Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 17:37     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.


So she’s never going to live on her own?


Why should she? She has already lived away from home through undergrad and grad.


But was she supporting herself? I agree with pps that having that time when you are full-time employed and living independently is important before living together/marriage.


Let’s see…no, she did not earn money during HS by doing a paying job, as she was always busy with internships and volunteer work. In college she got a generous merit scholarship so I think of it as supporting herself. (Even though we had saved for her college, we had to pay only a very small amount). She made some money in paid internships in college that she used for traveling as well as opened up a sandbox brokerage account.

She is in a high paying career path and quite aware about what she wants in a spouse, in her career and her family life. Economic emancipation is important for her above all. Mama has not raised a fool. But, I understand that there is a cultural component to it too.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 17:23     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.



Women I know who moved from their parents house to a joint marital house regret it deeply. It made a few stay in marriages for too long bc they were afraid of living alone, and even those with happy marriages missed the independence. Some things are worth paying for.


The women you know is not us. Good try.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 17:19     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.


That's odd. She needs to be on her own between parental and marital homes.


No. I don’t agree, This is a misguided American thinking and no one around the world subscribes to it. It mires young people in unnecessary stress and financial struggle.

You must set your kids on a path to economic stability. It will take them years to save that much money that they will save in a few years living with you. And you are not exactly saving any substantial amount if they do not live with you. You are already paying your mortgage and utilities regardless if they stay with you or not.

The money they save and invest for their retirement and their kids college will enable them to meet their financial goals with very little upfront investment thanks to the power of compounding.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 17:15     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.


So she’s never going to live on her own?


Why should she? She has already lived away from home through undergrad and grad.


But was she supporting herself? I agree with pps that having that time when you are full-time employed and living independently is important before living together/marriage.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 17:12     Subject: 3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:Just be direct and tell them they meed to experience independent living and you need to downsize.


You don't even have to downsize, just say you are ready to be empty-nesters.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 17:11     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:My DS will be moving in May '23 after three years of staying with us from college graduation. He has a good high paying job with 300K in savings and we do not charge rent, food, utilities, car insurance, cell phone, etc...We have a guest house next to the main house so he stays there and has privacy so it works out. He will be moving to Charlotte NC in May to accept a new position in the same company. We will give him 400K so that he will be able to purchase a new home in Charlotte without having to get a loan. We will also buy him a new Toyota RAV4 to send him off his successful launch in life. Three years is a good time to leave.


That is not OP's situation but thanks for sharing all the details.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 17:01     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:Charge rent and up the rent every 6 months until they move out.


Really, shame on such parents. Unless you cannot afford to feed them and they are unemployed and not launching?

For me having kids who are in post grad education or in a career path earning money is the definition of launching.

I will always support my kids and their families in terms of letting them live with me rent-free.



Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 16:58     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:My DS will be moving in May '23 after three years of staying with us from college graduation. He has a good high paying job with 300K in savings and we do not charge rent, food, utilities, car insurance, cell phone, etc...We have a guest house next to the main house so he stays there and has privacy so it works out. He will be moving to Charlotte NC in May to accept a new position in the same company. We will give him 400K so that he will be able to purchase a new home in Charlotte without having to get a loan. We will also buy him a new Toyota RAV4 to send him off his successful launch in life. Three years is a good time to leave.


This is good planning.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 16:57     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.


So she’s never going to live on her own?


I don't even know where you get that from

- np


Well, presumably she will move from her parents house to a house she shares with her husband - so never alone.


Maybe she did in college? No matter, if she’s happy, who are you to judge her?? Weirdo.


It's important for people to live on their own, budget, be independent.


First, must go to college and get a degree that will get her a good job. Next, earn enough to save for retirement, her yet unborn kids college, savings etc, have employable skills. Budget happens naturally when you have savings and investment goals. can she cook, clean, maintain her car, exercise, make good decisions, steer clear from men who do not have motivation? Aye.
Is she mentally, physically, socially, financially thriving being at home? for sure. But, we will forever be her parents. I have a DD, and I am always going to mitigate whatever inequities she faces in this world to the best of my abilities. So, she gets empowered by investing her money and have a neat nest egg to succeed in her life and give her best to her family. since she also have a boyfriend that she wants to marry And who we approve of, she is working towards a goal. Trust me, there is nothing nice about being financially stressed. Since I am not Bill Gates, my DD can learn delayed gratification and learn to save money.
Having a budget, being employed, having a high paying job, being bilingual, having employable skills, generational wealth…these are given.
Being healthy in body, min
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 16:39     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.


So she’s never going to live on her own?


Why should she? She has already lived away from home through undergrad and grad.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 16:22     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
My DS will be moving in May '23 after three years of staying with us from college graduation. He has a good high paying job with 300K in savings and we do not charge rent, food, utilities, car insurance, cell phone, etc...We have a guest house next to the main house so he stays there and has privacy so it works out. He will be moving to Charlotte NC in May to accept a new position in the same company. We will give him 400K so that he will be able to purchase a new home in Charlotte without having to get a loan. We will also buy him a new Toyota RAV4 to send him off his successful launch in life. Three years is a good time to leave.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 15:30     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
OP, you are vague about the issue and concern here. Is your fear that your DC won't ever launch? Is the issue that they seem stagnant? Are they a nuisance to your and your spouse and you want more space?

What's the problem you're trying to solve here? And furthermore, what discussions did you have with your kid after they graduated college? You would think this would have come up at that point.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 14:48     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.


So she’s never going to live on her own?


I don't even know where you get that from

- np


Well, presumably she will move from her parents house to a house she shares with her husband - so never alone.


Maybe she did in college? No matter, if she’s happy, who are you to judge her?? Weirdo.


It's important for people to live on their own, budget, be independent.



Sorry you never had the chance.
uh... you do you?
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 14:21     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.


So she’s never going to live on her own?


I don't even know where you get that from

- np


Well, presumably she will move from her parents house to a house she shares with her husband - so never alone.


Maybe she did in college? No matter, if she’s happy, who are you to judge her?? Weirdo.


It's important for people to live on their own, budget, be independent.


uh... you do you?
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2023 12:41     Subject: Re:3 years after graduating college time to move out?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.


So she’s never going to live on her own?


I don't even know where you get that from

- np


Well, presumably she will move from her parents house to a house she shares with her husband - so never alone.


Maybe she did in college? No matter, if she’s happy, who are you to judge her?? Weirdo.


It's important for people to live on their own, budget, be independent.