Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a rough time in Covid but a silver lining has been this: if you let go of the idea of going to a "top" or competitive school, the process is actually easy and fairly stress-free (and you'll get a lot of merit money too). There are a ton of schools with high acceptance rates that are eager to have your kid.

This. The school doesn’t matter as much as what you do once you’re there.

Yes!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a rough time in Covid but a silver lining has been this: if you let go of the idea of going to a "top" or competitive school, the process is actually easy and fairly stress-free (and you'll get a lot of merit money too). There are a ton of schools with high acceptance rates that are eager to have your kid.

+1000

Focus on helping your kid build strengths for handling college, seizing opportunities, figuring out what they want to do with their life, and developing optimism and self-efficacy for their future rather than trying to optimize their admission into selective colleges. Every time they seem to be sucked into the college competition game, return them into thinking about what they want to do and why they want to do it.
Let the chips fall where they may with college admissions, but don't let your kid leave home into a massive financial and energy investment of college without feeling like they have some sense of control, purpose and excitement over their future and some visions for what that might be. Not just pride or disappointment because they got/didn't get some brass ring of college admission. It's very easy to just be good at school and think you need to just continue being good at school--it's harder to make that transition to building a life/career.

It's not either/or. Most kids at selective colleges know what they want and are ready for careers.

It's just jealousy to pretend otherwise.

I didn't say it was either/or--rather "let the chips fall where they may" but prioritize sense of purpose first. I say this advice as my eldest kid who is now a senior at a highly selective college and, like many of his friends there, are feeling a lot of anxiety about life after school. They have been successful so long at school, but they feel vaguely unmoved by future opportunities. Some have good job prospects, some don't know yet. But for both groups the vibe is more like "is this all there is?". What I've learned for my younger is to start addressing purpose earlier and don't let them get sucked into competitive college process at the expense of it. Kids only have so much time/energy and for high-achieving kids the culture is often pushing them just to get into the best college possible--some of which is very much out of their control. And the evidence doesn't show that it makes a huge difference anyway--it's the kid not the school that makes the difference.

You're putting up a false dichotomy. Anyone, regardless of competence and functionality, can have self-doubts (and anxiety, ADHD, depression or whatever else). Also, and this is the most important - some self-doubt is HEALTHY.

Did you see I said it was not either/or?? I said I've learned to prioritize sense of purpose first, competitive college admissions second. So it's not a dichotomy, false or otherwise. Just that, from my experience, I see that the culture puts a lot of pressure on getting into a good college and many kids have to take a ton of their energy optimizing that and don't think deeply about why they want that, what they are going to do with it. Maybe they say "I want to be an x" but that's often based on what's popular, makes money etc. Very few think --what do I really want from college?

My kid sure didn't think too deeply--nor did most of his high achieving high school friends. And I'm not talking about not having self-doubt (I don't know where you got that...), it's actually self-doubt that would help a high school kid see outside the college competition game and not just try to get the best prize at the exclusion of thinking through why and what else they care about. My kid had a high achieving group of HS friends--he and a few others went to highly selective schools and others went to slightly or very less so, either via luck of admissions or desire to save money or other reasons. I think the ones who went to the less selective schools seem more grounded and confident of themselves now--they had to process their future dreams earlier and take more control over their own success. The ones who went to the more selective schools seem to be slightly more riding high on the 'I got the prize, my future is assured" and were less inclined to do the thinking. Just my experience, of course, but this is a thread on "lessons learned." Given that much of college admissions is out of kids' control, that the student has more impact on their future than the college, I think it has value.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay $85 for the UNC-CH app unless you’re a recruited athlete, a legacy with a consistent family donation pattern, or a very high stats student from certain “top” publics or elite privates.

Apply to Pitt as soon as the app opens in early Aug. it’s a big confidence boost to have that first acceptance in your back pocket.

Get supplemental recommendations because they add another dimension to your application.

Do the tours, follow on Instagram, Zoom etc for the schools that track demonstrated interest (see CDS data to confirm)

Are these the two recommendations from teachers or are you talking about additional recommendations from people you know, etc. over and above the school counselor plus two teachers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a rough time in Covid but a silver lining has been this: if you let go of the idea of going to a "top" or competitive school, the process is actually easy and fairly stress-free (and you'll get a lot of merit money too). There are a ton of schools with high acceptance rates that are eager to have your kid.

