Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences

And that’s when most midlife affairs occur. Selfish mother effers.

+1. We had a happy house and happy family. Sex too.

It isn’t enough for some.

Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences

And that’s when most midlife affairs occur. Selfish mother effers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences

Yeah, sorry, that's not backed up by data at all

Lol there are no “scientific” conclusory facts about these things, selection bias is far too great for “data” to tell you much. People are still arguing about whether the “data” tells you divorce is even bad for kids! (It is). You have to use your observational skills and knowledge about the world

Anonymous wrote:Never. It should be very difficult to divorce.

I’m curious: Are you a child of divorced parents? How about a child of parents who couldn’t have a civil conversation with each other — or sit next to each other in an ICU waiting room? I am.

Perhaps it should be very difficult to get married. Getting divorced should be easy enough that any kids impacted don’t get damaged by the fallout from the difficulties of getting a divorce.

I’d argue for younger — so that the norms of what a family is for the kids are different from early on. But marriages and families and individual needs are usually more complex than a “ best age” answer can convey. I do have a huge caveat though: My parents divorced when I was about 11 — so transferring to another school anyway, and the only kid impacted by custody issues. For years, my Mom would say that she waited to divorce until she felt her kids “were old enough to understand “. As the youngest kid, that meant me. I was furious. Not only did that decision feel like a burden, had she asked me at any point, years before that, I would have told her that from my perspective, a divorce would probably make everyone happier. So: Whatever you do, PLEASE don’t frame your decision to get a divorce around anything at all that has to do with your kids — when you talk with your kids.

Anonymous wrote:Never. It should be very difficult to divorce.

It is.

I left when mine were 6 months and 2.5. I realized I had to go when my toddler was trying to yell louder than her father so he would stop yelling at me.

Before 3.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences

Yeah, sorry, that's not backed up by data at all

Pp here. Yes the younger the better is backed up by data. But 'severe psychological consequences' is an exaggeration. Yes it can happen but with married parents too!

Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences

Yeah, sorry, that's not backed up by data at all

Anonymous wrote:The research of the impact of divorce on kids shows very different results than popular culture suggests:

https://slate.com/technology/2022/07/divorce-bad-for-kids-history.html

Your responsibility is to create a living situation where you can be the best parent possible for your child.

Thank you so much PP for sharing that article. That was an excellent compilation of data. A sample:

In a 2003 paper, Paul Amato of Penn State created an index of overall psychological well-being and concluded that the overlap between adults with and without divorced parents was 90 percent, meaning only about 10 percent of those with divorced parents had more mental health issues and reported lower life satisfaction and happiness than those with married ones. Almost half, 42 percent, exceeded the average well-being score of the married parents sample.

Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences

research please?

it is MUCH more common to hear adults say they wished their parents had not stayed together, than that they wish they had not divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not middle school!

Definitely not middle school unless it’s an abusive situation that needs to end asap.

wrong. it’s not good for a child of any age to live in a toxic, stressed house.

Never. It should be very difficult to divorce.

The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences

Anonymous wrote:18 right as they go away to school. They will almost forget because they have so much going on right in front of them day to day. The only painful reminder will be holidays. My parents did it when I was 17, and that last year of high school was awkward. Also, the great thing about going away to school is it gives your kid the opportunity to stay and take summer and winter classes. That way they really don't have to deal with it until they graduate... Yeah I did that.

Not 18 that is absurd.

Great your kids grew up in a house they knew their parents were unhappy wonderful role model op.

Grow up you failed