Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 14:58     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Over the past month or so my daughter (2nd grade) has been coming home and telling me stories about things the boys say in class. The most recent story is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Apparently, it is a regular occurrence that they make sexual moaning noises in class. DD doesn’t know why it’s inappropriate, but she feels like it is and that she should tell me when they do it.

I’ve had her tell me multiple times about boys calling the girls “strippers.”

Today, she informed me that they were talking about how “Lucy chokes on too many…” and then used a slang word I didn’t recognize. When I asked what she thought that meant she pointed to her private parts.

There is one name in particular that keeps coming up when she tells me these stories, but she is hesitant to name names because she doesn’t want her classmates to view her as a taddle tail.

This seems like more of a principal or social work issue, but are those the right people to contact? Or should I start with the teacher? I don't want to have to keep having these conversations with my 8 year old.


It's "tattle tale," boneappletea.


You seem mad


Not really. It was bugging me, too. It's always shocking to me how many people don't know how to spell common words and misuse fairly common phrases. Then claim it's a typo when that is clearly not the case.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:28     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:Over the past month or so my daughter (2nd grade) has been coming home and telling me stories about things the boys say in class. The most recent story is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Apparently, it is a regular occurrence that they make sexual moaning noises in class. DD doesn’t know why it’s inappropriate, but she feels like it is and that she should tell me when they do it.

I’ve had her tell me multiple times about boys calling the girls “strippers.”

Today, she informed me that they were talking about how “Lucy chokes on too many…” and then used a slang word I didn’t recognize. When I asked what she thought that meant she pointed to her private parts.

There is one name in particular that keeps coming up when she tells me these stories, but she is hesitant to name names because she doesn’t want her classmates to view her as a taddle tail.

This seems like more of a principal or social work issue, but are those the right people to contact? Or should I start with the teacher? I don't want to have to keep having these conversations with my 8 year old.


It's "tattle tale," boneappletea.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:21     Subject: Re:Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
I agree to talk to teacher. You might ask the teacher if they want you to escalate (to counselor or admin). I had a situation like this (not sexual in nature but problematic), and the teacher felt she had tried everything and was glad to have parents speak up so that admin would help.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:13     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What kind of school is this?

Public elementary school.


Also happening in Catholic elementary.


Not at my kids' Catholic school.


Plus 1


Plus 2
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:10     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
I’m a teacher. You need to call the teacher and tell her about it. If she is already aware, ask what is being done about it. Then go up the chain to the principal if needed. Your daughter has a right to feel safe and comfortable in class. If one kid is the ringleader, as far as you can tell, then say so, adding that you only know what your kid tells you. It is not okay and nobody should stand by and allow it. Your kid needs you to be disgusted and stick up for her. When she’s a teen and her boss at her part-time job is offensive like this, you want her to immediately report it and get out if there, not look the other way and put up with it.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:08     Subject: Re:Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:Anything sexual in nature has to be approved, encouraged and affirmed. Particularly if it goes against putitanical, heteronormative sexual mores.


Yep, no kink shaming allowed.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:07     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:I would assume that there's sexual abuse going on.

Something similar happened to my 1st grader. She told me about how a classmate told her how a relative was touching her privates. I got the teacher and counselor involved. I don't know more about what happened because it's sensitive information but I hope they did something. I am also a bit sad because I feel like my dd was naïve and this person explained a lot of sexual acts that 1st graders shouldn't know. Kind of a loss of innocence.


It’s access to porn. I’m sure there are kids in the class who are allowed unfettered access to the internet and are seeing porn and imitating what they hear. As a society we’ve abandoned our efforts to protect kids from sexual content. There will be generational impacts.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 11:42     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:My kids do the moaning thing too. They have no idea what it “means”-they just think it’s funny. I think it comes from Tik-Tok which they don’t have access to, but makes its way to my kids via kids at school. Mine are 8 and 10. I try not to react but it sure grates on my nerves!

My kid started doing this too (he has no idea what it means) when boys did it at school. We told him to stop right away, and called it an „ugly sound“ (which is also chewing with your mouth open, pretending to fart, high-pitched screaming, etc.). He stopped.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 11:27     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
I would assume that there's sexual abuse going on.

Something similar happened to my 1st grader. She told me about how a classmate told her how a relative was touching her privates. I got the teacher and counselor involved. I don't know more about what happened because it's sensitive information but I hope they did something. I am also a bit sad because I feel like my dd was naïve and this person explained a lot of sexual acts that 1st graders shouldn't know. Kind of a loss of innocence.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 11:26     Subject: Re:Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anything sexual in nature has to be approved, encouraged and affirmed. Particularly if it goes against putitanical, heteronormative sexual mores.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 11:21     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What kind of school is this?

Public elementary school.


Also happening in Catholic elementary.


Not at my kids' Catholic school.


Not ours either. That wouldn’t fly at all.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 09:49     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP how does your 8 year old know what sexual noises sound like? I am not a prude and my kids got that talk early, etc... But you said she's 8 so that is odd. What you wrote sounds more like she had no idea what the noises were and you put words in her mouth.

Also, she needs to name names. My guess is this is one kid and. the others are just followers.

And please do not go to the principal. What would they know they are not in the classroom?

Ask the teacher, just drop them an email and ask point blank all the items you listed here. I am sure they will respond appropriately.

It is important you get to the bottom of this. If things are not great with a few boys then yes it needs to be addressed, and on the other side why does your child feel they need to report back to you other kids' behaviors? And why is this all about sex at 8 years old?



I've found that kids with older sibs know more than they should, so not out of the ordinary.


Agree

We had a boy with teen brothers draw a hard on with labels for science class on plant reproduction.

Teacher took him in the hallway ASAP on that. My kid told me after school. We shared a laugh.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 09:47     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:I would call the counselor.


This. She or he can tell the teacher groups to shut it down and keep and ear open. It’s inappropriate and bullying and misogynistic.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2023 22:15     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What kind of school is this?

Public elementary school.


Also happening in Catholic elementary.


Not at my kids' Catholic school.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2023 21:37     Subject: Inappropriate conversations at school - how to handle
It’s the moaning TikTok challenge.