When our kids (3) were in college, we did not insist them working during summer but we did insist them doing something productive and their field of study related. They are all doctors (2 phd and 1 md) now.

During the year, it depends on their school workload.

In the summer, unless they are doing an Internship then they are working!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here:

No, my kids don’t need my permission, but they could ask for my advice. Also this is a general discussion.

Most kids are NOT excelling at class work, paid work and volunteering at the same time. Have you ever participated in a real paper worthy research project? It takes a lot of time.

Not every child is "most kids." Ours is volunteering 10-12 hours per week, working about 10-15 hours per week, and is on their third straight year of making Deans-list (3.5 required, they have straight As).

I did a 16-hour internship one year and a 24-hour internship on top of taking 18 credits and I was miserable. I did well academically but I had no social life or fun. My major required internships. I had friends working on top of that and they were barely surviving.

Anonymous wrote:I was talking to my DD about how I worked in dining hall in college, how it was hot miserable exhausting work, about 10 hours a week paid on top of the time of walking cross campus and changing after each sweaty shift.

Then I got thinking how I spent probably 5 hours a week doing laundry, lugging the dirty laundry to laundry facility, waiting for it to finish and lugging it back to fold.

To get a haircut or pharmacy was a 20 minutes bus ride each way (I didn’t have a car and had never taken a taxi until I was a grad student).

Most students don’t work at my elite university, most had laundry service, and I think many took taxi without much thought. I realized I probably lost 20 hours+ each week compared to them in sleep, study, and socializing time (and at an elite university socializing is networking). I got to know my dining hall staff, but all of them were like me and went into low paying passion career like teaching or evolutionary science.

I realize now that those hours lost were another barrier keeping us apart; not intentional I’m sure, but it is what it is.

+1
We are not poor. Donut hole family and kids went to public k-12 and instate flagship college. Cost is quite low and on top of that they got generous merit scholarships. As a result, they are almost getting their STEM education for free. And have enough money to buy a car that they will use for the next 10 years.

Kid is in college 30 minutes away. No cost of time, money and effort to make trips back home. We take care of his weekly laundry, groceries and sundries, plus all minor logistical needs. All the extra time allows him to do well academically ( two well paying STEM majors), socialize, do EC activities, volunteer, get medical care from his trusted doctors through our insurance and travel. He has been able to score two internships as a freshman. One is a year long internship and other is a summer internship. All of these are resume builders. I do not fear that he will not be able to “adult”. He knows how to do laundry and fold clothes the Marie Kondo way. He knows how to cook. He knows how to do dishes. What he does not know, he will learn. There is not a high barrier to learning these chores. What it buys him is time. If he would have been in an elite college, he would not have got the help that we can give him here. Furthermore, the cost of college would have meant that we would not be in a situation to help him financially to give him a leg up later in life.

However, if your kid will while away their time in partying or sleeping, then I think it is better they work. If work will take away time from academics, networking, internships, EC activities, then you need to pause and re-evaluate. But if working is required to pay bills, then working becomes important
.

I want my kids to work at least the first two years of college. I learned so much and also had so much fun with my college aged jobs. IMO, everyone needs a stint at being the server rather than always being the served. But, a balance must be struck so it's up to the individual to figure out what works for them.

I discouraged working during the school year, though of course if my DD had decided to do it, or if she decides in the future, I will let her figure out how to strike the balance. Working during the summer is a must. But the school year itself is so full with class work and extracurriculars and the opportunities that she has right now in undergrad are something that she will never have again so I’d love her to be able to take advantage of them while she is there.

It's a balance. I expect my kids to work during the summers at least and leave it to them and their bank accounts if they want to work during the school year (we give a set amount monthly for groceries so any expenses beyond that are on them).

My nephew goes to community college and has probably spent too much time working while going to school. He blew his grades first semester because he was giving his job priority over classes and is now retaking some of those classes to improve his GPA.

I'm torn on this. I worked part-time during college, which taught me some good skills and lessons, but I also missed out on study abroad and really meaningful internships as a result. So honestly, I'm torn on what would be better for my kids.

I worked to pay for college, 2 jobs over the summer. I made sure my kids had college/room/board paid for - fun money was on them so they could decide when/how much to work. One got a paid internship in their field (STEM related research) early on and continues to work for the company PT during the year. The other worked a variety of odd job during the summer and does so during the year as he wants money/has time.

i had my kid get a job before school even started. i didn't want her to have endless free time, because she is the type that would think oh i have all this time, i can do it later. then when later comes you have too much to do and not enough time.

by her having a job she had to budget her time and keep up with things. she also did not have time to hang out endlessly with a no-good boyfriend. my plan seemed to work. she kept the job for 3 years and kept her grades up so that she was able to get into a *very* competitive nursing program.

so, everyone is different. some may need jobs for money. some, for structure. there is no one perfect way to do things.

All my roommates who worked "real" paying jobs dropped out of school at some point, although many came back to finish. It's a lot to balance.

I had paid and unpaid jobs/internships but I didn't have to work for pay, which freed me up to do the more interesting jobs or to quit when I needed to focus on school.

My freshman roommate never worked, but in her free time she made a website with ads that is still bringing in revenue. She made a lot more money doing that than my working roommates did.

It depends. I put myself through college so I definitely worked. I was lucky though in that I went to college at a time when it was possible to make most of what I needed for the year by working 3-4 jobs during the summer. Between what I was able to save and financial aid, I could limit school year work to just work study campus jobs. Frankly, that's all I could handle during the school year. But I poured myself into my school work and graduated with many honors and distinctions. I was in the library on Saturday nights.

If my kids do the same, I'll have no trouble helping them during the school year so they don't have to work. If, on the other hand, they major in partying with a minor in beer pong - and they have the grades to show it - then they can go get a job at McDonalds and wait to go back to college when they are prepared to take it seriously.

My DS thinks going to college is like an investment. The longer he stays in college, he is only not making money but also losing money because he has to pay for tuition plus room/board. If he works in the summer, he is not getting paid top dollar like he would with a real Software Engineering job. With that in mind, he loaded up a lot of AP courses in HS and he also took summer classes so that he could finish his CS degree in three years. He accepted a job with General Dynamics for a salary of 125K. Not only does he save a year of tuition plus room/board but he is also making real good money in the process. It's a win-win scenario.

I was talking to my DD about how I worked in dining hall in college, how it was hot miserable exhausting work, about 10 hours a week paid on top of the time of walking cross campus and changing after each sweaty shift.

Then I got thinking how I spent probably 5 hours a week doing laundry, lugging the dirty laundry to laundry facility, waiting for it to finish and lugging it back to fold.

To get a haircut or pharmacy was a 20 minutes bus ride each way (I didn’t have a car and had never taken a taxi until I was a grad student).

Most students don’t work at my elite university, most had laundry service, and I think many took taxi without much thought. I realized I probably lost 20 hours+ each week compared to them in sleep, study, and socializing time (and at an elite university socializing is networking). I got to know my dining hall staff, but all of them were like me and went into low paying passion career like teaching or evolutionary science.

I realize now that those hours lost were another barrier keeping us apart; not intentional I’m sure, but it is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:Op here:

No, my kids don’t need my permission, but they could ask for my advice. Also this is a general discussion.

Most kids are NOT excelling at class work, paid work and volunteering at the same time. Have you ever participated in a real paper worthy research project? It takes a lot of time.

Not every child is "most kids." Ours is volunteering 10-12 hours per week, working about 10-15 hours per week, and is on their third straight year of making Deans-list (3.5 required, they have straight As).