Anonymous wrote:As one of three closely spaced kids, I can tell you that my experience as one of three was the reason I stopped at two myself. With three, two kids are ALWAYS fighting. Traveling is a pain-when I was a kid, us three kids either had to share one bed, or one of us (usually me) slept on the floor. Hotels are made for four. It’s much harder to get a table at a crowded restaurant for 5 because you need a table for 6. Three kids do not fit comfortably in the backseat of a standard sedan (speaking from personal experience).

Maybe if you had two, and then a third once the older two are out of car seats, it wouldn’t be so bad. But DH is the youngest of three by 9 years and that sucked in a different way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three and wish we'd had a fourth.

I read these responses of the cons, and I just think so many of them are bullshit. To address the objective, practical ones...we've sometimes brought an air mattress to hotel rooms if we thought they couldn't bring a cot. More often, though, we'll have a "suite" with two queens and a pullout couch.

Yeah, we have a minivan. But once they're all out of car seats, we can also squeeze into our standard, five-passenger vehicle when necessary or convenient.

The relationship issues among them have only been beneficial. My oldest has anxiety, and that's been challenging for all of us at times, but having two siblings makes it better for everyone, not worse.

Parenting has been fun, overall.

I’m 14:50 and agree that overall, parenting is fun. It’s also work. Your response implies that money isn’t a concern for your family - which is great - but it’s also not true for most of us. Things like childcare, college savings, car purchases, etc., can and do add up.

Also, if you’re the kind of person who easily dismisses financial concerns as “bullshit” and states that the relationship dynamics of three “have only been beneficial,” you’re likely missing some details. Overall, I think the dynamics of three have been preferable for our kids, but I don’t know that for a fact. Refusing to acknowledge any trade-offs of the decision to have three kids vs. two makes your judgment sus, as my kids would say.

Lol. These responses always make me laugh. It’s like saying “the trade-off of having a mansion in Chevy Chase vs a shack in Silver Spring is that you have less money.” Uh yeah…no s*** sherlock. People choose to invest in what they want.

"People choose to invest in what they want" implies that everyone has the same amount of money to start. This is obviously not true.

Lots of people stop at 2 kids even though, in their ideal world, they'd have more, because they know it would stretch them financially past what the are comfortable with. Just like plenty of people choose to buy a more affordable home in Silver Spring over stretching for the jumbo mortgage on a mansion in Chevy Chase, because for them it would mean stretching to the tippy top of their budget and they are uncomfortable with that.

If you can easily afford three kids, or a mansion in Chevy Chase, you may not understand that it's not about where you "choose to invest" -- it's about being realistic about what you can really afford and not wanting to put your family in a precarious financial position. It's not just about choice, it's also about limitations on your choices.

Also, this is exactly what I was pointing out. “Comfortable with” is relative. Lots of people would prefer 4-6 kids and no money for vacations. Lots of people want business class seats to Switzerland and 1 kid. That’s ok. Quit denigrating people’s choices based on income.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three and wish we'd had a fourth.

I read these responses of the cons, and I just think so many of them are bullshit. To address the objective, practical ones...we've sometimes brought an air mattress to hotel rooms if we thought they couldn't bring a cot. More often, though, we'll have a "suite" with two queens and a pullout couch.

Yeah, we have a minivan. But once they're all out of car seats, we can also squeeze into our standard, five-passenger vehicle when necessary or convenient.

The relationship issues among them have only been beneficial. My oldest has anxiety, and that's been challenging for all of us at times, but having two siblings makes it better for everyone, not worse.

Parenting has been fun, overall.

I’m 14:50 and agree that overall, parenting is fun. It’s also work. Your response implies that money isn’t a concern for your family - which is great - but it’s also not true for most of us. Things like childcare, college savings, car purchases, etc., can and do add up.

Also, if you’re the kind of person who easily dismisses financial concerns as “bullshit” and states that the relationship dynamics of three “have only been beneficial,” you’re likely missing some details. Overall, I think the dynamics of three have been preferable for our kids, but I don’t know that for a fact. Refusing to acknowledge any trade-offs of the decision to have three kids vs. two makes your judgment sus, as my kids would say.

