Anonymous wrote:That it doesn’t really matter whether you go to an ultra-prestigious and highly rejective college or not. The focus should be on developing study skills and habits to carry on thru college

+1

This is the most important. High school is where kids learn to tackle difficult subjects and learn good study habits. I see many kids struggling in freshman year because they are not adequately prepared to handle college rigor.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even earlier than HS, The high cost and don’t expect any financial aids to help with 400k if you are not poor

I don’t know any kids who haven’t been able to get merit aid. There are schools that offer 100% of their student body merit aid. If you choose to pay full tuition at an expensive school that’s your choice.

Read comprehension issues ?!
I know it now that’s why I am posting here I wished I knew this way earlier, no matter how smart and hard working you kids are, you need to shell out 400k for the top schools.

Your original post seems to be saying that you should expect to pay 400K because there is no aid available for kids who are "not poor".

But there are huge amounts of aid going to middle class, UMC, and rich kids. It's easy to get, because there are plenty of schools offering merit aid. If your kid isn't getting it it's because you decided that the name brand on the diploma is worth 200K. Which is fine, if you want to do that, but then don't write that you shouldn't expect any aid.

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Anonymous wrote:Do ED and ED2. effectively

Note that even this is changing.....most kids we know at strong schools were only accepted ED1 to a top 25 if they had a hook. Even super strong top of the class students applying ED to a 20-25 range school. And even the HYPS legacies had a double hook.

I think schools (even some in top 40 range) are pushing back on the grab the full pay ED1s. I don't have a problem with this but it's a shift that's being felt by really strong students who thought they were using ED1 effectively. (Hopefully some of those deferrals come back as acceptances, because the school does still know the student used ED there).

This is not a change in the utility of ED - it is a change in the competitiveness of the top schools. They are now a lottery. Only unicorns get in via ED at the T25. It's a waste to use ED on a Powerball number. Spend it somewhere that it counts.

But this is true if you happen to have a unicorn child - then, yes, go REA or sCEA for Princeton but expect it won't work out. That's what DC did and she got soft rejections from Princeton and 3 Ivies. But she wanted to try. She got in a lot of publics via EA (allowed under REA) and found her dream school that way. However, she did NOT get in her to her RD picks nor did her friends. So the advice I have for OP is to realize that RD works only for some folks so think out REA, sCEA, ED, EA well. Don't count on Rd for anything

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even earlier than HS, The high cost and don’t expect any financial aids to help with 400k if you are not poor

I don’t know any kids who haven’t been able to get merit aid. There are schools that offer 100% of their student body merit aid. If you choose to pay full tuition at an expensive school that’s your choice.

Read comprehension issues ?!
I know it now that’s why I am posting here I wished I knew this way earlier, no matter how smart and hard working you kids are, you need to shell out 400k for the top schools.

As someone who recently went through the process and is now at a pretty good university, here is my advice. There is no way to game the system. There isn't some magical check box of things to do that will give you the highest chance of getting into a great university . It is easy to read forums like DCUM, A2C, and CC and think wow, all these students are doing X competition, are in X club, took X classes, and they got in, so thats what I need to do. Find a few ECs that you are passionate about, work a part-time job, and do excellent in your classes/test scores and you have a shot at getting into to a good university. I went to one of the cutthroat NOVA high schools and pushed myself to the edge trying to follow the "formula". It was not worth it. I know kids who were in leadership in a club or two and worked at Food Lion and got into T20s. The toxic culture of doing 15 clubs, being in 15 competitions, and bringing yourself the the brink is not the way.

My number one piece of advice is, if you are even passingly interested in top schools, get a math tutor now. Even/especially if your kid is a "humanities kid".

Your kid's guidance counselor gets asked if your kid took the most challenging classes. If they didn't take calc bc and ap physics c (for most high schools around here) the counselor can't say yes.

Get the tutor now and keep it up through graduation rather than crying about it later.

