I’d be irked if it was a whole day every weekend esp if I had 3 kids, I only have one. Im assuming he steps up and takes over when he gets back or on Saturdays?

You seem to really want this friend to join your husband for sports and lunch, op. Why? You seem a bit too interested in how he spends his time and in what his wife won’t let him do. Strange, I’d be on team wife, maybe she needs or wants him home. Maybe she doesn’t want her husband associating with a family who speaks so ill of her, I know I wouldn’t.

That’s great that you and your husband do what works for you. Sunday is church for us, like another poster, and one thing I love is sitting with my family at church. I certainly wouldn’t give up church time for my husband to go hang out with someone who married a nasty woman, not when he can spend his time with people who like both of us as well as our kids.

I’d be glad you and your husband do what works for you except you seem so smug, I don’t much like you. It’s great you have the money for classes. It’s great you probably have the money for an indoor play space, or can tollerate the cold, or don’t mind your kids being in the cold while you sit in your car and watch them. It’s good you probably have 2 cars. It’s good that your husband comes home in a good mood, not all husbands do, or they view their wife as a nag because “my friends wives don’t (fill in whatever) when in reality, you don’t know what goes on in someone’s home. Men and women emphasize different things when they talk, and will relay things differently. It doesn’t mean anybody’s lying, it just means what isn’t a big deal to a man may be huge to a woman or the other way around. Some men only hear the male perspective and think there is some magical land of wives who don’t nag, will happily wash clothes in the river on a 40 degree day, always thrilled to have their husbands out later then expected, have elementary schoolers who can take themselves to their activities, and on and on.It can suck having your husband gone all day only to have him say “Well, Bob’s wife is happy washing all these dishes by hand”. Or “I just got home, why should I have to” or “give me a minute, I just got home” and the minute lasts for days.

Dial back on the smug, op.

I encourage it, but he’s become such an irritating home body. I encourage boys nights out, boys night at our house… whatever to get him to socialize *on his own*. I’d love if I could register him for an activity and drop him off like the kids.

jsmith123 wrote:My husband and I both have hobbies that we've continued despite having kids. We don't "let" each other have hobbies though, because that implies that we have to ask for permission, and we don't have that type of relationship. That dynamic wouldn't work for me.

Same in my family. We really support each other in individual interests. We have three kids and I have never found it difficult to take care of them by myself.

Anonymous wrote:My DH plays sports with others for a few hours every Sunday morning. I take the kids out of house to play in the morning and go to classes, and we are not home till 5pm. He can play sports and have lunch with them if they want. Dh wants to invite his buddy to join them, but it seems like the wife does not let him out. His friend may come out a few time to join them to play. They have a child together, same age as my youngest one.

I tell DH that he should be thankful that I let him to do his hobby that and I solely take care of kids for the day, lol. It is sometimes tough, but I can manage to take care of 3 kids at the same time. Do you let your spouse out of house to do his/her hobby?

Let them out of the house? No one is a prisoner.

I play music in two bands. My husband is in one of them, and we rehearse in our basement. The other one rehearses on Sunday nights. I also run an open rock jam once a month. Occasionally we have gigs, or I have solo gigs.

We have a young kid. We balance it all.

It’s not about “letting” them do a hobby. It’s agreeing to do childcare solo for whole days at a time every single week so the other parent can just relax all day. So it’s a different question. And as for you “being able” to do it, you really don’t know their situation. Maybe their kids are harder to handle for whatever reason. Maybe you feed your kids whatever crap food you find for sale somewhere and the other mom is cooking all organic stuff from scratch every meal for her kids. Who knows. Don’t be so smug.

Do you have family in town?
I felt a lot differently about this kind of stuff when I would spend some of the time my husband was gone hanging out with my sister or going to visit my grandma, rather than just being one adult alone with multiple small children.