Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably both have anxiety and are locked in an unhealthy companionship. Very sad to see.

Sure sad

Nothing in the OPs post, once you strip it of OP's bias, speakers of anxiety. I know lots of people who are really obsessed about different things (sports, entertainment, Disney, NASCAR, etc.) I never question their mental fitness. Some people deep dive into certain things. Makes life interesting.

Yes but do those obsessions lead them to being unable to grocery shopping or to the doctor?

Anonymous wrote:They probably both have anxiety and are locked in an unhealthy companionship. Very sad to see.

Sure sad

Nothing in the OPs post, once you strip it of OP's bias, speakers of anxiety. I know lots of people who are really obsessed about different things (sports, entertainment, Disney, NASCAR, etc.) I never question their mental fitness. Some people deep dive into certain things. Makes life interesting.

They probably both have anxiety and are locked in an unhealthy companionship. Very sad to see.

There may be some untreated anxiety on your friend's part, but the dog's anxiety is also very real. Our vet has told us that many pandemic-era dogs are less socialized and more anxious than is typical because of the realities of 2020. Pre-Covid, families got dogs and went on with their lives. Working families had dog walkers, or the dog just learned to "hold it" and sleep all day.

We are experienced dog owners and see a real difference in the dog we got in the spring of 2020 and all the dogs we've had before. Between virtual school in 2020-21 and WFH this dog has had very little reason to be away from us on a daily basis. We used to try and take her out with us, when possible, to help her socialize with people and dogs on the street, at sidewalk eating areas and so on. That helped socialize but didn't help with separation anxiety. We now make more of an effort to leave the house for a few hours even once or twice a week. At the vet's recommendation we do use a small dose of trazadone to take the edge off if we know we're leaving for more than 2 or 3hrs.

This year we are planning our first vacation that doesn't include the dog. We usually do beach vacations along the east coast so have always simply rented dog-friendly houses. In 2023 we will be getting on an airplane and leaving town for 10 days, and yes we are stressing about what is the best situation for her while we're gone. A kennel? Rover? A dog sitter living in our house?

OP's friend has a problem in terms of the poor dog's anxiety, the challenge is how she chooses to deal with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people develop hyper-dependency on other living things, like dogs. It’s not healthy.

Why not?

I mean, to be blunt, dogs die. I've loved every dog I've ever had but let's get real, I'm in my 30s and have had 5 beloved dogs die, all of natural causes. The oldest was 17, the youngest had to be put down at just 3 from a tumor in her stomach.

Making something that has a significantly shorter lifespan than you your whole world isn't healthy for mist of us, even getting a brand new.puppy, we know we're also seeing that animal to the end of its life.

We loved our dog probably obsessively. He passed away a few years ago. We have no regrets. Really our dog outlived my brother. No one is guaranteed time on earth. It was an honor and blessing to having his loving presence with us.

Anonymous wrote:It would seem a lot of people lack mental fortitude; the dog likely has separation anxiety and it stresses your friend out. There are solutions for this - get a cat to keep the dog company; get a toy and leash the dog somewhere where it can't be destructive; keep a radio or something playing when not home. Either way, man up and let the dog deal. Cesar Milan has made a fortune training the "owner" and not the dog...

Get a cat to keep the dog company? Err…what about another dog?

Remember that person who wanted to know why her relative wanted to stay with her dog in a hotel rather than staying with family, but no dog, for free? And she was sure this was some sort of mental disorder, but a lot of us were sure it was just a convenient excuse to get some time away, which most of us could understand?

This doesn't seem like that. This seems like using the dog as an excuse to isolate herself from all the things that make her irrationally anxious, sort of like the PP who thinks vaccines are useless.

If nothing else, not working with an animal on separation anxiety is cruel to the dog. You may never have a dog who just chills happily if you're gone for an entire day, but you need to have a way to be gone for a couple of hours and not return to a destroyed house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people develop hyper-dependency on other living things, like dogs. It’s not healthy.

Why not?

I mean, to be blunt, dogs die. I've loved every dog I've ever had but let's get real, I'm in my 30s and have had 5 beloved dogs die, all of natural causes. The oldest was 17, the youngest had to be put down at just 3 from a tumor in her stomach.

Making something that has a significantly shorter lifespan than you your whole world isn't healthy for mist of us, even getting a brand new.puppy, we know we're also seeing that animal to the end of its life.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t about disorder but definitely entitled and snowflake behavior to bring dog to grocery store, inside dining, museums, weddings, etc.

