Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 11:49     Subject: meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:My husband would do the same thing, OP.
It's kind of hard to win. When my kids were young I remember hanging on the playground with overly friendly dads and I kind of wished they would go chill by themselves so I could have "mom talk" with the other women. Sometimes they even came across as flirtatious. Then there's the men like this who act like they're invisible and that's kind of weird too.
Really the ideal situation is when there is a group of parents of both sexes. In that case I would expect my husband to make friendly small talk with the men, not look at his phone. He generally would not chat with strange women unless they were my good friends who he already knew. That's just his personality.


DH is a very involved dad and he has never done a play date at the park with moms. He doesn’t want to host play dates of kids or parents. He would pass on meeting other parents at the playground.

There was a stay at home dad who used to host my son and all their friends at their house. I was very friendly with him. We went on an outing once and it just felt kind of weird. His wife is also weird so it isn’t a male/female thing. My son was friends with their son and I preferred drop off. My Dh also didn’t care for the dad or mom. The mom would hang around when dropping off. I could tell she would want to hang out but we didn’t really want to hang out with the parents.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 11:41     Subject: meetup at playground
It's not sexist, I would be kind of irritated of I did a playdate and the parent never chatted. I'd feel like free babysitting. Gender doesn't matter.

This did happen once, happened to be a dad 100% on his phone, but the mom called me the next day and explained he was on a business call. The next time we met, he came by and chatted so it explained it.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 11:31     Subject: meetup at playground
My husband would do the same thing, OP.
It's kind of hard to win. When my kids were young I remember hanging on the playground with overly friendly dads and I kind of wished they would go chill by themselves so I could have "mom talk" with the other women. Sometimes they even came across as flirtatious. Then there's the men like this who act like they're invisible and that's kind of weird too.
Really the ideal situation is when there is a group of parents of both sexes. In that case I would expect my husband to make friendly small talk with the men, not look at his phone. He generally would not chat with strange women unless they were my good friends who he already knew. That's just his personality.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 11:21     Subject: meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:At that age it’s about parent friendships. Your husband was not friendly.


oP never said age of the child.

To me it was about child socialization and not mine. He is staring at his phone and not engaging because he doesn’t want to accused of anything untoward by a lying woman.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 10:42     Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a sexist response to parenting while male. The dad trust the daughter to play on her own and doesn’t need to hover nor engage in chit chat.


I agree. The Dad was keeping an eye on his daughter from the bench and didn't need to chit chat. He did nothing wrong. I am a Mom and have been in the same situation where I brought my school aged child to a semi-regular park hangout and didn't chit chat with anyone because I had my hands full with an insane toddler, which I get is not the same as being on the phone, but you know, people aren't always available for chit chat for whatever reason. And I see other dads on their phones all the time at these sorts of things and think nothing of it because I do the same on the rare occasions when I don't have to mind the toddler. I would not assume it is anything the Dad did.

Could be some trouble/drama among the established mom friend group.


Nah they just don’t want to deal with the socially clueless awkward dad anymore.


What is there to "deal" with? He is a grown man minding his child and minding his own business.


He’s at a play date and accepted an invitation. He’s not randomly at the park at the same time.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 10:40     Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a sexist response to parenting while male. The dad trust the daughter to play on her own and doesn’t need to hover nor engage in chit chat.


I agree. The Dad was keeping an eye on his daughter from the bench and didn't need to chit chat. He did nothing wrong. I am a Mom and have been in the same situation where I brought my school aged child to a semi-regular park hangout and didn't chit chat with anyone because I had my hands full with an insane toddler, which I get is not the same as being on the phone, but you know, people aren't always available for chit chat for whatever reason. And I see other dads on their phones all the time at these sorts of things and think nothing of it because I do the same on the rare occasions when I don't have to mind the toddler. I would not assume it is anything the Dad did.

Could be some trouble/drama among the established mom friend group.


Nah they just don’t want to deal with the socially clueless awkward dad anymore.


What is there to "deal" with? He is a grown man minding his child and minding his own business.


If their child was my kid’s absolute favorite friend, I would invite child over for a drop off play date.

If the child was a regular school friend and parent and I didn’t click, I would not try to hang out together at the playground. During the preschool years, there were lots of group play dates and most of them were with moms I liked and was friends with. In preschool, I mostly hung out with the adults I liked. I did occasionally meet up with my child’s friend that I didn’t know mom or didn’t click but we met only a handful of times like OP’s husband.

If I met up with OP or her husband and they ignored me for their phone, I would likely not have met them the 4-5 times. It would have been a one time meetup. It is kind of like a bad date.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 10:02     Subject: meetup at playground
Don't read too much into it. This happened many times when my son was still at the age where I had to arrange things. I used to worry about it a lot, and then over time realized that people's lives and schedules change, and it probably has nothing to do with you or your kid.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 09:34     Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a sexist response to parenting while male. The dad trust the daughter to play on her own and doesn’t need to hover nor engage in chit chat.