+1000

Focus on helping your kid build strengths for handling college, seizing opportunities, figuring out what they want to do with their life, and developing optimism and self-efficacy for their future rather than trying to optimize their admission into selective colleges. Every time they seem to be sucked into the college competition game, return them into thinking about what they want to do and why they want to do it.
Let the chips fall where they may with college admissions, but don't let your kid leave home into a massive financial and energy investment of college without feeling like they have some sense of control, purpose and excitement over their future and some visions for what that might be. Not just pride or disappointment because they got/didn't get some brass ring of college admission. It's very easy to just be good at school and think you need to just continue being good at school--it's harder to make that transition to building a life/career.

It's not either/or. Most kids at selective colleges know what they want and are ready for careers.

It's just jealousy to pretend otherwise.

I didn't say it was either/or--rather "let the chips fall where they may" but prioritize sense of purpose first. I say this advice as my eldest kid who is now a senior at a highly selective college and, like many of his friends there, are feeling a lot of anxiety about life after school. They have been successful so long at school, but they feel vaguely unmoved by future opportunities. Some have good job prospects, some don't know yet. But for both groups the vibe is more like "is this all there is?". What I've learned for my younger is to start addressing purpose earlier and don't let them get sucked into competitive college process at the expense of it. Kids only have so much time/energy and for high-achieving kids the culture is often pushing them just to get into the best college possible--some of which is very much out of their control. And the evidence doesn't show that it makes a huge difference anyway--it's the kid not the school that makes the difference.

I agree. Many kids choose a college and major based on “prestige” without any thought about what their life will be like after graduation. Most kids in this area have been on the achievement treadmill since pre-K just because that’s expected and what smart kids are supposed to do. Have your kids focus on doing what they Love and what makes them happy. The money will follow. Take chances and try new things while you’re young and unburdened by responsibility.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay $85 for the UNC-CH app unless you’re a recruited athlete, a legacy with a consistent family donation pattern, or a very high stats student from certain “top” publics or elite privates.

Apply to Pitt as soon as the app opens in early Aug. it’s a big confidence boost to have that first acceptance in your back pocket.

Get supplemental recommendations because they add another dimension to your application.

Do the tours, follow on Instagram, Zoom etc for the schools that track demonstrated interest (see CDS data to confirm)

True about UNC. I let my kid waste the money anyway.

What schools do they draw from? They have never accepted a student from our school. The school is mostly AA so I wonder about that.

UNC draws from all schools they just have a low rate of OOS applications they accept it's like 12%. Also athletes take up a huge portion of that 12%

Anonymous wrote:Do schools track whether you opened their emails BEFORE you submit an app, or only after?

once your kid adds
A college to the dashboard in common app even if they have not actually applied yet- the mail starts coming in full!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay $85 for the UNC-CH app unless you’re a recruited athlete, a legacy with a consistent family donation pattern, or a very high stats student from certain “top” publics or elite privates.

Apply to Pitt as soon as the app opens in early Aug. it’s a big confidence boost to have that first acceptance in your back pocket.

Get supplemental recommendations because they add another dimension to your application.

Do the tours, follow on Instagram, Zoom etc for the schools that track demonstrated interest (see CDS data to confirm)

True about UNC. I let my kid waste the money anyway.

What schools do they draw from? They have never accepted a student from our school. The school is mostly AA so I wonder about that.

I’m sorry, that is unfortunate.

They love their “pipeline” privates, sometimes but not always, aligning with Morehead Scholars’
They love MD magnets (e.g. Blair) and MD or DC privates, VA privates not so much
I don’t know about DC public high schools.
Only certain “pipeline” public high schools in Virginia.
They hate LCPS (grade inflation? Maybe)
They’ve been using this admissions strategy for decades. I guess it works for them!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thought this might be helpful for parents of Juniors or younger kids:

1. Getting mail/email from schools means nothing. They are just buying names and trying to get applications.

2. When building a balanced college list, make sure to check acceptance rates for your kid's major, not just the overall rate.