Except that it seems like the OP’s friend isn’t doing that. Instead, she’s only doing activities where her dog is apparently welcome.

I don’t about disorder but definitely entitled and snowflake behavior to bring dog to grocery store, inside dining, museums, weddings, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect your friend has untreated anxiety and is using the dog to cover it. Not being able to leave your dog to be able to go to the store is really unhealthy.

OP here.

This is the part that worries me. When I say this person can't leave their dog, I mean literally won't leave the dog alone for more than 15 minutes alone. They said they can't go grocery shopping or go places where the dog isn't allowed. They refuse to leave the dog alone for even 1 hour for fear the dog will be anxious.

I've had pets my whole life and know lots of people with pets and have never experienced anything like this.

It does seem like untreated anxiety and it seems to be getting worse.

I have been wanting to say something but am actually worried that bringing it up will make this person more anxious and withdrawn.

What do you hope to accomplish by saying something OP?

OP here. Good question. I guess my friend seemed to have a more fulfilling personal life before. And I've heard them talk about how travel, which was something that brought them joy, is now something they dread. So maybe the ability to figure out a workable solution to regain some mobility?

But maybe I am just getting anxious myself now...

Anonymous wrote:Some people develop hyper-dependency on other living things, like dogs. It’s not healthy.

Why not?

Some people develop hyper-dependency on other living things, like dogs. It’s not healthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect your friend has untreated anxiety and is using the dog to cover it. Not being able to leave your dog to be able to go to the store is really unhealthy.

OP here.

This is the part that worries me. When I say this person can't leave their dog, I mean literally won't leave the dog alone for more than 15 minutes alone. They said they can't go grocery shopping or go places where the dog isn't allowed. They refuse to leave the dog alone for even 1 hour for fear the dog will be anxious.

I've had pets my whole life and know lots of people with pets and have never experienced anything like this.

It does seem like untreated anxiety and it seems to be getting worse.

I have been wanting to say something but am actually worried that bringing it up will make this person more anxious and withdrawn.

It's not anxiety. Some dogs are velcro dogs by nature. If they don't have a reason to leave the dog every day like work, it's just their routine and the only way to fix it would be to regularly leave the dog. Why do you care? I don't want my dog upset. Dog is the sweetest and I hate dogs. So, what I should drug my dog to go out where? I should risk covid and other illnesses that have a serious impact on me to grab something I can order online? I should dine in a restaurant to make you happy? It's not just about the dog, but my health. You may choose to neglect your dog and not care, but some consider their dog a part of the family.

It's not possible to never leave your house. If you're making dinner and discover the chicken unexpectedly went bad, you really can't go out to the store? Doctor's appointments? Dentist? Emergencies? You can't take your dog to a cleaning, of pap smear, or to the emergencies room. You keep saying you're scared of COVID, which, okay, but 15 minutes isn't enough time to even get your flu or COVID shot

OP is saying her friend can't leave the house for more than 15 minutes without the dog. You can't function as a human being like that.

Dinner- make something else or get carry out. I wouldn't run to the store regardless of the dog for one little thing. I don't go to the doctor much and do most things virtually. I cannot risk illness. I haven't been to the dentist not because of the dog but covid. You do realize I'm married and dog stays with the other spouse.

Covid and flu shots don't stop covid, colds and flu.

I function just fine.

Yeah you're in massive denial and clearly have untreated anxiety. Not getting medical screenings and dental work outnof fear of illness? No doctor in the world recommends that. All health professionals highly recommend people keep up with their routine screenings (which cannot be done remotely) and dental care.

I highly recommend you speak to a mental health professional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect your friend has untreated anxiety and is using the dog to cover it. Not being able to leave your dog to be able to go to the store is really unhealthy.

OP here.

This is the part that worries me. When I say this person can't leave their dog, I mean literally won't leave the dog alone for more than 15 minutes alone. They said they can't go grocery shopping or go places where the dog isn't allowed. They refuse to leave the dog alone for even 1 hour for fear the dog will be anxious.

I've had pets my whole life and know lots of people with pets and have never experienced anything like this.

It does seem like untreated anxiety and it seems to be getting worse.

I have been wanting to say something but am actually worried that bringing it up will make this person more anxious and withdrawn.

What do you hope to accomplish by saying something OP?