Lol. These responses always make me laugh. It’s like saying “the trade-off of having a mansion in Chevy Chase vs a shack in Silver Spring is that you have less money.” Uh yeah…no s*** sherlock. People choose to invest in what they want.

"People choose to invest in what they want" implies that everyone has the same amount of money to start. This is obviously not true.

Lots of people stop at 2 kids even though, in their ideal world, they'd have more, because they know it would stretch them financially past what the are comfortable with. Just like plenty of people choose to buy a more affordable home in Silver Spring over stretching for the jumbo mortgage on a mansion in Chevy Chase, because for them it would mean stretching to the tippy top of their budget and they are uncomfortable with that.

If you can easily afford three kids, or a mansion in Chevy Chase, you may not understand that it's not about where you "choose to invest" -- it's about being realistic about what you can really afford and not wanting to put your family in a precarious financial position. It's not just about choice, it's also about limitations on your choices.

It sounds like you live in a bubble. Lots of “poor people” have big families. And most wouldn’t say that their kids are hurting because of it. You might! Because you think kids need more than they do. And that’s fine, have your 2 kids. But quit pretending that all kids need private school and organic groceries and piano lessons. The vast vast majority of people around the world didn’t grow up with probably a quarter of what you make, had many siblings, and did just fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three and wish we'd had a fourth.

I read these responses of the cons, and I just think so many of them are bullshit. To address the objective, practical ones...we've sometimes brought an air mattress to hotel rooms if we thought they couldn't bring a cot. More often, though, we'll have a "suite" with two queens and a pullout couch.

Yeah, we have a minivan. But once they're all out of car seats, we can also squeeze into our standard, five-passenger vehicle when necessary or convenient.

The relationship issues among them have only been beneficial. My oldest has anxiety, and that's been challenging for all of us at times, but having two siblings makes it better for everyone, not worse.

Parenting has been fun, overall.

I’m 14:50 and agree that overall, parenting is fun. It’s also work. Your response implies that money isn’t a concern for your family - which is great - but it’s also not true for most of us. Things like childcare, college savings, car purchases, etc., can and do add up.

Also, if you’re the kind of person who easily dismisses financial concerns as “bullshit” and states that the relationship dynamics of three “have only been beneficial,” you’re likely missing some details. Overall, I think the dynamics of three have been preferable for our kids, but I don’t know that for a fact. Refusing to acknowledge any trade-offs of the decision to have three kids vs. two makes your judgment sus, as my kids would say.

Lol. These responses always make me laugh. It’s like saying “the trade-off of having a mansion in Chevy Chase vs a shack in Silver Spring is that you have less money.” Uh yeah…no s*** sherlock. People choose to invest in what they want.

"People choose to invest in what they want" implies that everyone has the same amount of money to start. This is obviously not true.

Lots of people stop at 2 kids even though, in their ideal world, they'd have more, because they know it would stretch them financially past what the are comfortable with. Just like plenty of people choose to buy a more affordable home in Silver Spring over stretching for the jumbo mortgage on a mansion in Chevy Chase, because for them it would mean stretching to the tippy top of their budget and they are uncomfortable with that.

If you can easily afford three kids, or a mansion in Chevy Chase, you may not understand that it's not about where you "choose to invest" -- it's about being realistic about what you can really afford and not wanting to put your family in a precarious financial position. It's not just about choice, it's also about limitations on your choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three and wish we'd had a fourth.

I read these responses of the cons, and I just think so many of them are bullshit. To address the objective, practical ones...we've sometimes brought an air mattress to hotel rooms if we thought they couldn't bring a cot. More often, though, we'll have a "suite" with two queens and a pullout couch.

Yeah, we have a minivan. But once they're all out of car seats, we can also squeeze into our standard, five-passenger vehicle when necessary or convenient.

The relationship issues among them have only been beneficial. My oldest has anxiety, and that's been challenging for all of us at times, but having two siblings makes it better for everyone, not worse.

Parenting has been fun, overall.

I’m 14:50 and agree that overall, parenting is fun. It’s also work. Your response implies that money isn’t a concern for your family - which is great - but it’s also not true for most of us. Things like childcare, college savings, car purchases, etc., can and do add up.

