"plus some frozen baguette slices that have been put in the toaster with some brie on top."

Just to clarify, the baguette slices have brie on top, not the toaster...lol.

I sometimes give DD ingredients plain that I put in a dish. Like last night, I cooked pasta. Served it to DD with jarred marinara. Then proceeded to make pasta fritatta for rest of us.

If I'm using lots of veggies in a rice or pasta dish, I prepare DD's plate before adding the tomatoes, bell peppers, etc.

We grill chicken on the outdoor grill every Sunday night year round. Or sometimes steak when we burn out on chicken. I use the left overs for Monday and Tuesday dinner. With the chicken, I will make chicken/steak fajitas in the pan (takes 20 minutes, including slicing steak, an onion and one pepper) and some homemade Mexican rice, microwaved black beans and a big salad on the side. Our picky kid will have a reheated full chicken breast with salad instead, plus some frozen baguette slices that have been put in the toaster with some brie on top.

I use my Ninja Foodi on Wednesday and Thursday night. Again, simple meals. My spouse gave it to me as a gift, and I have come to rely on my Ninja. It is awesome for breaded meats, roasted potatoes (done in ten minutes!) and on and on.

On Friday, we get take out. Weekends are play it by ear.

Anonymous wrote:How busy are your teens? Here’s what I would do if they don’t have daily activities etc. or maybe even if, on a day they are free.

You have 4 people in your family who are old enough to cook, 7 nights.
Nights 1-4 Each person in the family owns 1 night of cooking, they make what they want, allowing for food restrictions not preferences (so, I would take your child’s restrictions but not necessarily your husband’s) If others don’t like what’s cooked, fend for themselves.
5-true fend for yourself
6-carryout/restaurant
7-min cooks one extra night.

To add to this, everyone needs to share what they are making, so you can shop for the week. Buy various fend for yourself items that each person will like.

How busy are your teens? Here’s what I would do if they don’t have daily activities etc. or maybe even if, on a day they are free.

You have 4 people in your family who are old enough to cook, 7 nights.
Nights 1-4 Each person in the family owns 1 night of cooking, they make what they want, allowing for food restrictions not preferences (so, I would take your child’s restrictions but not necessarily your husband’s) If others don’t like what’s cooked, fend for themselves.
5-true fend for yourself
6-carryout/restaurant
7-min cooks one extra night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We do lots of meals with a starch, vegetable, and protein cooked separately. So meatloaf with glazed carrots and mashed potatoes. Mix and match rice, bread, roasted potatoes for starches; roasted cauliflower, steamed broccoli, sautied green beans for veg; pan fried chicken breasts, pot roast, etc for protein..

OP here - this is what we do, except nobody including the teens really likes roasted potatoes (one of the reasons Hello Fresh was kind of a bust, lots of means that rely on roasted potatoes), it’s just that I’m SO FREAKING TIRED of it. I’ve been looking for new marinades lately but even those all seem the same.

I'm that PP, and I hear your tiredness! I am tired, too. One thing that has helped is we order Blue Apron for two meals a week. They are fine, and it takes the weight off me to decide what is for dinner. It just is what it is, and you like it or lump it. For your potato issue, it actually isn't an issue, is it? You and DH can double up on the veggies since he is keto and you are trying to lose weight. You don't need the potatoes, but the teens probably do.

Make a meat, starch, vegetable every night that at least 2 people like. People can make their plates as they want or have a peanut butter sandwich. Stop worrying about what everyone eats or doesn’t eat. Provide heathy food, let them do the rest.

OP I know this won't *really* solve the problem but I have started using the microwave and instant pot so much more and it really makes things faster/hands off.

I do mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, and rice in the microwave. I can do ribs or pulled pork in the instant pot in an hour, hands off. Being able to not stand over the stove helps my brain hate cooking less.

Having a nice bowl for the Microwave (I have the David Chang Anyday ones because I was...influenced) helps but just a glass bowl with a plate on top would be the same darn thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We do lots of meals with a starch, vegetable, and protein cooked separately. So meatloaf with glazed carrots and mashed potatoes. Mix and match rice, bread, roasted potatoes for starches; roasted cauliflower, steamed broccoli, sautied green beans for veg; pan fried chicken breasts, pot roast, etc for protein..

OP here - this is what we do, except nobody including the teens really likes roasted potatoes (one of the reasons Hello Fresh was kind of a bust, lots of means that rely on roasted potatoes), it’s just that I’m SO FREAKING TIRED of it. I’ve been looking for new marinades lately but even those all seem the same.

I'm one of the OPs. So, don't do potatoes. We rarely do potatoes or rice. I do proteins various ways, sometimes roasted, sometimes asian-inspired or marinade and steam a veggie in the microwave. For ex, this week we had keilbasa, ground turkey shepherds pie, chicken marinated in balsamic dressing and rice, and ground beef tacos, always with a microwave steamed vegetable. Sometimes, I do fish or shrimp. I might do chicken teriyaki, homemade chicken nuggets, pesto chicken for the chicken. I might roast or air fry the veggies rather than microwave steam them. My goal is to be the 30-minute gourmet.

I feel your pain. I am always watching what I eat (lean chubby but can also be heavy), husband is tall and thin and eats what he wants, and two older kids, one red meat loving boy and one vegetarian girl.