3. Schools with both Early Action and Early Decision will defer many qualified candidates on Early action - be prepared for this

4. Coming from a magnet school can be a disadvantage due to high GPA bands on the school profile and competition with other magnet students

5. Get as much as possible done over the summer before senior year. This includes the main Common App essay and the activities and honors list

6. Use the Common Data set for schools to figure out which ones on your kid's list value demonstrated interest and make sure to visit those if possible

7. A 4.0 and perfect SAT/ACT scores won't be enough to get into the most highly selective schools or even the next set down in some cases. It's close to a lottery unless your kid has done something super spectacular (think student member of the board) or is a recruited athlete. There are just way too many kids for too few spots in schools that everyone wants to go to.

8. Make sure your kid reads their email regularly once they submit their applications.

9. The more selective the school, the more essays there are. My kid ended up having to write about 20 essays. Unless your kid is a writer, this will take a lot of time.

10. Find a school with a high acceptance rate and an early decision notification date to get one acceptance under your kid's belt. This takes a bit of the pressure off.

I think you meant "early action" for #10, not "early Decision". Early Decision is binding.

I meant a school that provides decisions early.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay $85 for the UNC-CH app unless you’re a recruited athlete, a legacy with a consistent family donation pattern, or a very high stats student from certain “top” publics or elite privates.

Apply to Pitt as soon as the app opens in early Aug. it’s a big confidence boost to have that first acceptance in your back pocket.

Get supplemental recommendations because they add another dimension to your application.

Do the tours, follow on Instagram, Zoom etc for the schools that track demonstrated interest (see CDS data to confirm)

Counselor here. No on the supplemental recs unless the university specifically requests an additional rec.

Worked for my kid 🤷 after ED deferral…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a rough time in Covid but a silver lining has been this: if you let go of the idea of going to a "top" or competitive school, the process is actually easy and fairly stress-free (and you'll get a lot of merit money too). There are a ton of schools with high acceptance rates that are eager to have your kid.

+1000

Focus on helping your kid build strengths for handling college, seizing opportunities, figuring out what they want to do with their life, and developing optimism and self-efficacy for their future rather than trying to optimize their admission into selective colleges. Every time they seem to be sucked into the college competition game, return them into thinking about what they want to do and why they want to do it.
Let the chips fall where they may with college admissions, but don't let your kid leave home into a massive financial and energy investment of college without feeling like they have some sense of control, purpose and excitement over their future and some visions for what that might be. Not just pride or disappointment because they got/didn't get some brass ring of college admission. It's very easy to just be good at school and think you need to just continue being good at school--it's harder to make that transition to building a life/career.

It's not either/or. Most kids at selective colleges know what they want and are ready for careers.

It's just jealousy to pretend otherwise.

I didn't say it was either/or--rather "let the chips fall where they may" but prioritize sense of purpose first. I say this advice as my eldest kid who is now a senior at a highly selective college and, like many of his friends there, are feeling a lot of anxiety about life after school. They have been successful so long at school, but they feel vaguely unmoved by future opportunities. Some have good job prospects, some don't know yet. But for both groups the vibe is more like "is this all there is?". What I've learned for my younger is to start addressing purpose earlier and don't let them get sucked into competitive college process at the expense of it. Kids only have so much time/energy and for high-achieving kids the culture is often pushing them just to get into the best college possible--some of which is very much out of their control. And the evidence doesn't show that it makes a huge difference anyway--it's the kid not the school that makes the difference.

You're putting up a false dichotomy. Anyone, regardless of competence and functionality, can have self-doubts (and anxiety, ADHD, depression or whatever else). Also, and this is the most important - some self-doubt is HEALTHY.

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a rough time in Covid but a silver lining has been this: if you let go of the idea of going to a "top" or competitive school, the process is actually easy and fairly stress-free (and you'll get a lot of merit money too). There are a ton of schools with high acceptance rates that are eager to have your kid.

