Anonymous wrote:They have an annual Christmas party, we saw tons of cars outside their house this year and clearly we weren't invited. Then I ran into my neighbor on the sidewalk taking our her recycling and she mentioned how much recycling she had from the party. so I teasingly said I guess we didn't make the list this year! -- we have a joking rapport -- and she said "Oh yes we were just trying to keep it small."

Well it wasn't small and I wonder what we did to get cut from the list? I just feel weird about it and like I did something wrong?

That was rude.

When did you last invite these neighbors to your house?

I wish our neighbors stop inviting us to the block parties, white elephant, lady's night. They all drink like fish. It's usually initiated by one queen bee and it's just an excuse to get soused.

Imagine how exhausted you'd be if everyone invited you to their party and you went!

My neighbor invited us last year to her party which was all old friends and made a big deal about how we fit in so well. This year we didn't make the cut and she said something about her husband being antisocial and not wanting any new friends. Whatever! Don't give it another thought.

Anonymous wrote:If you found out about the party when there were cars in front of her house, you aren't as close to her as you thought. And now that you made a snarky comment about not being invited, you sealed your lack if invite for next year.

This.

Unless it's a block party or our very friendly neighbor's Hanukkah party, for which she invites the whole street... we have never been invited to any party given by any of our neighbors, despite being on friendly terms.

I think you are a little entitled here, OP.

Had you been invited in years past? Do you know for certain others who were invited? Was it the kind of thing were it was a regular group annually and this year you were cut out and the rest of the group was invited?

If not the above situation, you were way out of line to say something. If it was the above, you were still out of line but yes that would sting and something is going on and they don't like you anymore.

You know those threads about how people love the streets where everyone is pals and hangs out? This is why it's not that great. We lived on one of those streets and it was a relief to move.

Anonymous wrote:You were very rude to point out that you weren’t invited.

Neighbor should not have mentioned she had a lot of recycling from party since other neighbor has been invited in the past and not this time.
Should have just not mentioned it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps it was mostly family this year. Or, they did want to keep it small and felt that if you invite one neighbor you have to invite them all.

+1

This is my dilemma for parties. If I invite one or two neighbors, then that means I have to invite the rest of them and those numbers add up quickly.

+1 I struggle with this a ton because I have a great group of neighbors but I can't always afford to host 9 families. It's expensive and tons of work. There maybe 1-3 families that I would like to have join because their kids are closer to mine or their husbands are close friends with my husband but I don't want the other 6 families to feel bad.

Anonymous wrote:You were very rude to point out that you weren’t invited.

+1

You were very rude to point out that you weren’t invited.

I feel like in the COVID era it makes more sense to keep things . . . contained. We were definitely "invite everyone we know" people before, but now it makes sense to have your work friends, and your PTA friends, and your neighbor friends, and your workout group friends, and keep the socializing among those groups. If it's a summer barbecue, OK, but in the winter for a party that will at least be partly indoors? In that case I would not invite all my groups at once.

Unless you saw people that you regularly hang out with together at the party, I wouldn't sweat it. And even in that case, give grace . . . sometimes people just have a brain fart and forget to send an invite. It's not worth souring a relationship over.

I like my neighbors and I socialize with them. I also have other friends who aren't my neighbors. If I have a party, I might not invite different groups of people all at once. Since there were cars there, there probably weren't a ton of neighbors. It could have been a different friend group. It doesn't mean that you aren't friends, or even close friends. Just in a different grouping, which is okay.

On my street people have a lot of work parties.