Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 08:24     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
I would absolutely ask as a host because I would wonder if there was something else that she would prefer to put out. It’s not that hard to just say “oh I was full” or something if you don’t want to eat.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 08:23     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
I don't eat much either when I'm at others' houses. I'm overweight and feel like people are judging me. (i.e. "no wonder she's fat, look at all those wings she is eating").
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 08:20     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
See a therapist. You sound very disordered.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 08:20     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Anonymous wrote:So tonight I got dragged to a Super Bowl party by my boyfriend. It was at his friend’s home. I don’t know these people super well and they also had maybe 10 other people there I don’t know. There was a ton of food and I couldn’t bring myself to eat a thing. I felt so uncomfortable. Everyone was eating. The host asked me why I didn’t eat before we were getting ready to leave. Was I rude not to eat? In certain situations I have always been uncomfortable eating in front of people I don’t know very well (at someone’s home, not at a restaurant). I’m not sure why I feel this way…Maybe I’m worried they will think, “Look at what she’s putting on her plate… look at what she’s eating and how she’s stuffing her face. Should she really be eating that?” It makes me self conscious and I know it’s irrational. The food was set up on a kitchen island and everyone was standing around it.


You need therapy. That is not normal behavior. And yes, you came across as rude.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 08:19     Subject: Re:Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Host was probably wanting to know what you would eat so that she could have it the next time you come. People have so many different rules regarding their eating, it is hard for a host to have something for everyone without prior notice.

Weren’t you super hungry? I’d be in migraine hell if I did not eat something for dinner.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 08:18     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Pooping at someone’s house is one thing. But I think this wouldn’t bother me if I were hosting a party. I wouldn’t have said anything at all if a guest didn’t eat.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 07:55     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Host sounds like they were just trying to make conversation, tbf.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 07:52     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
No pears or frangelico available?
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 07:51     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Anonymous wrote:I don't think it was remotely rude for the host to ask why OP wasn't eating. On the rudeness scale, it was certainly less rude than OP not pretending to eat a little at least.


Oh no, you’re wrong sorry. The host should have NOTICED OP wasn’t eating but absolutely not called her out on it. At most the host could have quietly spoken to OP away from others and asked if there was anything else she would LIKE to eat. But absolutely not asking why.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 07:50     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
How would bringing food with you have allowed you to eat in front if others?
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 07:49     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Choosing not to eat is fine. It was very impolite of the host to ask you about it.

As someone who did a master’s thesis on anorexia and bulimia weblogs (not from a medical perspective, but tons of research involved), it sounds like you have a disordered relationship with food. This could be coming from social anxiety, or body dysmorphia. I urge you to seek a medical consult to determine why you feel this way about eating in social settings, and how you can become more comfortable with that. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 07:48     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The host probably paid no attention to you. You’re fine.


Learn to read. OP said the host asked her why she didn't eat, which means that she DID pay attention to her.


DP. That doesn’t mean the host cared at all. They were just being polite.

I know for a fact that the host isn’t sitting right now thinking “man, I really wish that random girl ate my food”.

The host doesn’t really care.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 07:46     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Anonymous wrote:The host probably paid no attention to you. You’re fine.


Learn to read. OP said the host asked her why she didn't eat, which means that she DID pay attention to her.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 07:42     Subject: Re:Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Have you had an eating disorder in the past?

Anonymous
Post 02/13/2023 07:38     Subject: Uncomfortable eating at other peoples houses
Did they not have Doritos? chicken wings? cheese and crackers? Because I'd demolish all of those. If it was a creamed spinach buffet of a super bowl party, then yes, I understand your hesitation.