This. My son is a good student but at a private school. His GPA when he applied was probably a 3.1 with a weighted GPA of 3.4. He has gotten in everywhere he applied because he chose schools he could get into. He has gotten great merit money from some good schools. None of it was as bad as I expected. Ditto on the do as much as possible before senior year starts. He hit submit on his applications on October 8th which was a huge relief to get it done so early.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay $85 for the UNC-CH app unless you’re a recruited athlete, a legacy with a consistent family donation pattern, or a very high stats student from certain “top” publics or elite privates.

Apply to Pitt as soon as the app opens in early Aug. it’s a big confidence boost to have that first acceptance in your back pocket.

Get supplemental recommendations because they add another dimension to your application.

Do the tours, follow on Instagram, Zoom etc for the schools that track demonstrated interest (see CDS data to confirm)

If a CS major, do not expect to get any merit. Engineering and A&S, yes, but NOT CS.

Do you mean at Pitt or do you mean anywhere?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a rough time in Covid but a silver lining has been this: if you let go of the idea of going to a "top" or competitive school, the process is actually easy and fairly stress-free (and you'll get a lot of merit money too). There are a ton of schools with high acceptance rates that are eager to have your kid.

+1000

Focus on helping your kid build strengths for handling college, seizing opportunities, figuring out what they want to do with their life, and developing optimism and self-efficacy for their future rather than trying to optimize their admission into selective colleges. Every time they seem to be sucked into the college competition game, return them into thinking about what they want to do and why they want to do it.
Let the chips fall where they may with college admissions, but don't let your kid leave home into a massive financial and energy investment of college without feeling like they have some sense of control, purpose and excitement over their future and some visions for what that might be. Not just pride or disappointment because they got/didn't get some brass ring of college admission. It's very easy to just be good at school and think you need to just continue being good at school--it's harder to make that transition to building a life/career.

It's not either/or. Most kids at selective colleges know what they want and are ready for careers.

It's just jealousy to pretend otherwise.

I didn't say it was either/or--rather "let the chips fall where they may" but prioritize sense of purpose first. I say this advice as my eldest kid who is now a senior at a highly selective college and, like many of his friends there, are feeling a lot of anxiety about life after school. They have been successful so long at school, but they feel vaguely unmoved by future opportunities. Some have good job prospects, some don't know yet. But for both groups the vibe is more like "is this all there is?". What I've learned for my younger is to start addressing purpose earlier and don't let them get sucked into competitive college process at the expense of it. Kids only have so much time/energy and for high-achieving kids the culture is often pushing them just to get into the best college possible--some of which is very much out of their control. And the evidence doesn't show that it makes a huge difference anyway--it's the kid not the school that makes the difference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a rough time in Covid but a silver lining has been this: if you let go of the idea of going to a "top" or competitive school, the process is actually easy and fairly stress-free (and you'll get a lot of merit money too). There are a ton of schools with high acceptance rates that are eager to have your kid.

+1000

Focus on helping your kid build strengths for handling college, seizing opportunities, figuring out what they want to do with their life, and developing optimism and self-efficacy for their future rather than trying to optimize their admission into selective colleges. Every time they seem to be sucked into the college competition game, return them into thinking about what they want to do and why they want to do it.
Let the chips fall where they may with college admissions, but don't let your kid leave home into a massive financial and energy investment of college without feeling like they have some sense of control, purpose and excitement over their future and some visions for what that might be. Not just pride or disappointment because they got/didn't get some brass ring of college admission. It's very easy to just be good at school and think you need to just continue being good at school--it's harder to make that transition to building a life/career.

It's not either/or. Most kids at selective colleges know what they want and are ready for careers.

It's just jealousy to pretend otherwise.

Most kids at non-selective colleges do, too.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t pay $85 for the UNC-CH app unless you’re a recruited athlete, a legacy with a consistent family donation pattern, or a very high stats student from certain “top” publics or elite privates.

Apply to Pitt as soon as the app opens in early Aug. it’s a big confidence boost to have that first acceptance in your back pocket.

Get supplemental recommendations because they add another dimension to your application.

Do the tours, follow on Instagram, Zoom etc for the schools that track demonstrated interest (see CDS data to confirm)

If a CS major, do not expect to get any merit. Engineering and A&S, yes, but NOT CS.