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 09:04     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.


If this is a private school and the kid was recruited and is receiving aid to play, then that's a fair expectation, otherwise, jv soccer is just another extracurricular and they all take a backseat to academics.

Listen, I played college soccer and still that took a backseat to academics. But there is "prioritizing academics" and there is "scheduling stuff during practice when you could've found another solution". I feel like this noncommittal attitude about stuff like this belittles the effort of everyone involved and also is why I'm seeing millennials and gen z folks be so lazy at work. I don't expect people to sacrifice their lives for their job at all, but the "I do what I want and I don't care how it affects everyone else because #selfcare" or whatever makes people awful team players and I don't want to work with them.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 09:02     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.


If this is a private school and the kid was recruited and is receiving aid to play, then that's a fair expectation, otherwise, jv soccer is just another extracurricular and they all take a backseat to academics.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 09:00     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Anonymous wrote:I think you need to be clear, it there actual yelling going on about this from the coach to the girls? People claim yelling for reprimanding, criticism, or correcting a lot- but it isn’t the same thing


+1. Maybe he did actually yell. But one of my DD's says we "yelled" at her if we simply correct her or remind her in an annoyed tone that she forget her chores or something. She considers that "yelling" at her.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:58     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
At our high school, kids are permitted to miss practices and matches under the following circumstances: 1) an academic event (so like presenting at a math night would be ok, studying for a test would not be an excuse; making up a test if that were the only time the teacher were available would be fine); 2) a mandatory band or orchestra event; 3) a family emergency; and 4) illness.
That seems fairly reasonable to me.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:56     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Anonymous wrote:So many kids play soccer so it just so super competitive to make the high school team and the coaches know they are in control.


This. At our large MCPS HS, it's the same thing. So many come out for the team, and so many are incredibly talented, that if you aren't there all the time, they know they can replace you with someone who will be there all the time.

Our child, on crutches mid-season, attended every practice (even in bad weather), in addition to all remaining games, because they wanted to show dedication and a good attitude, so they would make the team the following year.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:55     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Am I the only one who thinks it's reasonable to expect the kids to attend every practice barring illness? Sounds like the kid scheduled something during a time she knew she had practice. If she called the coach to explain a dire situation like she was failing a class and desperately needed a session before a big exam, then I think it would've gone differently. But honestly, even JV, if you are on a team, you show up. If kids felt like they could be absent every now and then it really affects the team. If your goalie just didn't show up, what would you do? If the coach designed a practice around set pieces and the goalie decided she needed to see a tutor instead, how does that work? It's disrespectful. You show up unless you are ill. She knew the schedule for the team and she chose to be on it. Yes, the kids need to work with the coaches to let them know what's going on academically and the coach should be able to support that... but I wouldn't expect the coach to continually deal with kids scheduling stuff during practice time.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:48     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
The coach should not be testing the kids at all. He should know that.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:47     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yep, that’s absurd. The coach is confused as to where he works and what he’s supposed to be doing for these girls. They’re not Olympic athletes, they’re freshman students who happen to play soccer. I’d honestly go to the principal about it.


Principal and athletic director. Screenshots to document.

Also, I just finished Safe sport training and attacking a player in a team group chat like that is borderline harassment.


This is for JV soccer. There aren't qualified coaches banging down the door to get those jobs
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:46     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Anonymous wrote:I think you need to be clear, it there actual yelling going on about this from the coach to the girls? People claim yelling for reprimanding, criticism, or correcting a lot- but it isn’t the same thing



Go to any high school game in any sport and the odds are pretty good that at least one coach will be screaming at their players
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:44     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
When I was in high school 20 years ago, I was on a sport like this. But I didn’t think anything of it. Before the season started, students and parents had a meeting where our coach went over expectations. Including we were expecting to be at practicing over Xmas break, non negotiable. When kids were injured in sick, they still came to practice and sat out if needed or modified what they did. I recall a couple girls that had mono and they still came to every practice once they were out of the initial contagious phase and able to tolerate being out of bed.

I guess it depends on if the coach was clear with the expectations before the season started and if the conflicts that are coming up are truly unavoidable and if there is a pattern.

If you think the coach is out of line or don’t agree with their expectations, you can bring it up to the school’s athletic director.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:43     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Anonymous wrote:This is the same environment in club/travel soccer in this area as well. It’s no wonder that abuse, in many forms, is rampant in the sport/ women’s soccer league. We teach these girls it’s not OK to stick up for themselves and not to identify what they should be putting first. We teach them to question themselves.


The same expectations are in men's soccer (HS and club) as well.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:42     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations

Lord. This is NOT acceptable. I would email both coach and principal and say that a sport should never take priority over academics or personal well being.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:37     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
So many kids play soccer so it just so super competitive to make the high school team and the coaches know they are in control. My kid had a season ending injury and was told to be even considered making the team the following year that they had to sit thru the 2 hour practices and watch for the rest of the season.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2023 08:34     Subject: High School soccer insane expectations
Anonymous wrote:Yep, that’s absurd. The coach is confused as to where he works and what he’s supposed to be doing for these girls. They’re not Olympic athletes, they’re freshman students who happen to play soccer. I’d honestly go to the principal about it.


Principal and athletic director. Screenshots to document.

Also, I just finished Safe sport training and attacking a player in a team group chat like that is borderline harassment.