Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are only doing private training for DD's three sports so we can set it up as a schedule that works for us. She guest plays in tournaments where possible for soccer, basketball and field hockey but we won't have her join any of the teams until late middle/early high school when it's time to get recruited in the two that she likes best that also don't overlap seasons in college.

This is sick

How is this beneficial to her in team sports? Where is she developing team camaraderie and sportsmanship? How will she ever excel in team sports if she has only had this perfect, concierge version of sports instead of working with a variety of coaches and teammates?

She usually guest plays with the same teams/clubs, but guest-playing in general means coming into contact with different coaches and players because she's not always with the same group. She is also starting to do several camps in the summer to be known by the college coaching staffs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is similar and in high school now. Our rule was one year of travel overlap and then they have to choose. When there are no conflicts, they had to both choose and tell the coach that they were missing. It worked well enough, they ended up with one year round travel sport plus rec swimming in the summer, soccer and volleyball fall and spring and travel basketball year round. They play three sports in high school

How did the rec-level coaches handle it? We allow my son one travel sport and they compete about 9 months a year, which means we often have to miss rec-level games, and the coach and other parents seem annoyed. I really love the idea of multisport athletes but I feel ashamed to show my face at the rec-level games we can attend lately.

Rec rosters age huge. A no show means more playing time for other kids

That’s not true and in some sports it’s disruptive to the team to have a kid missing when they practice plays that use that kid. Missing more than 1-2 games a season is selfish and you should not do the rec sport. You are not doing the rec kids or coaches a favor by gracing them with your child’s presence to occasionally participate in your kid’s 2nd or 3rd choice activity. The parents are annoyed. Don’t sign up for that rec team again if you can’t make an effort to attend the majority of practices and games.

He rec soccer roster was 17 in the fall and 16 in the spring and basketball was 14. Any kid not going really does mean playing time for everyone else.

Rosters aren’t always so large. My son had a team in fifth grade where they never had subs (sure, more paying time, but the other team is less tired ) however worse was they had to play down a person three or four times that year on his rec soccer team. It was not fun to worry each game that they might not have enough to play and would have to forfeit.

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and I divide and conquer and we also do carpools. We have 3 kids. It is tough and I don’t force kids to do any activities. I am not fighting with anyone to go to anything. If they really want to do something without complaining- I do make it work.

This, Kids are HS juniors. Both swim for high school varsity team + club swim + rec soccer + school clubs/activities.

As long as grades stay up, attitude stays positive (most of the time!), and they enjoy it, we will make it happen.

We rely on a lot of carpools and DH and I share the rest.

Anonymous wrote:Multiple people do this in this area, its kind of the norm for kids who are good athletes.

At some point you have to prioritize the sports, then work off that. Number one priority never gets missed, at least not in the main season (even though many sports go year-round now, they do realize and will accept that people will sometimes miss practices when it's not the main season, games/tournaments less often hopefully).

Then as you sign up for other sports, do so knowing that the main sport gets top-ish priority and communicate that to the other teams as you sign up. If your kid is a good athlete/player, you can usually find a team or situation that will accommodate them.

This is generally how we work it. I have one child that plays on travel teams in two sports (travel lax and AAU basketball) but also plays rec sports in season like football and rec/CYO basketball. In season, travel takes precedence over rec no matter what. Out of season travel stuff (like fall lax) is managed based on what is going on. Tournaments are not missed but practices might be missed because of in season sports. For example, in the fall when my son played football and had travel lax practices, football would take precedence but we would still go to travel lax depending on what is going on.

Our biggest issue is the next couple of months when travel lax and AAU seasons conflict. We have taken the view that lax is in season and will make all the AAU stuff we can. In fact, our son made an A team for AAU program but we had him drop down to their B team because of the conflicts. We talked with the A coach and told him our reasoning. We told the A coach that he would be conflicted out of too much and that he was really only wanting to keep his skills up and wanted to play for the B team. The A coach was very appreciative that we were open and honest with him. He said many parents wouldn't say anything and that it raises issues with having enough kids for tournaments. So my view is that if you communicate with the coaches what you are doing, they will be open to working with you. The better your child is the more leeway the coach is willing to give. Though some coaches won't. Just the nature of the beast and I completely understand those coaches view. My son had made another AAU team that plays higher level tournaments and had the discussion with the coach and he said that wasn't going to work because he wanted players "all in." And that is fine. But, he also appreciated that we told him up front.

As for rec, most rec coaches understand the deal. He plays when he can and makes as many practices as he can. It generally hasn't been an issue. I've coached a variety of rec and mid-level sports teams and I have kids missing all the time for higher end travel sports. I also understand because generally the kids that miss practices are very quick to pick up on plays, techniques, drills, etc. than the kids that just play rec sports. They generally just have a higher sports IQ than your average rec kid. Most parents understand because most rec sports are about playing with your friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is similar and in high school now. Our rule was one year of travel overlap and then they have to choose. When there are no conflicts, they had to both choose and tell the coach that they were missing. It worked well enough, they ended up with one year round travel sport plus rec swimming in the summer, soccer and volleyball fall and spring and travel basketball year round. They play three sports in high school

How did the rec-level coaches handle it? We allow my son one travel sport and they compete about 9 months a year, which means we often have to miss rec-level games, and the coach and other parents seem annoyed. I really love the idea of multisport athletes but I feel ashamed to show my face at the rec-level games we can attend lately.

