Anonymous
02/08/2023 18:02
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Anonymous wrote:It makes no sense that he has an 800 credit score but can't get the best rate. Something doesn't add up.
You get a great credit score by having credit history.
Yep. Something's not right with this statement.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 17:39
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Anonymous wrote:I think OP is trolling us.
+1
Definately
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:58
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Wow. Whiny and pouty is not a good combo for a 30yo. Good grief. Time to cut him off financially and suggest he find a new therapist that isn’t an indulgent enabler. Jeez.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:56
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It makes no sense that he has an 800 credit score but can't get the best rate. Something doesn't add up.
You get a great credit score by having credit history.
He has credit cards. He's had those in his name since 17 or 18.
DH was with him at the dealership when this happened. The financing guy at the dealer told DS that it doesn't look good to financers that he's never had any loans.
I do not believe you. We are not getting the whole story.
My son 29 just had a car accident car totaled ie new car needed. He did this all himself he has great credit no loans. Up until now, we cosigned all his apartments. When he finished grad school about 6 months ago he got a new apartment no co sign needed.
7% -7.2% every new car company quoted him the same. Nothing about rental history that is absurd. We just bought a new car they quoted us the same at the dealership. Credit Unions were similar so was Cap One online.
Have idea what you are talking about.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:51
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It makes no sense that he has an 800 credit score but can't get the best rate. Something doesn't add up.
You get a great credit score by having credit history.
He has credit cards. He's had those in his name since 17 or 18.
DH was with him at the dealership when this happened. The financing guy at the dealer told DS that it doesn't look good to financers that he's never had any loans.
Well, it’s true. How do they know if he’s a good bet if he has no repayment history?
That's what the credit card is for. You don't get an 800 credit score without some credit history.
And now OP knows not to give her son another dime.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:44
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
why can't he buy a car with cash? If he is employed and has no rent and no car payment, he can easily save $30,000 very quickly.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:44
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
No good deed goes unpunished? Seriously your son's behavior is just annoying and ungrateful. His therapist should start by encouraging him to keep a gratitude journal.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:40
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here - he didn't want help from us on buying the car.
His therapist told him that his situation is a failure to launch situation because he's been too reliant on us, his parents, for the "large adult things."
That's why he's very focused on buying a car on his own.
So he comes running back to you as soon as he has a problem? So much for launching…
The irony. Blaming you.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:38
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Anonymous wrote:OP here - he didn't want help from us on buying the car.
His therapist told him that his situation is a failure to launch situation because he's been too reliant on us, his parents, for the "large adult things."
That's why he's very focused on buying a car on his own.
So he comes running back to you as soon as he has a problem? So much for launching…
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:31
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
OP here - he didn't want help from us on buying the car.
His therapist told him that his situation is a failure to launch situation because he's been too reliant on us, his parents, for the "large adult things."
That's why he's very focused on buying a car on his own.
His therapist told him that his situation is a failure to launch situation because he's been too reliant on us, his parents, for the "large adult things."
That's why he's very focused on buying a car on his own.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:28
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It makes no sense that he has an 800 credit score but can't get the best rate. Something doesn't add up.
You get a great credit score by having credit history.
He has credit cards. He's had those in his name since 17 or 18.
DH was with him at the dealership when this happened. The financing guy at the dealer told DS that it doesn't look good to financers that he's never had any loans.
Well, it’s true. How do they know if he’s a good bet if he has no repayment history?
Anonymous
02/08/2023 15:26
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Anonymous wrote:It makes no sense that he has an 800 credit score but can't get the best rate. Something doesn't add up.
You get a great credit score by having credit history.
He has credit cards. He's had those in his name since 17 or 18.
DH was with him at the dealership when this happened. The financing guy at the dealer told DS that it doesn't look good to financers that he's never had any loans.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 13:06
Subject: Re:DS is upset with us for providing too much.
He's just being whiny. He will get over hopefully and eventually realize that he is unbelievably lucky -- he's just stressed about moving now and running into minor roadblocks and blaming you.
If I were you, I'd point out to him that if you hadn't helped him, he would have been in the exact same boat when he was younger, applying for rentals or car loans and getting push back because lack of history. He was just spared going through that at a time when he also didn't have much money or life experience. So he's doing it now and it's making him feel young and inexperienced. That's life.
He should offer to produce evidence of employment if he gets a hard time about the car loan. My guess is they are just giving him the run around because that's what they do. But someone with great credit, plenty of income to cover the loan, and 3+ years of employment history at that level, should not have a problem. Tell him to pay hardball with them and say "I can prove income well above what is needed for the loan and have an 800+ credit score. If you don't want my business I'll go elsewhere, I am not worried about finding a lender who will give me the loan I'm looking for."
They will change their tune quickly. Same with landlords unless he's looking at some crazy competitive market like NYC (in which case, trust me, everyone gets the same BS from them, he needs a realtor, unfortunately, in that market because it's so bananas) -- he's employed with good income, no debt, and high credit.
Worst case, offer to cosign for anything he needs just to get this first loan/rental under his belt. It's a signature, it's fine.
No, you didn't do the wrong thing. He's just still very naive and doesn't realize that these are not real problems, they are solvable hiccups. Way better than being in debt or having to pay his own way right out of school with no employment history. He just doesn't know. He'll learn.
If I were you, I'd point out to him that if you hadn't helped him, he would have been in the exact same boat when he was younger, applying for rentals or car loans and getting push back because lack of history. He was just spared going through that at a time when he also didn't have much money or life experience. So he's doing it now and it's making him feel young and inexperienced. That's life.
He should offer to produce evidence of employment if he gets a hard time about the car loan. My guess is they are just giving him the run around because that's what they do. But someone with great credit, plenty of income to cover the loan, and 3+ years of employment history at that level, should not have a problem. Tell him to pay hardball with them and say "I can prove income well above what is needed for the loan and have an 800+ credit score. If you don't want my business I'll go elsewhere, I am not worried about finding a lender who will give me the loan I'm looking for."
They will change their tune quickly. Same with landlords unless he's looking at some crazy competitive market like NYC (in which case, trust me, everyone gets the same BS from them, he needs a realtor, unfortunately, in that market because it's so bananas) -- he's employed with good income, no debt, and high credit.
Worst case, offer to cosign for anything he needs just to get this first loan/rental under his belt. It's a signature, it's fine.
No, you didn't do the wrong thing. He's just still very naive and doesn't realize that these are not real problems, they are solvable hiccups. Way better than being in debt or having to pay his own way right out of school with no employment history. He just doesn't know. He'll learn.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 13:00
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
I think OP is trolling us.
Anonymous
02/08/2023 13:00
Subject: DS is upset with us for providing too much.
Anonymous wrote:So stop helping him.
He can go buy a used car for cash.
This. Sounds like he's incredibly ungrateful. Time to cut the cord!