Anonymous wrote:My 12yo (almost 13) DD takes baths every week. She says she doesn't like showers because they are "less relaxing". She loves bath bombs, uses them often, and sometimes will read on her waterproof Kindle in the bath. Is this weird? Her younger sister only takes showers. It came up when I was chatting with mom friends and a lot of them gave me a look when I mentioned it.

Do I force her to start taking showers or just let her be?

My mom only took baths her entire life. I probably took baths until 13 or so and stopped because showers took less time.

Unless it interferes with her time management, or until we start having serious water restrictions, I'd let it go as a self-care measure. Life is stressful enough. Sounds like she's found a great way to relax, which we all need.

I never understand why parents post things like this. What is the possible harm of taking a bath? Why would you force a shower? I don’t understand your reasoning at all.

And she smells ok? It’s not the baths that are an issue, it’s the once a week. Teenagers/late tweens are smelly and need to wash their bodies with soap daily.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does she wash her hair?

Bathing once a week isn’t enough at that age unless she’s entirely sedentary.

Massages conditioner, then uses loofah to apply and scrub shampoo, lays down to wash it out.

I’m 50+ and wash my hair while bathing. Humans have done it this way for centuries.

As long as her hair is clean and no body odor, we don’t care the frequency or shower vs bath.

It’s also easy and cleaner to take a quick shower, then relax in the bath. Or do the Japanese ofuro thing.

My 12 yo son takes a bath sometimes too

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not a problem and I don't understand why you're making it one.

She’s not saying she likes to take a bath every week. That’s normal. She’s saying she only bathes once per week, period, and that’s in filthy water.

So yeah, that’s definitely a problem.

I don't think she's saying that. She's saying she takes a bath once a week but we don't know if she showers on other days.

My guess is the kid is showering most days and taking a bath instead of a shower once a week. Because at 12, the kid would be far enough into puberty that otherwise she'd noticeably smell if she was only bathing once a week. And that's a different problem than whether she takes baths or shower.

It sounds like OP's friends were just judging the fact that her 12 year old takes baths at all, which is actually a common judgment because a lot of people are weirdly grossed out by baths.

Anonymous wrote:I would install a handheld shower head (if there is not one already). And tell her she needs to rinse her body and hair after the tub drains. Rinsing in dirty water is not going to really get her clean, especially once she hits puberty and has more oil on her skin and hair. Also, teach her how to wash her hair. Shampoo first, rinse, conditioner, rinse. Maybe buy her a head scrub device, because a loofah is not meant for hair (maybe you just used the wrong term).

This, though I would suggest she rinse off and wash her hair before her bath. Then her bathwater will be clean. That's what we used to do with our DD when she was still taking baths most days -- essentially a sponge bath while standing in the tub to wash hair and body and rinse, then put the plug in and fill the bath with water.

I took baths a lot as a kid, and definitely preferred them to showers. I still took showers, because it's not realistic to take a bath everyday in a house with one bathroom and 6 people. But if I had a choice, I took a bath, and I could wash my hair in the bath, too.

I think it's fine, and I also think your daughter's personal grooming and hygiene habits are her business, not anyone else's. Does she get clean? If yes, who cares how? Your mom "friends" are being judgmental for no reason and I would care at all what they think of this situation. If I had a dollar for every time another parent thought that something my kid did, or that I did with regards to my kid, was "weird" or "atypical" or "not how they'd do it," we wouldn't need a 529 account.

Anonymous wrote:This is not a problem and I don't understand why you're making it one.

She’s not saying she likes to take a bath every week. That’s normal. She’s saying she only bathes once per week, period, and that’s in filthy water.

So yeah, that’s definitely a problem.

And what will she do on her period?

OP this makes no sense. Your daughter is bathing herself only once every week, and that is a bath and not a shower, and that is a bath in filthy water including shampoo and conditioner in the wrong order, and then she doesn’t even rinse off the filthy water?

I mean this kindly OP but did anyone ever show or teach you proper hygiene as a kid? Because you’re not doing a great job teaching it to your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does she wash her hair?

Bathing once a week isn’t enough at that age unless she’s entirely sedentary.

Massages conditioner, then uses loofah to apply and scrub shampoo, lays down to wash it out.

WTF?

I would install a handheld shower head (if there is not one already). And tell her she needs to rinse her body and hair after the tub drains. Rinsing in dirty water is not going to really get her clean, especially once she hits puberty and has more oil on her skin and hair. Also, teach her how to wash her hair. Shampoo first, rinse, conditioner, rinse. Maybe buy her a head scrub device, because a loofah is not meant for hair (maybe you just used the wrong term).

This is not a problem and I don't understand why you're making it one.