Anonymous wrote:I had a first cousin once removed who did this, had an accident and a passenger who was one of his friend’s died. Awful tragedy. Devastating for the community. 1st cousin once removed went to jail. Financial hardship for his family. You need to make a real effort to make your kid realize how serious this is.

This is the kind of thing I’m envisioning – even with no death, the kid could still bankrupt the family with her stupidity.

I had a first cousin once removed who did this, had an accident and a passenger who was one of his friend’s died. Awful tragedy. Devastating for the community. 1st cousin once removed went to jail. Financial hardship for his family. You need to make a real effort to make your kid realize how serious this is.

Anonymous wrote:Her drivers licence was delayed til she can afford her own car and insurance.

No discussion.

And I would have had her arrested.

Yes I would have.

Absolutely to the bolded. She can walk to school until the end of HS. I don’t understand how anyone would think this is not a huge deal.

When I had my permit I was tasked with going to pick up and drop off my grandparents 1.5 miles away (I guess only technically illegal for 1/2 of each trip). This was in the 90s Northern VA, in a residential area. So stupid of my parents.

You need to keep your keys on you and reorient her to the bus for a good while after she gets her papers.

She has her whole life to drive to work. And now she gets to enjoy not driving to school a little while longer.

Anonymous wrote:What do you think is the appropriate punishment? How else could she have gotten to school?

She could have walked.

You ground her for a month. Sports and school only. No electronics, no going out with friends, nothing. Simple.

What do you think is the appropriate punishment? How else could she have gotten to school?

get a steering wheel lock and leave the car wherever you want.

Teens make stupid decisions. A lot. I'm sure you never thought your teen would go searching for a spare car key in your office. Obviously there needs to consequences (and a better hiding spot for the spare key lol). I'd definitely delay getting the drivers license, but as that isn't happening right now anyways I would add a few days of grounding as well. She needs an "in the moment" one.

So many judgy people who are probably helicopters around their children. Yep, I also drove before I had my license, but not my parents car. It was definitely stupid and I'm lucky nothing bad happened. My parents would NEVER suspect I'd do something like that. I'm a "ggodie 2 shoes" who has never smoked and never done drugs. I was never in trouble either, but I still made stupid mistakes. Everyone does (and if they tell you otherwise they're lying or never spent more than 2 minutes away from their parents).

Have you talked to her father about it? Are there any responsible adults in your home?

Anonymous wrote:Her drivers licence was delayed til she can afford her own car and insurance.

No discussion.

And I would have had her arrested.

Yes I would have.

This exactly, OP. Now her consequences would be mild, compared to later when she’ll get put away for many years for doing the same thing to a boyfriend or whomever. She obviously believes she’s entitled to do whatever she wants without consequences. Sounds like she doesn’t have her father at home. BTDT.

Anonymous wrote:She took the spare key that I keep in my home office. Will definitely hide the keys from now on.
Oh, and she normally walks to school, we live close by.

I am shaking my head at some of you posters.

Meanwhile, my children aren’t taking my car without permission or no license. But you go and “shake your head.”

Anonymous wrote:She took the spare key that I keep in my home office. Will definitely hide the keys from now on.
Oh, and she normally walks to school, we live close by.

I am shaking my head at some of you posters.

And we are shaking our heads at you.

Wow I’m probably seen as a lax parent on a lot of issues but this would come with a huge consequence if it were my kid. Big delay in getting drivers test scheduled. Driving is a privilege and she just showed you she’s happy to break the law so she loses that privilege for awhile. 3 month delay? I dunno, but more than a few weeks.

She took the spare key that I keep in my home office. Will definitely hide the keys from now on.
Oh, and she normally walks to school, we live close by.

I am shaking my head at some of you posters.