Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a grandmother? You kind of sound like my mom. She wasn’t a great mom either and only talks about her sports team or her craft now.

Terrible moms are terrible grandmothers 

My mom mostly talks about sports she enjoys and her own friends, but I don't feel like she was a bad mom or grandma. My kids adore her when they see her. I am a lot like her and I don't see myself being overly absorbed in or doting on future grandchildren. I'd rather be playing tennis, skiing, golfing, joining book clubs, and generally living my life.

My MIL cares for two grandchildren under 5 and cannot stop talking about them. You can be talking about a different subject and she will shoehorn a “cute” story of some random accomplishment one of the kids did. It’s so boring. What’s worse is she does not ask about us or our kids (her grandkids too). No interest in them whatsoever when they were babies or now when they are young adults.

Anonymous wrote:Are you a grandmother? You kind of sound like my mom. She wasn’t a great mom either and only talks about her sports team or her craft now.

Terrible moms are terrible grandmothers 

When people don't have a vast range of what in common to talk about, the human experience, the circle of life seems logical.

Worse for me is when it's a dog rather than a grandkid.

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re going to just have to accept at face value that some people do, in fact, find a lot of joy in being a parent or grandparent and it becomes the center of their life experience. Which kinda makes sense when you think about the end of life and what matters when you look back. For most people it is going to be those family relationships.

That doesn’t mean your way is wrong but I do think you just need to accept that it’s valid and common.

I was going to say something similar but also add that some people have fewer activities and interests (or place less importance on them) as they get older, so grandkids loom larger in importance. Treat it like someone who is intensely interested in a hobby you find dull. Spend some time acting interested and if they can’t or won’t move on, just be cordial and superficial with them and find your people elsewhere.

talk about their volunteer work, local events, popular culture,

Which is at least as excruciating as hearing about grandchildren, if not more.

OP, I understand. You are not alone as I feel the same way.

It is a phenomenon that happens to SOME women and men (and yes, I've experienced the same from grandfathers) who quite simply have nothing else in their life worth talking about.

They can spend an incredible amount of time on inane points like what kind of toys and food the kid(s) like, the type of outfits they wore for certain events and all are accompanied by many photos or even videos. They rarely care to listen about your family or what you've been up to without their eyes quickly glazing over and changing the subject back to their grandchildren.

Reminds me of when we were self-absorbed teenagers and someone would get a boyfriend/girlfriend and were obsessed with every move they made and every word out of their mouth.

I have other friends with grandkids who will share an anecdote and a couple of photos but will move on from that and can talk about their volunteer work, local events, popular culture, and other things we share an interest in.

Guess who I like spending time with now and who I avoid? At this age, every day is a gift and I don't want to spend 10 minutes of one on how little Larlo experienced his first poop at grandma's house.

Find friends who don’t have grandkids? For many of us, our kids (and I assume my grandkids, if I have them) are the best thing that ever happened to us and much more interesting to talk about than a craft or tennis. You’d rather talk about crafts. I’d rather talk about kids. We aren’t that interesting to each other. So we each just need to find our own people.

People will always find something to complain about. I wish my mom was able to get to know her grandchildren but she had early onset Alzheimer’s and is now late stage. It’s very fortunate that these grandmothers you speak of recognize, remember, and love their grandchildren. Like a PP alluded to, it’s good to not be tone deaf to others in conversations, going on and on about something that doesn’t interest others.

OP, I think your complaint might be more about tone deafness, which is definitely something I can relate to. With my dad, it’s always been a one-way conversation and it’s exhausting to deal with.

My MIL only talks about her grand babies - the oldest one is 25. She will tell everyone she meets how many grand babies she has and how proud she is to have so many. It’s not an achievement lady that no one in your family can use birth control correctly.

Do not assume that just because someone is a Grandmother, that she will only talk about that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re going to just have to accept at face value that some people do, in fact, find a lot of joy in being a parent or grandparent and it becomes the center of their life experience. Which kinda makes sense when you think about the end of life and what matters when you look back. For most people it is going to be those family relationships.

That doesn’t mean your way is wrong but I do think you just need to accept that it’s valid and common.

But it’s mostly women who do this. Men still seem to have hobbies and interests and opinions about other things.

Mens interests are not inherently superior to women’s.

"Grandbaby" is such a cringy term. Why not just grandchild?

OP you would have gotten more helpful and sympathetic responses of your tone had been different. Sure some ppl don't have grandkids or don't want to talk about them all the time. But it seems like you don't even understand why that would be a big part of someone's life. You sound very judgmental like you think you are better than others.