It really depends on your school district. We're in Loudoun and my K-grade DC gets preferential seating, speech therapy twice a week at the school, and one on one with a special ed teacher 15 minutes a day. We requested occupational therapy as well and it's pending right now. The district mainstreams everyone until they're 7yo and then you have an IEP re-look. I think only extreme cases end up at special ed and you have to agree to it. Dedicated aide at the mainstream school is a no go here, only at a special ed school. They just don't have the resources to provide this type of service at every school, which is completely understandable. I think the only way we got to an IEP quickly is the school district/our school realizing that we do a lot at home/private services on top of help we receive from school, so hopefully we will be a success story for them. Kids where parents can't afford private services, usually get sent to special ed school, but only extreme cases.

He can't be placed in a self-contained classroom without your consent. The parent is the most important member of an IEP team. Sign the evaluation consent form and get him the help he needs. A general education classroom is typically where schools start because it is the least restrictive environment.

This is OP. Thank you everyone. Your responses were really helpful. We've decided to try to find an educational consultant and move forward with the IEP process. To the posters who mentioned changing schools, we are on waiting lists for multiple other schools but their classes are currently full. At this point, we are focusing on giving child the best chance at success in kindergarten next year.

They will start with an evaluation to see what is going on.

I am not a professional - just a mom of 3 kids but my ADHD kid had outbursts around stressful points. The family stress with surgery would be one - but when things did not go the way he pictured them there would be epic outbursts (ADHD term - rigidity in thinking) We did not get to a diagnosis until 6th grade but had elements since he was 5.

Best of luck with the process.

They are supposed to start with the least restrictive environment, which for a child without documented disabilities, would be a gen ed classroom with supports. Our experience was that the next step was self-contained classroom with the child attending some classes with gen ed. The priority is getting a child into a setting where they're able to access the curriculum. In our DD's case, a self-contained classroom with a teacher willing to work with her sensory / regulation issues was infinitely better than a gen ed classroom with a teacher unable or unwilling to work with her.