And I did know ... money you have budgeted for college matters a lot. If you have the money to send your kid out of state, or private, it's more relaxing for your student, for your whole family. Not stressing re: making into (only) the one or two top universities in your state. The student has choices, many many choices.

Don't remodel that kitchen. Don't buy that second new car. Your family's life will be far more enjoyable putting that money into college choice. That's my humble opinion.

Anonymous wrote:That a 1500 and a 4.5 means you are a match only outside of the Top 25

Or to put it another way, that there are 4,335 colleges and universities, 99.5% of the total, in the US that would be happy to have your kid.

Also, that the T25 represent 0.5% of schools, and that top students and professors and opportunities are distributed much more broadly than the T25.

If your kid managed a 1500 and a 4.5 in high school, they will do well in a variety of places.

Anonymous wrote:Stay away from the parents that are gunning and scheming and talking about admissions from day one. They will stress you out and will stress out your own kids. I promise you that at the end of the day the biggest flex they will have in their lives is telling the world all of the big name schools they applied to and ultimately will be rejected from. It's the dumbest cycle.....enjoy HS, give your kid room to explore and breathe and have friends, and believe that your kid will be happy and successful in life wherever they end up and they will be!

Why do you hate these parents? They're stressed and want the best for their kids (and yours). If you don't want to listen, walk away. Stop with the schadenfreude. The reason they're talking about college admissions isn't to brag and put you down. It's because they need to vent, and perhaps ask for advice, or give it. That's the reason *I* talk about college admissions with other parents. If you want to gloat later on that my kid didn't get into his dream school... what kind of monster does that make you? I would certainly never gloat that your kid didn't get where they wanted!

Anonymous wrote:To work hard in order to earn top grades.

Prepare for standardized tests such as the PSAT, SAT, And ACT.

That there are good reasons that so many try to get into the very top ranked colleges & universities.

Aim high, but also have match & safety schools that you would enjoy attending.

That it is okay to take a gap year in order to increase odds for admission to an elite school.

What are the good reasons PP? Esp if a kid isn’t gunning for Big law or finance.

Make sure you and your child respect all the schools they apply to because if you don’t and they end up there, they not only have to deal with their own disappointment, which will often go away once they get to a school and dive in, but also have to live with the fear they aren’t respected at home, which can take years to shake.

To work hard in order to earn top grades.

Prepare for standardized tests such as the PSAT, SAT, And ACT.

That there are good reasons that so many try to get into the very top ranked colleges & universities.

Aim high, but also have match & safety schools that you would enjoy attending.

That it is okay to take a gap year in order to increase odds for admission to an elite school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do ED and ED2. effectively

Note that even this is changing.....most kids we know at strong schools were only accepted ED1 to a top 25 if they had a hook. Even super strong top of the class students applying ED to a 20-25 range school. And even the HYPS legacies had a double hook.

I think schools (even some in top 40 range) are pushing back on the grab the full pay ED1s. I don't have a problem with this but it's a shift that's being felt by really strong students who thought they were using ED1 effectively. (Hopefully some of those deferrals come back as acceptances, because the school does still know the student used ED there).

I thought deferral from ED usually meant soft rejection.

Like everything - it depends on the school and how they use deferrals (and how many they defer). Some schools defer a lot of kids, some defer only a few.

Oh - and this can change at any school from year to year AND with no advanced notice...... Just look at Tulane this year vs the recent past.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do ED and ED2. effectively

Note that even this is changing.....most kids we know at strong schools were only accepted ED1 to a top 25 if they had a hook. Even super strong top of the class students applying ED to a 20-25 range school. And even the HYPS legacies had a double hook.

I think schools (even some in top 40 range) are pushing back on the grab the full pay ED1s. I don't have a problem with this but it's a shift that's being felt by really strong students who thought they were using ED1 effectively. (Hopefully some of those deferrals come back as acceptances, because the school does still know the student used ED there).

This is not a change in the utility of ED - it is a change in the competitiveness of the top schools. They are now a lottery. Only unicorns get in via ED at the T25. It's a waste to use ED on a Powerball number. Spend it somewhere that it counts.