You sound annoying and exhausting. I have no issue with people posting wishes for things like a headboard.

I think most adoption rescue folks are irritating. Charging a fee is really gross especially when some are charging as much as breeders do. And, the rules are crazy. Plus, it's very hard to get a dog that is small or gentle or hypoallergenic. Rehoming in a group like that isn't a great idea but its better then sending them to a shelter.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not on a Buy Nothing group (I'm not on Facebook) but live in Capitol Hill and recently learned that the administration of the CH Buy Nothing group on Facebook was so toxic and draconian that a group of people splintered off and started a different group called Take My $hit that has literally no rules or administration and now has as many if not more members than the original group.

If admin of Buy Nothing groups is anything like admin of neighborhood parent list serves or certain school/activity parent groups I've been in, I can imagine it's awful. There is this small minority of people who live to order other people around and punish them for not following exacting rules that only exist to make them feel official and in control. And they make everyone else's life miserable. Worse, they often truly believe that they are the only reason anything ever happens, and that the rest of us rely on them to make our lives better. They don't realize that most of the time, good stuff happens in spite of their "organization efforts" and that most of us are functional adults who somehow manage to do okay without them the rest of the time.

I wish therapy were free and widely available.

Buy Nothing is a national organization. The Admins take training and agree to follow a set of national standardized rules. No animals or alcohol is allowed to be gifted. There are a lot of rules overall - but following them keeps the group running smoothly. I don’t know what happened in CH, but it’s equally possible that people didn’t like following some pretty reasonable rules and threw a hissy fit.

I know theoretically I *CAN* sell a number of items I give away through my BN group, but I don't have time (Although I guess I have time to sit on this website...)

I’m sorry your BN group sucks. Mine is amazing. I have gifted and received so many nice things.
I received a beautiful decorative bowl made by an artist from my hometown that meant nothing to someone here, but is special to me.
I have gifted so many baby items and kids clothes that we no longer needed.Instead of dumping toys and household items at Goodwill where they are likely trashed, they go to people who actually want them. My kids have been gifted costumes for school presentations and borrowed sports equipment or items for hobbies we were trying out.
I have a niche hobby that I have equipment and accessories for - and sometimes people borrow them. In return, when others abandon the hobby, I’ve been gifted leftover supplies.

Of course there are people who seem to ask for everything - maybe they are greedy, maybe they are poor, maybe they are hoarders - not my problem as long as people aren’t just gifting everything to the first responder. I live in an affluent neighborhood and people give away crazy expensive things - my friend got a $900 stroller. I gave away a $250 pillow I let my decorator talk me into and later hated. I was gifted an air fryer. At least in my group people seem to have some humility about it - “just checking before I buy” is a common phrase.

I think your biggest issue OP is that you are making it very personal. It’s more like a Goodwill donation. I don’t understand why you would wrap personalized packages for specific kids. Did you buy new items just to gift?

Anonymous wrote:When you get involved in these groups, you are dealing with people who are poor, cheap, psychotic about sustainability, etc. All of these groups are annoying. That is why many of us just donate.

+1
Totally agree
But you left out greedy people and hoarders

Anonymous wrote:I'm annoyed at the people who use BN for resale. There is one person who is always asking for furniture and I don't know what they do with it, but I suspect they resell it.

There's a couple in my group who always responds "Interested!" to anything of value including tons of furniture. One of them is a doctor and they live in cushy home. They give away low value items. I got a book from them once which is how I know about their home. Anywho... I was browsing Facebook Marketplace one day and there were tons of listings of items they got in the BN group.

I'm annoyed at the people who use BN for resale. There is one person who is always asking for furniture and I don't know what they do with it, but I suspect they resell it.

When you get involved in these groups, you are dealing with people who are poor, cheap, psychotic about sustainability, etc. All of these groups are annoying. That is why many of us just donate.

I agreed to gift something to a person who I had gifted to in the past. Before I even had time to set it on my porch, she was in my driveway asking where the stuff was. Cringe.

I gave away a welding machine to a lady and had my husband help load it into her car at her convenience. Never once did I get a thank you. The thing was worth like $1200 and other people wanted it. She showed up with 10 minutes notice and it was dark out. I sent my husband out to help her load it and she didn't thank him either.

Anonymous wrote:I do hate the entitlement of a lot of the members. Recently in my BN two different people posted requests for a free Tripp Trapp. Not just a high chair, but the fanciest status $200+ high chair. Come on. It's gross.

Yep. I see this all the time and it really makes me nauseated. Or they'll ask for something and then once it's offered, they'll ask things like "Is it in good condition? Can I come get it next week?"

Or "My kid really wants an xbox. Does anyone have one laying around they don't want anymore?"

These were things that would go on my Christmas wish list as a kid.

Agree with you on the animals.

The rest of it, I think you are overthinking and investing too much energy in.

I do hate the entitlement of a lot of the members. Recently in my BN two different people posted requests for a free Tripp Trapp. Not just a high chair, but the fanciest status $200+ high chair. Come on. It's gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you are putting way too much mental energy into this. Stop following it on facebook and getting updates. Just post stuff for free when you want to let it go and be glad it's not going in a landfill.

I have had the bad interactions with humane societies and will never use one again. I will be going straight to a breeder instead. I have kids and was told that they wouldn't consider someone who had a kid under 5. Another told me I'd need a fenced in yard. Another told me that they wanted a remote worker or a SAHM (I wfh 3 days a week, but that wasn't enough). My beloved dog who just passed away last year was given to me for free. At the time (graduated college and paychecks hadn't started yet) I wouldn't have been able to afford the high humane society fees. I think a group matching dogs with owners who want them for free is not a bad idea.

Yep. The first FOUR I contacted told me they wouldn’t give me a dog while I had a child under ten in the house. Many also insisted on a fence (that’s only $15k, no biggie) or a SAHP (sure, I will ditch my career for a dog. That’s healthy). WTF?!?

OP again. Again, they are not ALL like this. Try a rescue group/smaller humane society. Don't discount them all because of that experience. I agree that is over the top. My mom is a great dog owner and she was turned down once because she doesn't have a fence. The thing they don't realize is she lives on like 20 acres where they get to go on long walks and her dogs are treated better than most people.

Anonymous wrote:I freecycle a lot (although have never picked up anything) and I have no expectations about this exchange other than I am grateful that something I no longer need isn't going to a landfill. If someone else rich wants it, great. If it ends up going to a person who is struggling, also great. If someone resells it, good for them for being enterprising. All I know is that it is out of my house and has gone to some good use.

But totally agree on the animals.

+1