Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During the application process, do schools ask about mental health issues? We are at a smallish school and of the girls in my daughters class, at least half have admitted to having extreme mental health/emotional issues - ie, they are on more than one type of medication for a variety of disorders and lots of therapy. Because this is a small school, it really changes the dynamic of the classroom when this number of students is that unstable and is always “working through something”. It can be uncomfortable and puts people on edge. I think this is even more exacerbated with girls, given the drama that already naturally accompanies teenage-hood.

So do schools/does your school ask about past or current mental health issues during the application process?

Careful not to judge. The two most judgy parents I know who always talked as if their kids were perfect are dealing with the worst things right now - one had a teen boy and other has a teen girl.

They always thought they were exempt and in reality their kids turned out to have the worst hidden issues of all

I don't mind if other students have "hidden" issues. That is their parents headache. I have problems with "Not Hidden" issues of other kids that is disruptive for my children. If these kids with problems are secretly being bulimic or cutting themselves? Well, RIP to them. If they are smashing things in the classroom and screaming on the floor - take them out of the classroom!!

- DP.

Damn. You went there. But I agree with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:During the application process, do schools ask about mental health issues? We are at a smallish school and of the girls in my daughters class, at least half have admitted to having extreme mental health/emotional issues - ie, they are on more than one type of medication for a variety of disorders and lots of therapy. Because this is a small school, it really changes the dynamic of the classroom when this number of students is that unstable and is always “working through something”. It can be uncomfortable and puts people on edge. I think this is even more exacerbated with girls, given the drama that already naturally accompanies teenage-hood.

So do schools/does your school ask about past or current mental health issues during the application process?

Careful not to judge. The two most judgy parents I know who always talked as if their kids were perfect are dealing with the worst things right now - one had a teen boy and other has a teen girl.

They always thought they were exempt and in reality their kids turned out to have the worst hidden issues of all

I don't mind if other students have "hidden" issues. That is their parents headache. I have problems with "Not Hidden" issues of other kids that is disruptive for my children. If these kids with problems are secretly being bulimic or cutting themselves? Well, RIP to them. If they are smashing things in the classroom and screaming on the floor - take them out of the classroom!!

- DP.

We found that at our DS's private school was admitting a lot of students with mental or behavioral issues because these kids were not doing well in public school.

After one particular disruptive student was bought to the classroom, several parents (including us) left the school. Our kids were being traumatized seeing that out of control kid. I could not imagine what his parents endured when he was home. I actually understand why parents who can afford private school would put their SN kids there, but, there was no reason to subject my NT kid to that especially when we are paying $$$$ for a specific learning enviornment and cohort.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that OP is "gross". If you have a small class with several kids that have mental health problems, it definitely affects the dynamics of the class and I completely understand that isn't what OP signed up for when she chose private school for her child. In fact, many families choose private school precisely to avoid these types of issues.

-Parent of a DD with anxiety and depression; I love my DD dearly, but several kids with her profile in one class would be a lot.

This is OP. This is what I mean. We have a small class with only a few girls and literally half are intense therapy for severe anxiety, depression and a couple of other conditions. So, the week is literally filled with frequent breakdowns of crying, complaining that someone doesn't like them and/or is talking about them/excluding them. Three of the girls have been in and out of mental health facilities. My point is that this can really disrupt the flow and dynamic of a small classroom with only a few girls. My kid is quiet and boring and just wants to go to school without the everyday drama. I know it is hard for these kids but it is also hard for my kid who just wants to have one good day without these types of issues everyday.

So find another school. Problem solved. Aren’t you glad you have a choice?

My son attends a private school and has one of the most serious mental health disorders you can think of. You would never know he had it. Not all kids with mental health issues are so severely affected that it would impact your child.

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that OP is "gross". If you have a small class with several kids that have mental health problems, it definitely affects the dynamics of the class and I completely understand that isn't what OP signed up for when she chose private school for her child. In fact, many families choose private school precisely to avoid these types of issues.

-Parent of a DD with anxiety and depression; I love my DD dearly, but several kids with her profile in one class would be a lot.

On the flip side, a lot of parents whose kids are experiencing mental health challenges are quicker to fix the geography than the underlying issues.

I have one child in a DC private and one in an MCPS magnet MS. There's a child in the public magnet who is so disruptive (partially genuine issues, partially TikTok convincing them that they have multiple personality disorder) that it impacts every kid in the program. Welp, that kid keeps talking about how they will attend a specific private next year for HS, the same one that my younger child attends. It's not the same grade, obviously, but I legitimately considered dropping admissions a note. I won't, because I believe every kid deserves the chance to mature, and get support, but G-d help that child's peers next year if nothing changes other than the school placement itself.

Basically, I think OP's post was poorly worded, but I would not underplay the impact that a single kid can have on the classroom environment, let along several kids who are amplifying each other's issues.

