Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 21:51     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
Anonymous wrote:Not only would you be doing them a great favor, but you'd be doing me a great favor as well. You see, I'd wanted to live on my own since I was 19. But everybody who I asked to help me with that said I would have to get my undergrad degree before I could get a stable enough job. When I finally had my degree at 22, I was glad that it looked like I was apparently about to live on my own, albeit later than I had been hoping. But that still wasn't good enough. Everyone then told me I would have to get a Master's Degree. The only problem is, I didn't have a way to pay for grad school on my own, and everyone I talked to said that their parents didn't help them through grad school. Not wanting to suffer the humiliation of being the only student in college history to have their graduate education paid for by their parents, I kept snatching at job after job, hoping I could just forget about my education and start living on my own anyway. I wasn't offered a job that allowed me to do this until I was 28. As of now, I am probably the oldest person in history to move out of my parents' house into my own house. If you allow your children to stay with you until they're 29, they'll have broken my record, and I will no longer bear the humiliation of being the oldest person to have lived at home. Wouldn't it make you feel good knowing you were helping a complete stranger?
BIL lived at home with his parents until he married my sister at 32.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 20:51     Subject: Re:Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
My sister and BIL moved in with his parents because they are new parents and they needed time to find the perfect house in this area and they also need the childcare. It was a joint decision and they did a dry run for several months before they all agreed that it would work out. Yes, my sister actually gets along with her ILs and they are lovely people. BTW - my BIL and sister are MDs and my sister wants to continue working.

Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 19:56     Subject: Re:Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
Anonymous wrote:In my culture (white American midwestern) kids leave after HS and don’t come back typically. I want my house for hubby and me. They don’t wanna live here either. All are fine. In their low 30s, they paid cash for their new cars and own their own homes. With no help from us.,


I didn't want to live with my parents either, but the job market wasn't giving me much choice. I wasn't even very picky about which job I was going to have, so long as it would allow me to support myself. But none of my prospective employers seemed to agree with me on how important it was that I be on my own before my 25th birthday.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 19:54     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
Anonymous wrote:My parents were going to charge me rent and keep strict tabs on my whereabouts if I lived with them after college so I got out FAST.


Like I said, I wanted to move out "FAST" too. However, the career at my university didn't help me very much when I asked them to help me get any job appropriate for my degree that would help me get started in life. You were lucky that you were able to get a stable job right away.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 17:04     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
Parents as enablers.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 16:59     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
My white ethnic cultures (Italian and Irish) make their own way in the world. The Asian guy who pursued me has lived at home with his parents his whole life. I told him I could not respect that.

Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 16:56     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
Anonymous wrote:A person who still lives at home after 35, is likely never going to leave. This board has helped me accept that my 20- and 22-year-old will be with me for a while. I was hoping to have an empty nest soon, but they are both male/late bloomers with limited drive to move out.

That tracks. I moved out, but then back in until I was 34. Now I'm married, with kids and a mortgage. It wasn't so hard to get dates, actually.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 16:42     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
I live at home and I’m a few years older. I get along with my parents well. We help each other. I have saved a ton. Do you.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 16:35     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
Why does it matter if they live with parents or somewhere else if they aren't done with education and gainfully employed? Mine lived in dorm and student housing until 24 but i paid for schooling, airfare, rent, car and living expenses. They started earning after masters and started paying themselves.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 16:05     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
My parents were going to charge me rent and keep strict tabs on my whereabouts if I lived with them after college so I got out FAST. Now my mother regrets it because my sister and I both ended up moving far away to "have an adventure" and moved in with guys (who we ended up marrying but she would have liked us to marry local boys.)
My cousin in his mid 30s lives with his parents and they make his life VERY comfortable...but he keeps gaining weight and never leaves the house since he works from home. I'm not sure what the best course of action is.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 14:57     Subject: Re:Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
In my culture (white American midwestern) kids leave after HS and don’t come back typically. I want my house for hubby and me. They don’t wanna live here either. All are fine. In their low 30s, they paid cash for their new cars and own their own homes. With no help from us.,
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 14:00     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
A person who still lives at home after 35, is likely never going to leave. This board has helped me accept that my 20- and 22-year-old will be with me for a while. I was hoping to have an empty nest soon, but they are both male/late bloomers with limited drive to move out.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 13:27     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
Anonymous wrote:Not only would you be doing them a great favor, but you'd be doing me a great favor as well. You see, I'd wanted to live on my own since I was 19. But everybody who I asked to help me with that said I would have to get my undergrad degree before I could get a stable enough job. When I finally had my degree at 22, I was glad that it looked like I was apparently about to live on my own, albeit later than I had been hoping. But that still wasn't good enough. Everyone then told me I would have to get a Master's Degree. The only problem is, I didn't have a way to pay for grad school on my own, and everyone I talked to said that their parents didn't help them through grad school. Not wanting to suffer the humiliation of being the only student in college history to have their graduate education paid for by their parents, I kept snatching at job after job, hoping I could just forget about my education and start living on my own anyway. I wasn't offered a job that allowed me to do this until I was 28. As of now, I am probably the oldest person in history to move out of my parents' house into my own house. If you allow your children to stay with you until they're 29, they'll have broken my record, and I will no longer bear the humiliation of being the oldest person to have lived at home. Wouldn't it make you feel good knowing you were helping a complete stranger?


OMG plenty of cultures already do this. Most of my neighbors have multi generations living together. Only DCUM pretends this is not a thing.

Who cares who pays for your education it is no ones business why are you even discussing this?
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 13:27     Subject: Re:Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
I know plenty of functional adults who lived w/ their parents well into their late 20's.

The difference is they weren't deab beats with their parents. They cooked, cleaned and went grocery shopping. The only thing is it might be rent-free, which is a nice way to have a nest egg.
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 13:23     Subject: Parents: please let your adult children live with you as long as they want to.
My 26yo brother still lives at home and has no bills - not even his cell phone. He has no notion of what it means to be independent and self-reliant, and is incredibly entitled. I actually think my parents are doing him a disservice.