Things that worked for us included build your own taco or burrito, so dd could put beans, cheese avacado, sour cream, dh could do the same but add meat, ds would load up on the meat and skip the beans, and I would turn mine into a salad with a little meat, a little beans, and none of sour cream, cheese, etc.

I also leaned towards a protein, vegetable and starch (mostly pasta which both kids ate and I did not - so I would serve my bolognese over lettuce or zoodles and they would put it over pasta), same with Sloppy Joe's, they'd have buns I'd have a lettuce wrap.

Anything they could put on pasta I would eat without pasta, and dd would have pasta with cheese, and we'd all have the vegetable.

I also have a ham and bean soup served with crusty bread, where the ham goes in last. I pull some out for dd who has bean soup with crusty bread, while I have ham and bean soup with no bread, and spouse and son eat ham and bean soup with crusty bread.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel: our vegetarian dd left for college last Fall, and there are far fewer nights both kids are home and I am going crazy, just Thanksgiving, Christmas and some of the summer. Their spring breaks are not the same, so for one week I'll be making lots of meat items, and for one week I'll be making all vegetarian items. And when they are both home, even with all the crazy cooking, I am just happy to see them, and for our family to be together!

Anonymous wrote:

Obviously, you don’t need to freeze things into square shapes, but they do stack much more easily in the freezer. This makes it easier to stay organized and not have old stuff creeping around, forgotten in the tundra.

Also, DD was really picky - probably ARFID - when she was younger. Food scaffolding helped a lot to broaden her tastes. It was a very slow process and required a lot of work and diligence to figure out gateway foods and ways to build ‘bridges’ to new foods. My DD wouldn’t eat bread, pasta or rice, for example (textures were too ‘squishy’). So, you start with 1 cm balls of sticky rice coated in sesame seeds to add crunch. Then slowly make them bigger, so that rice:crunch ratio increases. Then change toppings, then remove toppings. Then broaden to rice noodles. Then to wheat-based noodles, etc.

At this stage, it sounds like you are overwhelmed and can’t handle more to-do stuff on your proverbial plate. If your kids are old enough and want to change, see if they’d be willing to try the scaffolding thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What has the fact that you’re obese have to do with anything?

Because I need to be preparing and/or consuming food that is somewhat healthy at this point. Actively restricting calories in an effort to lose weight is challenging because in the past that led to binging behaviors, but I need to make some kind of effort towards healthier food choices for myself. Dealing with everyone’s needs has made it easier to be like “okay I’m just going to eat chicken nuggets that I’m making for the kids anyway.”

You’re using your kids as an excuse. Chicken nuggets for the kids ? They’re teens. They’re old enough to make their own dinners. You explain to them that mom is obese and needs to lose weight as a matter of health. Husband and kids are cooking their own meals so you can focus on what you need to do which is lose weight. They give you a list of what they’ll need for the week, you buy it, they make it to suit their needs. You cook your healthy meals.

We have similar issues. DD is an actively recovering AN/BN and needs crazy calories to keep weight on, including animal meat and fats. DH eats everything, but prefers meat, yet also needs to watch his weight. I’m nearly vegan and post-menopausal, and always hungry because I work out a lot.

My freezer is my friend. I always make extra and save into ‘souper cubes’. Those silicon freezer things. It creates similar, but customized, freezer meals.

For example, if it’s taco night, I make extra of each filling (chicken for DH & DD, seitan+black beans for me), plus enchilada sauce and then turn leftovers into individually-portioned enchiladas. That is at least 3 nights off from cooking for future me.

If I make gumbo, i make the base vegetarian, then portion out 1/3 for me to continue with vegan sausage etc. The remainder is meat-based. Portion out 2-3 souper cubes of each version for freezing. Then continue with more tender veggies/seafood for that night’s dinner. The frozen souper cubes are 90% ready, and just need to be reheated with a few tender veg/seafood additions.

If I make soup, the base is vegetarian. Freeze portions for later and add meat/fish/shrimp as toppings for tonight. You can use shredded roast chicken for the meat eaters; chickpeas or tofu for the vegetarians.

If you do 1 batch cooked freezer meal each week, it will quickly create a bank of quick, low-stress meals for your future self. It does take a bit of advance planning and sometimes reworking recipes, so that you stop and freeze part of them at the right stage. But the actual cooking time isn’t any different. If you do try this, tape finishing instructions to the storage container so that you remember what you need to do/what fresh ingredients need to be added.

Obviously, you need to freeze things into square shapes, but they do stack much more easily in the freezer. This makes it easier to stay organized and not have old stuff creeping around, forgotten in the tundra.

No advice, just totally feeling your pain. It is hard to lose weight/not eat a lot when you have to spend so much time and energy. My son and husband are picky in different ways. I have - more than once - just sat down on the kitchen floor and cried - because making dinner that someone will complain about is so demoralizing. The mental energy trying to come up with meals is exhausting.

I feel like you need to give yourself a solid month off where you cook just for you and everyone else can make peace with what you eat, or help themselves to a variety of frozen meal options from Trader Joe’s.

Once you get a solid enough break, regroup and game plan again. But if you hate cooking and you are exhausted, prioritize yourself. One month of cereal, frozen Indian, salad kits for the other 3 won’t kill anyone. And maybe you’ll lose some weight, get some energy and feel better about tackling this in April.