Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem a bit dramatic OP

More than a bit. She sounds completely histrionic.

World has been labelling anguish of women as histrionics for ages but times have changed, we need to understand the root cause of the reaction.

That can only be ascertained by years of intensive psychotherapy, I am afraid. Who knows what makes people like OP behave the way they do?

Postpartum depression is real but its not histrionics, those women need medical help as well as spouse and family's support, not additional stress of constant family drama.

To correct the OP for people who still have a chance to think it through.

The mistake is never marrying the guy. The mistake is having kids with the guy. Kids is what seals dealing with a person for the rest of your life.

As for OP, we need more info as your example makes you sound unreasonable and not your BIL.

"My mommy divorced my daddy because my uncle didn't want to hold me as a baby. I only see my mom 50% of the time because that insult mattered more to her than TUCKING ME IN EVERY NIGHT."

This sounds a lot like a popular family drama every media outlet is exploiting to get clicks.

My brother is pleasant to me and is nice about my children--and engages with them now that they are over--but he never wanted to hold babies, and I never forced the issue. You are weird, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem a bit dramatic OP

More than a bit. She sounds completely histrionic.

World has been labelling anguish of women as histrionics for ages but times have changed, we need to understand the root cause of the reaction.

+100
Thank you, PP, for calling out the post you're referring to -- it's pure misogyny to dismiss a woman's complaints with "she sounds histrionic" or "she's a drama queen." Another PP above is saying the OP likely is dramatic due to hormones. All such misogynistic crap and so outdated.

We do not know the OTHER examples OP hasn't given, and there surely are more -- she picked one example and of course people here are picking that apart as if it is the only example of any problem at all. She even says clearly that it's one example. She does not owe us strangers a novel with every instance of how her DH has chosen his family of origin over her and the famiily they supposedly have created together.

To the OP: The part of your post that leaped out at me is that you are concerned about what happens if he has partial custody. Believe me, he will end up taking your child (children? Just one?) to his family as often as possible and you have to be prepared for that. In your shoes, I would immedately start looking for an individual therapist for you, alone, to start working on why you chose him, why you ignored or blew past red flags, and how to navigate your current life. I am not saying to stay or to divorce, but first you need to get an objective, outside eye on you, yourself, and what you can do and what you're not responsible for doing, in the current situation. You may end up deciding it's better to divorce and be a good influence on your kid 100 percent of the 50 percetn of the time you're with her, rather than having her around two parents, neither of whom is happy and one of whom denigrates and blames the other while elevating relatives who behave poorly. Or you might, with therapy, see other ways to cope and regain whatever you saw in the marriage that was worthwhile.

Also: please, please be sure you have your own support system that is close. If not your own family, then friends you truly have bonds with and can turn to either to vent (though friends are not your therapists!) or to help you out with things like looking after your child so you can get to therapy or just get time to yourself. You need a support system that is yours, whether you leave or stay.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand or agree with the posters who are critical of the OP.

You don't let anyone divide your immediate family or reject your infant child.

This is probably based on a difference regarding race, religion, or ethnicity. Discrimination is wrong whether in public or private.

There are other problems in world, racism is a huge problem but not the only problem.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand or agree with the posters who are critical of the OP.

You don't let anyone divide your immediate family or reject your infant child.

This is probably based on a difference regarding race, religion, or ethnicity. Discrimination is wrong whether in public or private.

I at least just don’t see “man declines to hold baby at baptism” as “rejects baby.” Most men don’t hold babies not their own. Big deal.

I don't understand or agree with the posters who are critical of the OP.

You don't let anyone divide your immediate family or reject your infant child.

This is probably based on a difference regarding race, religion, or ethnicity. Discrimination is wrong whether in public or private.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem a bit dramatic OP

More than a bit. She sounds completely histrionic.

World has been labelling anguish of women as histrionics for ages but times have changed, we need to understand the root cause of the reaction.

Anonymous wrote:You get a divorce.

Always count on a Coven member to recommend divorce first, last, and always.

OP, what else is going on? This is just one example, not enough for most readers to fully understand your issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem a bit dramatic OP

More than a bit. She sounds completely histrionic.

True. Probably constant family drama is pushing her over the edge. Mothers with small children are often volatile due to hormones and lack of sleep, additional stress can be too much to handle.

His family dynamic isn't going to change. If you can put up with it then stay, if its effecting your sanity, get out. There is no way to untangle family enmeshment.

However, if otherwise you love your husband and want baby to have both parents, offer him move to another state to limit exposure to toxic family.