Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

This is not entirely on her. Trauma isn’t just what happens to you, but how you respond to it. Some people would be discouraged, but not drop out (an extreme reaction). Others might have disregarded her opinion entirely. And some would have seen her opinion as a goad to become amazing in that field.

Definitely talk to a therapist.

This. OP, you said yourself "I allowed her to shatter it" - you alone are in charge of your own reactions to people. You allowed the professor to affect you. You did not have to allow it. Maybe could not choose differently at the time, but it's still your own reaction that only you are responsible for.

Or put another (nicer) way— that professor was a jerk and you need to mentally just drop her. There’s been a relationship (in your mind/thoughts) and you should just end it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

Which major or career ?

Graphic design

Something similar happened to me too, also in graphic design. It was one of my last classes as an undergrad and we were having a review of a project I'd spent a semester working on. It was a panel of three professors in the graphic design department, and when looking at my project which I'd spent so much time on, one of them (who had worked with me before) said: "I'm not sure graphic design is the best choice for you."

I was kind of annoyed at the time but I ended up working in three jobs after college in that field. Looking back, I had talent but it wasn't off the charts; what got me through those first few jobs was the fact I picked up computer design quickly when not many designers had entered that aspect of the field yet. I did end up leaving graphic design, but I am proud of the work I did and enjoyed the jobs I had. Yes the professor ended up being correct, but I also did some really cool things and met some amazingly creative people.

OP the professor was in the wrong, probably, but the rest is on you. If you can be knocked off course that easily, it’s a you problem. Life takes some tenacity. This professor was wrong and a jerk but should not have been so influential.

I would write to her. Even if what she said was true, why humiliate you in front of a room of people. She sounds like a jerk. Write to her and tell her, and don’t give her your return address or anything so she can’t contact you and potentially double-down on her jerkiness.

Anonymous wrote:It was a d*ck move on the part of that professor. Very few students in their early 20s could have walked that off. I’m not surprised it still bothers you.

To suggest that “it was just one comment from one person” is disingenuous. Professors/teachers are considered experts. Their opinions have meaning. The effects of good or bad teaching are lasting.

I hope you’re able to out this person’s exercise in ego behind you, op. They don’t deserve your headspace.

+1,000. How long ago was this, OP? I think these days, we all recognize such comments in a public setting as toxic and uncalled for.

I can’t imagine it’d be very hard to find an email for the professor and share your experience. Not to gaslight you, but maybe he or she didn’t word it as you think you remember? Maybe you were really insecure and felt super lost, so pretty much anything critical felt like the worst.

Just a hunch, and I’m not defending the professor, but is it possible you didn’t appear to be prepared for university-level work? Let alone if you immediately tried to jump into 300-level courses as a transfer. Except in rare circumstances, community colleges are mostly a joke. You get As for showing up and doing busy work.

Absolutely a jerk professor in the delivery, but it sounds like the issue that is lingering with you is more your reaction to the overall message, not the delivery.

Im guessing you were not raised to be a resilient person. It sounds like this whole thing is something to explore with a therapist to see how it took root and and what you can/have done to make less impulsive, emotional decisions.

I don't know you OP, but I feel comfortable telling you that the professor who did this is absolutely not cut out for teaching other people and probably shouldn't be doing it. What an a$$hole.

I get why this lingers for you, especially because he said it in front of the entire class. That would stick with me, too. Everyone has insecurities, and probably this comment from. him is among the first things that come to mind when you doubt yourself or feel insecure about something, especially something professional or academic. That's so normal. But I really cannot emphasize enough that this professor is not the arbiter on your value, or what you are "cut out for", or what you are capable of. You are.

Let it motivate you but don't let it hold you back. You don't owe that professor anything and he was obviously wrong about you.

Make a list of all the encouraging things people have ever told you, especially about your work/academics. Or every good grade you've received, every positive customer/client review, everything. Keep ti in a folder and pull it out whenever you find yourself thinking about that professor. The proof is in the pudding.

Because you were too naïve then - you thought if an adult or someone in a position of authority said something, it must be true. You obviously didn't see Chorus Line when you were young like I did.

"This man is nothing! This course is nothing. If you want something, go find another class."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

Which major or career ?

Graphic design

Your professor should have been more tactful about how she said it, but perhaps she was right that you probably weren’t going to be a successful graphic designer? She probably didn’t realize you would drop out entirely as a result and thought it was kinder to tell you up front instead of letting you spend more time and money on something that wasn’t going to work out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

This is not entirely on her. Trauma isn’t just what happens to you, but how you respond to it. Some people would be discouraged, but not drop out (an extreme reaction). Others might have disregarded her opinion entirely. And some would have seen her opinion as a goad to become amazing in that field.

Definitely talk to a therapist.

OP here. This is very true, and an interesting point. The Me of today would definitely see it as Option #3: Challenge Accepted. So perhaps it was an important moment of growth for me, and allowed me to become the person I am today.

I am a Challenge Accepted person. The best way to tick me off is to tell me I can’t do something for some BS reason they come up with out of racism, sexism, ableism, etc. I’ll never tell a person F U to their face, but I will prove them wrong in every way they doubted me.

In a way, OP sort of did tell this woman FU. She went on to prove herself fulfilled and happy, which is something someone who would call out a twenty something student in front of their peers like that, clearly isn’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the professor correct ? Did you end up in that field ?

I dropped out immediately. It was my very first class. I would have had to take the majority of related classes with her, I was embarrassed and took her words to heart. I have no clue if I could have improved with some guidance and support. My heart was in it, but then I allowed her to shatter it.
I allowed her to shatter it.

This is not entirely on her. Trauma isn’t just what happens to you, but how you respond to it. Some people would be discouraged, but not drop out (an extreme reaction). Others might have disregarded her opinion entirely. And some would have seen her opinion as a goad to become amazing in that field.

Definitely talk to a therapist.

OP here. This is very true, and an interesting point. The Me of today would definitely see it as Option #3: Challenge Accepted. So perhaps it was an important moment of growth for me, and allowed me to become the person I am today.

I am a Challenge Accepted person. The best way to tick me off is to tell me I can’t do something for some BS reason they come up with out of racism, sexism, ableism, etc. I’ll never tell a person F U to their face, but I will prove them wrong in every way they doubted me.

It was a d*ck move on the part of that professor. Very few students in their early 20s could have walked that off. I’m not surprised it still bothers you.

To suggest that “it was just one comment from one person” is disingenuous. Professors/teachers are considered experts. Their opinions have meaning. The effects of good or bad teaching are lasting.

I hope you’re able to out this person’s exercise in ego behind you, op. They don’t deserve your headspace.

What do you mean first class? Were you a full time student taking multiple classes concurrently? How were your other classes going?