Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 15:24     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:Consider that you've actually saved him and his future children from being in a religion that has ruined the lives of many children and many women.

You were just the push / excuse he needed to get out.


Religious bigot.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 15:19     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you clearly had strong feelings about the Catholic church when you married, and your DH agreed enough to follow them. If your views have shifted, then it would seem that you would consider joining the Catholic church, and then you both go to Mass.
I'm not advocating that. I'm just saying it sounds like there were clear reasons for the decisions that were made in the past, and you can decide if you want to make different decisions now.


Actually, I had no idea they were so strict on certain things! DH said he was ok marrying outside of the church, and I went obliviously along with it. I'm definitely not considering joining or attending mass, but I don't want to stand in his way, and I'm afraid I am, just by virtue of not wanting to be involved myself.


Did you really grow up Christian without knowing these things about Catholicism? Where are you from?


I've never stepped inside a Catholic church, so yeah, I had no idea. The extent of my knowledge was that they believe in transubstantiation and give things up for Lent.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 15:14     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We have kids, baptized outside the Catholic church. He says they're the reason he left for good, but there's that nagging doubt that it's me (we had fights about me attending mass when we were first married). I mean, clergy of all denominations have abused children, so it seems like a tenuous reason for cutting ties completely with one specific church. Right?

I'm sure this is true. However, given that Catholic priests are limited to men who choose not to marry, I feel like they are statistically more likely to be abusers.
Having said that, parents can forbid their kids from being in any situation that puts them alone with their religious leader.

That makes absolutely no sense. Married men abuse children all the time.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 15:13     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you clearly had strong feelings about the Catholic church when you married, and your DH agreed enough to follow them. If your views have shifted, then it would seem that you would consider joining the Catholic church, and then you both go to Mass.
I'm not advocating that. I'm just saying it sounds like there were clear reasons for the decisions that were made in the past, and you can decide if you want to make different decisions now.


Actually, I had no idea they were so strict on certain things! DH said he was ok marrying outside of the church, and I went obliviously along with it. I'm definitely not considering joining or attending mass, but I don't want to stand in his way, and I'm afraid I am, just by virtue of not wanting to be involved myself.


Did you really grow up Christian without knowing these things about Catholicism? Where are you from?
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 15:10     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We have kids, baptized outside the Catholic church. He says they're the reason he left for good, but there's that nagging doubt that it's me (we had fights about me attending mass when we were first married). I mean, clergy of all denominations have abused children, so it seems like a tenuous reason for cutting ties completely with one specific church. Right?

I'm sure this is true. However, given that Catholic priests are limited to men who choose not to marry, I feel like they are statistically more likely to be abusers.
Having said that, parents can forbid their kids from being in any situation that puts them alone with their religious leader.


Fair enough. And he's already put that rule in place. Maybe I am worrying about nothing - just can't go over that this is the exactly reason the Catholic Church frowns on mixed marriages.


My Catholic DH married me, a Presbyterian. What drove him from the church was their sexism, homophobia, and pedophilia.

He is a deacon at our Presbyterian Church niw.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 15:08     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Consider that you've actually saved him and his future children from being in a religion that has ruined the lives of many children and many women.

You were just the push / excuse he needed to get out.


We're still Christian.


Well, that’s pretty broad. Christian covers everything from Eastern Orthodox to snake handling Pentecostals. Which brand are you? I could never attend one of those feel good mega churches with a rock band and light show. The Righteous Gemstones is like a documentary of that sort out of church.


We've attended (fairly high) Episcopalian churches since our wedding.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 15:07     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Consider that you've actually saved him and his future children from being in a religion that has ruined the lives of many children and many women.

You were just the push / excuse he needed to get out.


We're still Christian.


Well, that’s pretty broad. Christian covers everything from Eastern Orthodox to snake handling Pentecostals. Which brand are you? I could never attend one of those feel good mega churches with a rock band and light show. The Righteous Gemstones is like a documentary of that sort out of church.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 15:05     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We have kids, baptized outside the Catholic church. He says they're the reason he left for good, but there's that nagging doubt that it's me (we had fights about me attending mass when we were first married). I mean, clergy of all denominations have abused children, so it seems like a tenuous reason for cutting ties completely with one specific church. Right?

