Anonymous
03/07/2023 20:52
Subject: PSA don't be clueless
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, my adult kids are not asking or expecting me to cover this BS. They are just venting. So, I am venting, and strongly suggesting that parents of the wedding couple, and especially the wedding couple, heed my plea, and just consider others' financials.
My adult kids accepted the position of Bride's Maid, Best Man, Maid of Honor, Groomsmen etc. not being aware that it is expected that they will have no qualms about shelling out upwards of $1000 per wedding. It's extremely inconsiderate.
I am mid-30s and my friends that are getting married now are much more extravagant and lavish than those who got married in their 20s. For example, I had one childhood friend recently get married in Costa Rica (flights were $600/each, plus $750/night at the all-inclusive).
I was in the wedding party so I got access to all of the behind-the-scenes drama; the couple is still upset a few weeks later because most people didn't gift anything on top of spending $3500/couple and 3 PTO days to celebrate; the bride was upset that only some of us travelled for the destination (driving) bachelorette; the bride was PO'd at the MOH for not throwing a more lavish bridal shower, and the kicker - the bride is still mad that the groom's side had a better turnout for the wedding, even though he comes from a more well-to-do family. I have known this person forever and it really colored my opinion of her. I know her family was upset they couldn't swing it, and I know they tried to explain to her what would happen, but she wanted that destination wedding (everyone else be damned).
I think it's fine when people want to do whatever they want for their wedding - go get married at the zoo on the moon with 15 bridesmaids for all I care - but people can't get upset when others can't/won't participate for any reason.
Not defending the couple, but yes the people who attended but didn’t send a gift are rude. They could afford $3,500 for the trip but not an extra $50 or $100 for a gift card or blender?
I'm guessing this couple expected way more than $50-100 or a blender. Just a wild guess....
Anonymous
03/07/2023 20:51
Subject: PSA don't be clueless
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, my adult kids are not asking or expecting me to cover this BS. They are just venting. So, I am venting, and strongly suggesting that parents of the wedding couple, and especially the wedding couple, heed my plea, and just consider others' financials.
My adult kids accepted the position of Bride's Maid, Best Man, Maid of Honor, Groomsmen etc. not being aware that it is expected that they will have no qualms about shelling out upwards of $1000 per wedding. It's extremely inconsiderate.
I am mid-30s and my friends that are getting married now are much more extravagant and lavish than those who got married in their 20s. For example, I had one childhood friend recently get married in Costa Rica (flights were $600/each, plus $750/night at the all-inclusive).
I was in the wedding party so I got access to all of the behind-the-scenes drama; the couple is still upset a few weeks later because most people didn't gift anything on top of spending $3500/couple and 3 PTO days to celebrate; the bride was upset that only some of us travelled for the destination (driving) bachelorette; the bride was PO'd at the MOH for not throwing a more lavish bridal shower, and the kicker - the bride is still mad that the groom's side had a better turnout for the wedding, even though he comes from a more well-to-do family. I have known this person forever and it really colored my opinion of her. I know her family was upset they couldn't swing it, and I know they tried to explain to her what would happen, but she wanted that destination wedding (everyone else be damned).
I think it's fine when people want to do whatever they want for their wedding - go get married at the zoo on the moon with 15 bridesmaids for all I care - but people can't get upset when others can't/won't participate for any reason.
Sorry you spent so much on your entitled friends wedding!! I thought whole point of a destination wedding was to have a small wedding (unless you are beyond wealthy), sort of culling the guest list to only those who really matter/care about the couple. That couple sounds really entitled.
Anonymous
03/07/2023 14:17
Subject: PSA don't be clueless
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No, my adult kids are not asking or expecting me to cover this BS. They are just venting. So, I am venting, and strongly suggesting that parents of the wedding couple, and especially the wedding couple, heed my plea, and just consider others' financials.
My adult kids accepted the position of Bride's Maid, Best Man, Maid of Honor, Groomsmen etc. not being aware that it is expected that they will have no qualms about shelling out upwards of $1000 per wedding. It's extremely inconsiderate.
I am mid-30s and my friends that are getting married now are much more extravagant and lavish than those who got married in their 20s. For example, I had one childhood friend recently get married in Costa Rica (flights were $600/each, plus $750/night at the all-inclusive).
I was in the wedding party so I got access to all of the behind-the-scenes drama; the couple is still upset a few weeks later because most people didn't gift anything on top of spending $3500/couple and 3 PTO days to celebrate; the bride was upset that only some of us travelled for the destination (driving) bachelorette; the bride was PO'd at the MOH for not throwing a more lavish bridal shower, and the kicker - the bride is still mad that the groom's side had a better turnout for the wedding, even though he comes from a more well-to-do family. I have known this person forever and it really colored my opinion of her. I know her family was upset they couldn't swing it, and I know they tried to explain to her what would happen, but she wanted that destination wedding (everyone else be damned).