Anonymous wrote:Social media fuels this mental health problem for many students (although not all obviously). When are we going to wake up as parents and do something about it?

+1000

My kid was in an intensive outpatient program (which is for kids who need intensive help) and every kid in his program went to a well known private school. Which is not to say that these schools cause the problems--the correlation might just be that the programs are expensive. But yes, there are kids at every school with significant mental health issues. That's adolescence right now.

This is affecting so many teens. Mine included -- anxiety & depression, phone addiction, and more-- a very small (one class per grade small) school. It does affect the class socially and we will be looking for a bigger school for this precise reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that OP is "gross". If you have a small class with several kids that have mental health problems, it definitely affects the dynamics of the class and I completely understand that isn't what OP signed up for when she chose private school for her child. In fact, many families choose private school precisely to avoid these types of issues.

-Parent of a DD with anxiety and depression; I love my DD dearly, but several kids with her profile in one class would be a lot.

This is OP. This is what I mean. We have a small class with only a few girls and literally half are intense therapy for severe anxiety, depression and a couple of other conditions. So, the week is literally filled with frequent breakdowns of crying, complaining that someone doesn't like them and/or is talking about them/excluding them. Three of the girls have been in and out of mental health facilities. My point is that this can really disrupt the flow and dynamic of a small classroom with only a few girls. My kid is quiet and boring and just wants to go to school without the everyday drama. I know it is hard for these kids but it is also hard for my kid who just wants to have one good day without these types of issues everyday.

My child (on multiple meds and in therapy) attends a school specifically for kids with anxiety and she doesn't see this level of drama/disruption in her classes. It sounds like the school isn't supporting their student body well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that OP is "gross". If you have a small class with several kids that have mental health problems, it definitely affects the dynamics of the class and I completely understand that isn't what OP signed up for when she chose private school for her child. In fact, many families choose private school precisely to avoid these types of issues.

-Parent of a DD with anxiety and depression; I love my DD dearly, but several kids with her profile in one class would be a lot.

This is OP. This is what I mean. We have a small class with only a few girls and literally half are intense therapy for severe anxiety, depression and a couple of other conditions. So, the week is literally filled with frequent breakdowns of crying, complaining that someone doesn't like them and/or is talking about them/excluding them. Three of the girls have been in and out of mental health facilities. My point is that this can really disrupt the flow and dynamic of a small classroom with only a few girls. My kid is quiet and boring and just wants to go to school without the everyday drama. I know it is hard for these kids but it is also hard for my kid who just wants to have one good day without these types of issues everyday.

That does sound really hard. I wonder if it is just the school she's at now? I've never heard of such extreme issues in a single school. Is it freakishly competitive? Extraordinarily wealthy kids at a boarding school? I just can't imagine... Girls are dramatic, but that many with actual diagnosis seems odd to me.

School applications ask if your kid needs special accommodations or supports, which could mean for anything but likely is just academically or behaviorally related. I haven't seen anything about mood disorders; I don't think they can come right out and ask that type of question.

Those are the types of kids who need to go to small schools OP.

Pretty gross question OP. My dd has some anxiety and depression which is pretty well managed now but was bad last year before she went back to in person school until we found the right medication/therapist combo. She is a well liked member of her mainstream school and a good student despite her struggles. We are applying to another private for high school and in the application it asked if our child had any difficulties that affected their school life so we were honest about the difficulties over a year ago and said she is well supported and is doing better. It may give the school pause about accepting her. We hope not but felt it was important to be honest.

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that OP is "gross". If you have a small class with several kids that have mental health problems, it definitely affects the dynamics of the class and I completely understand that isn't what OP signed up for when she chose private school for her child. In fact, many families choose private school precisely to avoid these types of issues.

-Parent of a DD with anxiety and depression; I love my DD dearly, but several kids with her profile in one class would be a lot.

This is OP. This is what I mean. We have a small class with only a few girls and literally half are intense therapy for severe anxiety, depression and a couple of other conditions. So, the week is literally filled with frequent breakdowns of crying, complaining that someone doesn't like them and/or is talking about them/excluding them. Three of the girls have been in and out of mental health facilities. My point is that this can really disrupt the flow and dynamic of a small classroom with only a few girls. My kid is quiet and boring and just wants to go to school without the everyday drama. I know it is hard for these kids but it is also hard for my kid who just wants to have one good day without these types of issues everyday.

Anonymous wrote:We’re at a quirky mainstream school with quirky kids.
There are a few intake years so it gets less issues and accommodations. But I recall in lower school my kid had to pep talk her group mates to do their work, one of whom would walk out of multiple times a day.

I don’t think small grade sizes are good for most students, there needs to be a critical mass of kids and friend groups.

Agree.