OP, how many kids do you have and how old are they that living them becomes such a struggle? Do you have a very demanding job?

I have no idea why what your husband does on his personal time during a work trip has anything to do with you. Shouldn’t you be happy for him that he’ll have company? What a bizarre thing to get worked up about.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I’m just really feeling resentful of the trip. It’s not coming at a good time logistically and I’m already stressed about it. Now I’m just irked to think it’s partially a “fun” trip for DH and I’ll be here running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I’ll try and look at it differently. And you’re right, he’s done either way so what does it matter if he’s having fun, I guess.

Get organized, hire some help if possible, plan ahead, def do takeout or simple foods like quesadillas that week. Let DH and MIL enjoy.

Yes OP, calm down. You are upset that your dh wants to spend time with his mother while on a work trip?

Not going to pile on. Can you get a sitter for a couple days while he's gone to get a break/get out of the house? Also, nothing wrong with taking a staycation away from the kids once in a while. I'm a sah mom and do an overnighter in a hotel about 3-4x a year by myself and love it.

I would be so happy because it would likely mean she’d get her fix and it would postpone her next trip to us and I’d get to prolong the length of time before I had to be subject to her nasty behavior again.

This would bother me but only because of the context of previous incidents and dynamics where I get the sense that my mil is more than ok with leaving me out if it means she can get them with her son (for example on a group vacation with in laws we could not get a big enough reservation at a restaurant so mil suggested I stay at house and they go. FIL protested it was strange, but she said it was find. I was too naive and people pleasing to say anything and DH was mindless letting his mom take care of everything. This has all since changed and DH sees now and I say NO when mil is doing crap like this).

In and of itself I 100% don’t think there is an issue with it and it is actually sweet. If it is bothering you it is probably because it is triggering a deeper issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re mad because you no doubt do not get your fair share of leisure time.

I do not. He’s the breadwinner and works a lot. His trips happen at the worst times. I’m exhausted. It’s not about his mother, per se. She’s a lovely woman and we see her often.

Then hire a babysitter for the week. You’re not wrong to be exhausted. But you are wrong to focus on the wrong things and not do something about it.

I think you’re wrong to be upset over these facts but also that bigger picture you’re probably burnt out and exhausted. This reaction sounds like a symptom. Is there anything you can change structurally to improve your QOL? Laundry service, cleaning service, more vacations, more babysitting?

Anonymous wrote:Soon DH will be taking a business trip for a week. The trip was brought up in casual conversation during a dinner we hosted. The city in which DH’s convention will be held is a city ILs have a timeshare hotel/resort. DH just told me that his mother told him that she plans on going down and using her timeshare that week, and they can sightsee during some of his downtime. I know it shouldn’t, but it’s really irking me. Meanwhile I’ll be here holding down the fort while DH and MIL are sightseeing around the town on his “downtime”. Thoughts? Should I calm down?

What if it was your mother you were meeting and your dh was 'holding down the fort?" Don't be upset...and please get over it. Jealously is not a good look.

"Holding down the fort"? It is called being a parent and it really isn't that bad. My spouse and I both traveled for work a lot, and in some ways it was easier when they were away. You just develop your routine and do what has to be done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re mad because you no doubt do not get your fair share of leisure time.

I do not. He’s the breadwinner and works a lot. His trips happen at the worst times. I’m exhausted. It’s not about his mother, per se. She’s a lovely woman and we see her often.

What are you doing to fix your exhaustion? That’s the real problem.

I don’t know. It’s hard to take time for myself with his schedule. It isn’t hard for me to just drop them on him. I typically do small things for myself, but it’s not the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re mad because you no doubt do not get your fair share of leisure time.

I do not. He’s the breadwinner and works a lot. His trips happen at the worst times. I’m exhausted. It’s not about his mother, per se. She’s a lovely woman and we see her often.

What are you doing to fix your exhaustion? That’s the real problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you’re mad because you no doubt do not get your fair share of leisure time.

I do not. He’s the breadwinner and works a lot. His trips happen at the worst times. I’m exhausted. It’s not about his mother, per se. She’s a lovely woman and we see her often.

OP: You are wrong to be upset over this situation. Be thankful that your husband has a good relationship with his mother & that he will not be tempted to do other things about which you might have a right to be upset.

In short, OP your life is too easy if this is your biggest gripe.

I planned on agreeing with everyone else that this is a fine, even a great plan. It seems like you've basically agreed to that, so now I'm going to also agree with the pp who said you should schedule your own weekend of relaxation (either by actually leaving or telling your family that you are off the clock and staying home).