I think it's fine when people want to do whatever they want for their wedding - go get married at the zoo on the moon with 15 bridesmaids for all I care - but people can't get upset when others can't/won't participate for any reason.
Not defending the couple, but yes the people who attended but didn’t send a gift are rude. They could afford $3,500 for the trip but not an extra $50 or $100 for a gift card or blender?
Anonymous
03/06/2023 17:14
Subject: Re:PSA don't be clueless
Be glad your AC gets invited to these events—my AC does not and never has.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 17:10
Subject: PSA don't be clueless
Anonymous wrote:No, my adult kids are not asking or expecting me to cover this BS. They are just venting. So, I am venting, and strongly suggesting that parents of the wedding couple, and especially the wedding couple, heed my plea, and just consider others' financials.
My adult kids accepted the position of Bride's Maid, Best Man, Maid of Honor, Groomsmen etc. not being aware that it is expected that they will have no qualms about shelling out upwards of $1000 per wedding. It's extremely inconsiderate.
Why are your kids' financials more important than the preferences of the couple getting married? If your kids can't afford it, they can back out or talk to the bride or groom about the cost. Maybe they need to skip the bachelor/bachelorette parties, or the shower, etc.
I was completely broke in grad school and had to turn down quite a few requests to be in friends' wedding parties because I knew I couldn't afford the dress, let alone all of the other expenses. Sometimes I couldn't even afford to go to the wedding itself. I never expected others to adjust their wedding plans because I couldn't afford to be a part of it.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 16:48
Subject: PSA don't be clueless
Anonymous wrote:No, my adult kids are not asking or expecting me to cover this BS. They are just venting. So, I am venting, and strongly suggesting that parents of the wedding couple, and especially the wedding couple, heed my plea, and just consider others' financials.
My adult kids accepted the position of Bride's Maid, Best Man, Maid of Honor, Groomsmen etc. not being aware that it is expected that they will have no qualms about shelling out upwards of $1000 per wedding. It's extremely inconsiderate.
I am mid-30s and my friends that are getting married now are much more extravagant and lavish than those who got married in their 20s. For example, I had one childhood friend recently get married in Costa Rica (flights were $600/each, plus $750/night at the all-inclusive).
I was in the wedding party so I got access to all of the behind-the-scenes drama; the couple is still upset a few weeks later because most people didn't gift anything on top of spending $3500/couple and 3 PTO days to celebrate; the bride was upset that only some of us travelled for the destination (driving) bachelorette; the bride was PO'd at the MOH for not throwing a more lavish bridal shower, and the kicker - the bride is still mad that the groom's side had a better turnout for the wedding, even though he comes from a more well-to-do family. I have known this person forever and it really colored my opinion of her. I know her family was upset they couldn't swing it, and I know they tried to explain to her what would happen, but she wanted that destination wedding (everyone else be damned).
I think it's fine when people want to do whatever they want for their wedding - go get married at the zoo on the moon with 15 bridesmaids for all I care - but people can't get upset when others can't/won't participate for any reason.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 16:14
Subject: PSA don't be clueless
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:PSA there is a forum called ADULT CHILDREN and you should avail yourself of it.
This is literally in that forum.
It wasn't at the original time of posting, it got moved.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 16:13
Subject: PSA don't be clueless
Anonymous wrote:No, my adult kids are not asking or expecting me to cover this BS. They are just venting. So, I am venting, and strongly suggesting that parents of the wedding couple, and especially the wedding couple, heed my plea, and just consider others' financials.
My adult kids accepted the position of Bride's Maid, Best Man, Maid of Honor, Groomsmen etc. not being aware that it is expected that they will have no qualms about shelling out upwards of $1000 per wedding. It's extremely inconsiderate.
You're barking up the wrong tree. Again and again everyone says the wedding is about the bride and groom. Parents have no say on much especially the guest list. If the bride and groom are behind the wedding party shenanigans then the parents of the happy couple have no part in this. Find a wedding board to vent on. Is the knot.com still active?
Anonymous
03/06/2023 16:11
Subject: PSA don't be clueless
Sorry you’re a povvo.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 16:11
Subject: PSA don't be clueless
Anonymous wrote:PSA there is a forum called ADULT CHILDREN and you should avail yourself of it.
This is literally in that forum.