Anonymous wrote:The good news is that you are young, and still have plenty of time to make long lasting friends. I didn’t have any lasting friends from college or childhood, but made several friends in my 20s and 30s that I’ve now been friends with for 10-15 years (I’m now in my 40s).

One key is finding “your people” and living in a neighborhood and city where folks you feel connected to are abundant. If you tell us a bit about your interests maybe we could help you find such a spot in the DC area. Then I’d say live in a setting that has built in social interactions, such as a group house, shared apartment, or even a building where you have your own place but there are other young people like you. And then as everyone else has said, seek out meet ups and what not based on your interests.

Your job sounds like it’s not doing you any favors. I would try to find a job that’s more 9-5 though you might have to take a pay cut.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks again for all the support and great advice. Will take many of these to heart.

I don’t think my school’s reunions and alumni clubs are notoriously inactive (guess which Ivy I went to, haha). I am trying to find new friends, but it is hard. My roommates all went to Georgetown (I have four of them), and they were all BFFs from Georgetown. I decided to live with them because they posted on a DC Facebook Housing Group saying that they needed a fifth roommate.

I now realize my mistake. These four all are really close to each other and couldn’t be less interested in talking to me. They are really involved in each others’ lives, but won’t even say hi to me in the morning. They hosted a party in our house and didn’t even tell me about it, which is absurd since I literally live with them. One of them locked me out of the house, and when I approached her about it, she was extremely apathetic. Last week, three of them threw a birthday party for the fourth roommate — again, they never told me about it and were hostile to me when I went downstairs during the party (in my OWN house!) to grab a snack. I probably should’ve roomed with DC transplants like myself.

I took the MBB job mainly because I had $40k in student debt when I graduated college (even after significant amounts of need-based financial aid). It’s down to $25k now, but I definitely don’t feel financially comfortable outsourcing my housework — I basically live like a Hill staffer making $30k/year even though I make almost quadruple that.

I also know that as a first-gen Asian woman from modest means, I should take jobs that have great exit opportunities, prestige, and pay, even if it means I’ll be unhappy — there are no other options for someone of my SES. So no, I can’t leave my job.

Anonymous wrote:1. You are not alone. Many people don't have the kind of idealized friendships you see in movies and tv, in college or high school.

2. Your misery is a natural response to your life situation, which is itself miserable. In fact, it would be weirder if you were not miserable.

3. If you want to stop being miserable, you will have to put yourself in situations that are less awful. You hate your job. So quit. Go do something that is more in tune with your interests. You won't starve if you forgo the huge salary. No one should be working 70 hours a week at 22. Go travel. Find a job that pays less but provides work/life balance and makes you feel better about yourself. Meet people. Pick up hobbies.

Anonymous wrote:"Everyone always says that being 22 is the best and that I should be in the "happiest" time of my life right now. I've always felt miserable and lonely, and my depression is getting a lot worse now that I'm realizing that these feelings of misery and loneliness were not immediately going to disappear once I became a real adult."

People who say that are lying. Age 22-24 were probably the toughest most miserable years of my life (I'm 40 now). It can be really hard to get your footing as a young adult, but I promise life gets a lot better as you get into your later 20's and 30's.