Our rule is no social media until second semester senior year AND post-grad plans determined. It has really kept our kids out of so much of the drama and social affliction that many preteens/teens experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I chuckle with each of the authoritarian posts above. You are fooling yourselves. Your kids know how to get around all of your rules and restrictions. Have the open conversations, discuss the risks and rewards of online engagement, and be there to talk through the challenges. Ultimately the goal is for resilient children who can assess their virtual and real environments to the best of their abilities - and that takes both clear guidelines and conversation. It also takes modeling healthy online management ourselves.

So, your answer is "don't even try?"

Nope. Not doing that. I am well aware my kids can do just whatever after they leave for college at 18. Drugs, underage binge-drinking, whatever - even internet porn and all the really dark things available on the web now (TikTok, Snap, and Reddit offer them). They are not doing those things under my roof.

If you feel different, give your kids all those things early; I wish you luck with that strategy.

My house, my rules, and as long as my name is on the bill, it is MY phone, which I let them use (with conditions).

DP. The poster literally explained what they do. They’re opining that the “my way or the highway” approach is short-sighted and doesn’t help kids learn how to use social media responsibly and thoughtfully.

Anonymous wrote:I chuckle with each of the authoritarian posts above. You are fooling yourselves. Your kids know how to get around all of your rules and restrictions. Have the open conversations, discuss the risks and rewards of online engagement, and be there to talk through the challenges. Ultimately the goal is for resilient children who can assess their virtual and real environments to the best of their abilities - and that takes both clear guidelines and conversation. It also takes modeling healthy online management ourselves.

So, your answer is "don't even try?"

Nope. Not doing that. I am well aware my kids can do just whatever after they leave for college at 18. Drugs, underage binge-drinking, whatever - even internet porn and all the really dark things available on the web now (TikTok, Snap, and Reddit offer them). They are not doing those things under my roof.

If you feel different, give your kids all those things early; I wish you luck with that strategy.

My house, my rules, and as long as my name is on the bill, it is MY phone, which I let them use (with conditions).

I chuckle with each of the authoritarian posts above. You are fooling yourselves. Your kids know how to get around all of your rules and restrictions. Have the open conversations, discuss the risks and rewards of online engagement, and be there to talk through the challenges. Ultimately the goal is for resilient children who can assess their virtual and real environments to the best of their abilities - and that takes both clear guidelines and conversation. It also takes modeling healthy online management ourselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bought the phone and she had to agree to no social media in order to take possession of it. She knows if she misuses it, I take the phone back.

Same here. My rule when I gave the phone was no social media. And, it is my phone - and my kid has the opportunity to use it - but I am not snooping if I look at it. It's my phone.

The phone is also in my bedroom from 9pm - 7am every night.

Anonymous wrote:I bought the phone and she had to agree to no social media in order to take possession of it. She knows if she misuses it, I take the phone back.

Same here. My rule when I gave the phone was no social media. And, it is my phone - and my kid has the opportunity to use it - but I am not snooping if I look at it. It's my phone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid wanted to create a reddit account and I told him no, that place is a cesspool. A couple of days later, he came home from school and told me a friend had tried to join in a conversation on reddit and "You're right, Mom, reddit is a cesspool."

I'm sorry about his friend being the recipient of verbal abuse from strangers, but he listens to my middle-aged mom takes on stuff.

No it isn’t. I love Reddit. I can obsess about intricacies of my favorite TV shoes and books. If you stay out of the known toxic forums, people are generally fine.

You are an adult.

You are also free to cruise porn, read racist hate literature, follow extremist groups, join an INCEL group, learn all about marijuana, fentanyl, hallucinogens, print guns on your 3D printer, order marijuana vapes to your house, etc.,

ALL of that is available on Reddit. NONE of it is appropriate for our teens.

Keep teens off Reddit. And above all NO TIKTOK !

Watch the Social Dilemma with your child. It is eye opening. My DD was disgusted to learn how tech companies design social media not just to be addictive but to predict and control behavior. She believes that by not getting sucked in to social media regardless of what her friends are doing she is beating the game.

Anonymous wrote:Learn from my mistake BTW on the whole limiting screen time on apps. They work around that my logging on using the browser. So they can have a tik tok account and you’d have no idea. Teachers had to school me on this.

+1

Logging on with a browser is how I get on a few of my accounts as I don't want another app on my phone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid wanted to create a reddit account and I told him no, that place is a cesspool. A couple of days later, he came home from school and told me a friend had tried to join in a conversation on reddit and "You're right, Mom, reddit is a cesspool."

I'm sorry about his friend being the recipient of verbal abuse from strangers, but he listens to my middle-aged mom takes on stuff.

No it isn’t. I love Reddit. I can obsess about intricacies of my favorite TV shoes and books. If you stay out of the known toxic forums, people are generally fine.

NP Kids don't know that and they are more impressionable.
Reddit is like a very large metropolis. Good places and dark alleys too.

Anonymous wrote:once kids hit 15/16- can’t do much.

Not that young, but once they hit senior year you’ve got to loosen the leash and hope the years of enforced discipline will pay off.

(Though, I do secretly hope my DD will be a commuter student in college! My DH was, and it would have been better for me too.)

Anonymous wrote:My kid wanted to create a reddit account and I told him no, that place is a cesspool. A couple of days later, he came home from school and told me a friend had tried to join in a conversation on reddit and "You're right, Mom, reddit is a cesspool."

I'm sorry about his friend being the recipient of verbal abuse from strangers, but he listens to my middle-aged mom takes on stuff.

No it isn’t. I love Reddit. I can obsess about intricacies of my favorite TV shoes and books. If you stay out of the known toxic forums, people are generally fine.

Anonymous wrote:once kids hit 15/16- can’t do much.

May as well kick them out of the house at that point if that's your attitude.

I didn't give them a smartphone. And we have lots of conversations about what they may be seeing online from their friends.

once kids hit 15/16- can’t do much.