I'm sure this is true. However, given that Catholic priests are limited to men who choose not to marry, I feel like they are statistically more likely to be abusers.
Having said that, parents can forbid their kids from being in any situation that puts them alone with their religious leader.


Fair enough. And he's already put that rule in place. Maybe I am worrying about nothing - just can't go over that this is the exactly reason the Catholic Church frowns on mixed marriages.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 15:03     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
We have kids, baptized outside the Catholic church. He says they're the reason he left for good, but there's that nagging doubt that it's me (we had fights about me attending mass when we were first married). I mean, clergy of all denominations have abused children, so it seems like a tenuous reason for cutting ties completely with one specific church. Right?

I'm sure this is true. However, given that Catholic priests are limited to men who choose not to marry, I feel like they are statistically more likely to be abusers.
Having said that, parents can forbid their kids from being in any situation that puts them alone with their religious leader.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 14:56     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Actually, I had no idea they were so strict on certain things! DH said he was ok marrying outside of the church, and I went obliviously along with it. I'm definitely not considering joining or attending mass, but I don't want to stand in his way, and I'm afraid I am, just by virtue of not wanting to be involved myself.

My wife was raised Catholic and she insisted on marrying outside the church because we would have had to pledge to raise our kids Catholic. We are now the parents of two happily non-Catholic kids. I don't know if you have kids or plan to someday, but it might have been a factor for him.


We have kids, baptized outside the Catholic church. He says they're the reason he left for good, but there's that nagging doubt that it's me (we had fights about me attending mass when we were first married). I mean, clergy of all denominations have abused children, so it seems like a tenuous reason for cutting ties completely with one specific church. Right?
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 14:54     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Actually, I had no idea they were so strict on certain things! DH said he was ok marrying outside of the church, and I went obliviously along with it. I'm definitely not considering joining or attending mass, but I don't want to stand in his way, and I'm afraid I am, just by virtue of not wanting to be involved myself.

My wife was raised Catholic and she insisted on marrying outside the church because we would have had to pledge to raise our kids Catholic. We are now the parents of two happily non-Catholic kids. I don't know if you have kids or plan to someday, but it might have been a factor for him.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 14:51     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you ask him not to go to Mass? Did you make clear that you had no issue with him attending if he wanted? Would you be willing to go with him sometimes? I have no idea why you'd feel guilty unless you have put obstacles in the way of his attending.


I am not willing to go, but I have zero issues with him going. I guess I'm afraid that's the obstacle I'm putting in front of him.


Omg OP grow up. Your husband is an adult. If it was important to him he would go.

This has got to be a troll. He's a adult.........

Your are absurd again grow up.


I rarely call troll but this one makes me wonder.


I wish I was trolling. In reality, I just have high anxiety about certain things.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 14:50     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Don't feel guilty about his family's reaction to your husband's decision to not observe some incredibly arbitrary rules set down by a group of men a long time ago in a place far away for their own reasons.

These factors are all remote and abstracted from the relationship between you and your husband which is where your focus (and his) should be.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 14:49     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you ask him not to go to Mass? Did you make clear that you had no issue with him attending if he wanted? Would you be willing to go with him sometimes? I have no idea why you'd feel guilty unless you have put obstacles in the way of his attending.


I am not willing to go, but I have zero issues with him going. I guess I'm afraid that's the obstacle I'm putting in front of him.


Omg OP grow up. Your husband is an adult. If it was important to him he would go.

This has got to be a troll. He's a adult.........

Your are absurd again grow up.


I rarely call troll but this one makes me wonder.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2023 14:49     Subject: feeling guilty that husband left church because of me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Consider that you've actually saved him and his future children from being in a religion that has ruined the lives of many children and many women.

You were just the push / excuse he needed to get out.


We're still Christian.


They meant Catholicism


Sorry, was hard to tell. I know tons who feel the same way about all religion. *shrug*