Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hadn't really thought about it, but i guess i had a nervous breakdown when DS had undiagnosed PANDAS and he morphed into a totally different, violent, angry, dissociated person who couldn't attend school. Dealing with his day to day severe adhd and social challenges is pretty easy compared to that, and probably doesn't take any more mental energy or time than parents who have kids deeply involved in extracurriculars. But yeah, OP it's remarkable what we get through.

Sorry, but this is just not true -- time, maybe. But mental lead and energy? Totally different story to shuttle your kid to continue thriving athletically versus worry he/she will not make it period.

I'm the PP you're responding to, and i'm not sure why you're challenging my experience based on my own son. My statement above was that dealing with HIS day to day SN is not more time consuming than parents dealing with NT kids with tons of activities. That's my experience, and it absolutely is true (and has been echoed by others on this forum over the years). When he had PANDAS, things were excruciating. Severe adhd and social challenges? He's properly medicated, we make sure no one in our household is overextended, and because he's socially really off from other kids, he's not doing much in the way of hanging with friends or extracurriculars. He requires some daily oversight to attend to his adhd, make sure his homework is done, etc, but he will definitely go to a good college (with supports from us), and the time i spend on him is less than my friend spends on her kid who is super into basketball but NT. And having gone through PANDAS, where i spent hours every day reading every article on brain tumors, late onset severe autism, epilepsy, mania, bipolar and every other thing i could possibly think of that might explain what was happening, yes, i can confirm that i'm not losing too much sleep over his severe adhd and social challenges, because this is nothing compared to what i went through before. Again, my original post made clear this was my experience with my son, and i never said anything about anyone else's experience.

Op,

Cheers and hugs to you and pps!

After drop off or the bus, I would cry on my drive into work many mornings a week. Sometimes sitting in the parking lot to compose myself. Incredible anxiety over so much related to my DC. Every phone call from school or aftercare. Chasing down meds and appts. and evaluations. Forever plugging holes in a dam so to speak. I have just one child and it was all consuming. Many trip to my doctor for support and medication as appropriate. Was extremely blessed to have an excellent caring and understanding boss and set of co-workers as part of my support system.

Anonymous wrote:I hadn't really thought about it, but i guess i had a nervous breakdown when DS had undiagnosed PANDAS and he morphed into a totally different, violent, angry, dissociated person who couldn't attend school. Dealing with his day to day severe adhd and social challenges is pretty easy compared to that, and probably doesn't take any more mental energy or time than parents who have kids deeply involved in extracurriculars. But yeah, OP it's remarkable what we get through.

Sorry, but this is just not true -- time, maybe. But mental lead and energy? Totally different story to shuttle your kid to continue thriving athletically versus worry he/she will not make it period.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel better op, I did in fact have a nervous breakdown

I am so sorry. I hope you are better now. What were the symptoms? May I ask what sort of help you got?

2nd 'nervous breakdown ditto' poster here - Panic attacks, depression, burnout, barely could move through the workday without panic. Ended up in a partial hospitalization program - 4 hours a day of individual therapy, group therapy, med management, etc. Helped immensely.

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. There’s one thing after another. We keep afloat with parent coaching and marriage counseling. Probably need to join an elder care support group soon too.

If you find a helpful elder care group could you pls come back and post it? That is a huge additional source of stress at the moment for me.

Solidarity to all. I keep the mantra "fall down 7 times get up 8" in mind but so many things at once is hard and isolating too.

Hope your kiddo and DH feel better soon, OP.

Am I having a nervous breakdown or is it depression? Does a nervous breakdown have time parameters?

My oldest was the first with SN. He's now 20 and on a good path. He lives at home, attends community college (can't say enough good things about it), now has a driver's license and a part time job. Yet, he still requires a lot of support. I don't do his school work for but I'm like a tutor/advisor/coach - yes, helping him to learn to help himself is an investment but I'm so very tired. My DD is a senior and is NT but her college essays usually revolved around having brothers with SN, a father with ADHD/depression and a mother with reduced bandwidth for her. DD isn't angry and says she doesn't feel neglected/overlooked but, damn, those essays were hard to read.

My youngest is in high school and has more significant needs. I can definitely see that the school system battles/interventions have made a huge difference for him but I feel worn out. I feel like I'm not doing as well for him as I did his older brother. My diet is crap, I've gained 40 lbs over the last 10 years and just want to stay home and escape into a book.

I hadn't really thought about it, but i guess i had a nervous breakdown when DS had undiagnosed PANDAS and he morphed into a totally different, violent, angry, dissociated person who couldn't attend school. Dealing with his day to day severe adhd and social challenges is pretty easy compared to that, and probably doesn't take any more mental energy or time than parents who have kids deeply involved in extracurriculars. But yeah, OP it's remarkable what we get through.

Honestly, this is why I meditate. It took me a very long time to learn that my thoughts and emotions aren’t me, they are just tools to use to make the best decisions, and I only learned that through meditation. Now I’m more aware of all the signals my mind and body give me when I need a break, and I take them seriously instead of just powering through them to get one more task done. I can’t help others if I haven’t helped myself first.

OP, I am definitely almost there. Thanks for this post! I sit and cry at moments and suddenly realize that my appetite is suffering too....is this depression I ask myself. I also lost interest in things I enjoyed. I know these are all the signs I am burned out, because I am behavioral health professional, making it more difficult to not try and and figure it out on my own. I do feel guilt when I occasionally fantasize about my single life with no kids. The worse thing was sometimes feeling lonely. I wouldn't trade my DC for anything though as he is so special in many ways, and it is more so others response or lack of support for him that gets me down. Hang in there in there all.....a quote that gets me grounded is "when it rains the sun is shining somewhere."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel better op, I did in fact have a nervous breakdown

+1

NP. I don’t know if I have or have not had a nervous breakdown, or if I just have them monthly, or I am just on the verge every other day. Can someone who has had one describe what that looks like?

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel better op, I did in fact have a nervous breakdown

+1

Yup.

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel better op, I did in fact have a nervous breakdown

Ditto.

Per Dr Google, I may be in the middle of one right now. Yet, I keep it moving the best that I can. It's hard OP.
I'm tired all of the time. Sending you hugs and prayers for peace.

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel better op, I did in fact have a nervous breakdown

I am so sorry. I hope you are better now. What were the symptoms? May I ask what sort of help you got?