Also, if you’re the kind of person who easily dismisses financial concerns as “bullshit” and states that the relationship dynamics of three “have only been beneficial,” you’re likely missing some details. Overall, I think the dynamics of three have been preferable for our kids, but I don’t know that for a fact. Refusing to acknowledge any trade-offs of the decision to have three kids vs. two makes your judgment sus, as my kids would say.

Lol. These responses always make me laugh. It’s like saying “the trade-off of having a mansion in Chevy Chase vs a shack in Silver Spring is that you have less money.” Uh yeah…no s*** sherlock. People choose to invest in what they want.

"People choose to invest in what they want" implies that everyone has the same amount of money to start. This is obviously not true.

Lots of people stop at 2 kids even though, in their ideal world, they'd have more, because they know it would stretch them financially past what the are comfortable with. Just like plenty of people choose to buy a more affordable home in Silver Spring over stretching for the jumbo mortgage on a mansion in Chevy Chase, because for them it would mean stretching to the tippy top of their budget and they are uncomfortable with that.

If you can easily afford three kids, or a mansion in Chevy Chase, you may not understand that it's not about where you "choose to invest" -- it's about being realistic about what you can really afford and not wanting to put your family in a precarious financial position. It's not just about choice, it's also about limitations on your choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three and wish we'd had a fourth.

I read these responses of the cons, and I just think so many of them are bullshit. To address the objective, practical ones...we've sometimes brought an air mattress to hotel rooms if we thought they couldn't bring a cot. More often, though, we'll have a "suite" with two queens and a pullout couch.

Yeah, we have a minivan. But once they're all out of car seats, we can also squeeze into our standard, five-passenger vehicle when necessary or convenient.

The relationship issues among them have only been beneficial. My oldest has anxiety, and that's been challenging for all of us at times, but having two siblings makes it better for everyone, not worse.

Parenting has been fun, overall.

I’m 14:50 and agree that overall, parenting is fun. It’s also work. Your response implies that money isn’t a concern for your family - which is great - but it’s also not true for most of us. Things like childcare, college savings, car purchases, etc., can and do add up.

Also, if you’re the kind of person who easily dismisses financial concerns as “bullshit” and states that the relationship dynamics of three “have only been beneficial,” you’re likely missing some details. Overall, I think the dynamics of three have been preferable for our kids, but I don’t know that for a fact. Refusing to acknowledge any trade-offs of the decision to have three kids vs. two makes your judgment sus, as my kids would say.

Lol. These responses always make me laugh. It’s like saying “the trade-off of having a mansion in Chevy Chase vs a shack in Silver Spring is that you have less money.” Uh yeah…no s*** sherlock. People choose to invest in what they want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three and wish we'd had a fourth.

I read these responses of the cons, and I just think so many of them are bullshit. To address the objective, practical ones...we've sometimes brought an air mattress to hotel rooms if we thought they couldn't bring a cot. More often, though, we'll have a "suite" with two queens and a pullout couch.

Yeah, we have a minivan. But once they're all out of car seats, we can also squeeze into our standard, five-passenger vehicle when necessary or convenient.

The relationship issues among them have only been beneficial. My oldest has anxiety, and that's been challenging for all of us at times, but having two siblings makes it better for everyone, not worse.

Parenting has been fun, overall.

I’m 14:50 and agree that overall, parenting is fun. It’s also work. Your response implies that money isn’t a concern for your family - which is great - but it’s also not true for most of us. Things like childcare, college savings, car purchases, etc., can and do add up.

Also, if you’re the kind of person who easily dismisses financial concerns as “bullshit” and states that the relationship dynamics of three “have only been beneficial,” you’re likely missing some details. Overall, I think the dynamics of three have been preferable for our kids, but I don’t know that for a fact. Refusing to acknowledge any trade-offs of the decision to have three kids vs. two makes your judgment sus, as my kids would say.

Lol. These responses always make me laugh. It’s like saying “the trade-off of having a mansion in Chevy Chase vs a shack in Silver Spring is that you have less money.” Uh yeah…no s*** sherlock. People choose to invest in what they want.