Rec rosters age huge. A no show means more playing time for other kids

That’s not true and in some sports it’s disruptive to the team to have a kid missing when they practice plays that use that kid. Missing more than 1-2 games a season is selfish and you should not do the rec sport. You are not doing the rec kids or coaches a favor by gracing them with your child’s presence to occasionally participate in your kid’s 2nd or 3rd choice activity. The parents are annoyed. Don’t sign up for that rec team again if you can’t make an effort to attend the majority of practices and games.

He rec soccer roster was 17 in the fall and 16 in the spring and basketball was 14. Any kid not going really does mean playing time for everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:If you have your kids on multiple travel teams in early elementary, that's on you, not your kids. No first or fourth grade kid "prefers club/travel sports to rec because of the structure." That's a parental choice and a really stupid one.

Parents in la la land

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are only doing private training for DD's three sports so we can set it up as a schedule that works for us. She guest plays in tournaments where possible for soccer, basketball and field hockey but we won't have her join any of the teams until late middle/early high school when it's time to get recruited in the two that she likes best that also don't overlap seasons in college.

This is sick

How is this beneficial to her in team sports? Where is she developing team camaraderie and sportsmanship? How will she ever excel in team sports if she has only had this perfect, concierge version of sports instead of working with a variety of coaches and teammates?

She will find out the hard way soon enough

Multiple people do this in this area, its kind of the norm for kids who are good athletes.

At some point you have to prioritize the sports, then work off that. Number one priority never gets missed, at least not in the main season (even though many sports go year-round now, they do realize and will accept that people will sometimes miss practices when it's not the main season, games/tournaments less often hopefully).

Then as you sign up for other sports, do so knowing that the main sport gets top-ish priority and communicate that to the other teams as you sign up. If your kid is a good athlete/player, you can usually find a team or situation that will accommodate them.

If you have your kids on multiple travel teams in early elementary, that's on you, not your kids. No first or fourth grade kid "prefers club/travel sports to rec because of the structure." That's a parental choice and a really stupid one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is similar and in high school now. Our rule was one year of travel overlap and then they have to choose. When there are no conflicts, they had to both choose and tell the coach that they were missing. It worked well enough, they ended up with one year round travel sport plus rec swimming in the summer, soccer and volleyball fall and spring and travel basketball year round. They play three sports in high school

How did the rec-level coaches handle it? We allow my son one travel sport and they compete about 9 months a year, which means we often have to miss rec-level games, and the coach and other parents seem annoyed. I really love the idea of multisport athletes but I feel ashamed to show my face at the rec-level games we can attend lately.

Rec rosters age huge. A no show means more playing time for other kids

That’s not true and in some sports it’s disruptive to the team to have a kid missing when they practice plays that use that kid. Missing more than 1-2 games a season is selfish and you should not do the rec sport. You are not doing the rec kids or coaches a favor by gracing them with your child’s presence to occasionally participate in your kid’s 2nd or 3rd choice activity. The parents are annoyed. Don’t sign up for that rec team again if you can’t make an effort to attend the majority of practices and games.

I only have one kid but couldn’t manage what you are describing. She is in 5th grade now and does club swim 2x a week and a martial art 2-3x a week. She has played rec soccer previously and wants to do it again this spring so I’ve signed her up. I’m guessing she may miss the martial art class though during soccer season. Either keep doing what you’re doing and don’t complain or change it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are only doing private training for DD's three sports so we can set it up as a schedule that works for us. She guest plays in tournaments where possible for soccer, basketball and field hockey but we won't have her join any of the teams until late middle/early high school when it's time to get recruited in the two that she likes best that also don't overlap seasons in college.

This is sick

How is this beneficial to her in team sports? Where is she developing team camaraderie and sportsmanship? How will she ever excel in team sports if she has only had this perfect, concierge version of sports instead of working with a variety of coaches and teammates?

It’s fine to do multiple things. The keys are making sure family does not suffer. What you do for one kid you need to do for your others.

As for basic priorities in schedule management- you need to be very communicative with coaches if there are timing issues. If you are going to be late - you must notify the coach well in advance. If you are going to be absent you must notify the coach well in advance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is similar and in high school now. Our rule was one year of travel overlap and then they have to choose. When there are no conflicts, they had to both choose and tell the coach that they were missing. It worked well enough, they ended up with one year round travel sport plus rec swimming in the summer, soccer and volleyball fall and spring and travel basketball year round. They play three sports in high school

How did the rec-level coaches handle it? We allow my son one travel sport and they compete about 9 months a year, which means we often have to miss rec-level games, and the coach and other parents seem annoyed. I really love the idea of multisport athletes but I feel ashamed to show my face at the rec-level games we can attend lately.

Rec rosters age huge. A no show means more playing time for other kids

Yeah this is sick if your kid is only in 1st or 2nd