I agree. The Dad was keeping an eye on his daughter from the bench and didn't need to chit chat. He did nothing wrong. I am a Mom and have been in the same situation where I brought my school aged child to a semi-regular park hangout and didn't chit chat with anyone because I had my hands full with an insane toddler, which I get is not the same as being on the phone, but you know, people aren't always available for chit chat for whatever reason. And I see other dads on their phones all the time at these sorts of things and think nothing of it because I do the same on the rare occasions when I don't have to mind the toddler. I would not assume it is anything the Dad did.

Could be some trouble/drama among the established mom friend group.


Nah they just don’t want to deal with the socially clueless awkward dad anymore.


What is there to "deal" with? He is a grown man minding his child and minding his own business.


Yes, and if he wants to behave like that then he can go by himself and his kid.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 01:55     Subject: meetup at playground
I don't really care if you talk to me or not. I get people have social anxiety or just arent looking for new friends. Just please don't foist your kid on me, especially if I don't know you. This happened a few times and honestly I just left annoyed that I couldn't tell your kid not to do something but parent was too involved in phone to actually parent. I felt like a babysitter.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 01:51     Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a sexist response to parenting while male. The dad trust the daughter to play on her own and doesn’t need to hover nor engage in chit chat.


I agree. The Dad was keeping an eye on his daughter from the bench and didn't need to chit chat. He did nothing wrong. I am a Mom and have been in the same situation where I brought my school aged child to a semi-regular park hangout and didn't chit chat with anyone because I had my hands full with an insane toddler, which I get is not the same as being on the phone, but you know, people aren't always available for chit chat for whatever reason. And I see other dads on their phones all the time at these sorts of things and think nothing of it because I do the same on the rare occasions when I don't have to mind the toddler. I would not assume it is anything the Dad did.

Could be some trouble/drama among the established mom friend group.


Nah they just don’t want to deal with the socially clueless awkward dad anymore.


What is there to "deal" with? He is a grown man minding his child and minding his own business.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 01:37     Subject: meetup at playground
At that age it’s about parent friendships. Your husband was not friendly.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 01:10     Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a sexist response to parenting while male. The dad trust the daughter to play on her own and doesn’t need to hover nor engage in chit chat.


I agree. The Dad was keeping an eye on his daughter from the bench and didn't need to chit chat. He did nothing wrong. I am a Mom and have been in the same situation where I brought my school aged child to a semi-regular park hangout and didn't chit chat with anyone because I had my hands full with an insane toddler, which I get is not the same as being on the phone, but you know, people aren't always available for chit chat for whatever reason. And I see other dads on their phones all the time at these sorts of things and think nothing of it because I do the same on the rare occasions when I don't have to mind the toddler. I would not assume it is anything the Dad did.

Could be some trouble/drama among the established mom friend group.


Nah they just don’t want to deal with the socially clueless awkward dad anymore.
Anonymous
Post 02/14/2023 00:47     Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a sexist response to parenting while male. The dad trust the daughter to play on her own and doesn’t need to hover nor engage in chit chat.


I agree. The Dad was keeping an eye on his daughter from the bench and didn't need to chit chat. He did nothing wrong. I am a Mom and have been in the same situation where I brought my school aged child to a semi-regular park hangout and didn't chit chat with anyone because I had my hands full with an insane toddler, which I get is not the same as being on the phone, but you know, people aren't always available for chit chat for whatever reason. And I see other dads on their phones all the time at these sorts of things and think nothing of it because I do the same on the rare occasions when I don't have to mind the toddler. I would not assume it is anything the Dad did.

Could be some trouble/drama among the established mom friend group.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 22:40     Subject: meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:The other parents decided they didn't want to hang out with your standoffish dick of a husband.

Seriously, he goes to the park with these other families and then spends the whole time on his phone, ignoring the other adults? They noticed that he seems to have confused SAHM with "volunteer daycare provider" and opted to get together elsewhere, where they won't be treated as beneath his notice.
.
If your child is young enough that you're going to playdates and sticking around, as opposed to dropping off somewhere, common courtesy and basic politeness requires you to make small talk with the other parents in your group. not ignore them (and in their minds, your child as well) for something you deign more interesting.


+100 Your husband needs to get with the program! My husband used to do this too and thankfully a close friend set him straight. If he wants to be unfriendly, people aren't going to want to make plans with him, duh!
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 22:18     Subject: Re:meetup at playground
They were probably expecting a house play-date by this point.