Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you still incurring new credit card debt, OP? Where did that debt come from?

I ask because if you have a pattern of overextending yourself, paying to freeze eggs on credit could be part of that pattern. If, however, you had a catastrophic one time expense of some kind and you used credit cards to get yourself out of that jam, then this is a different story.

I just feel concerned for you that you’re already significantly in debt and now considering going significantly further into debt. And then you’re going to have a baby, which is incomprehensibly expensive, in my experience (especially if you do it alone). If you start out as a single mom with, say, $60k in debt and a $100-$120k income, that’s going to be an extremely stressful life.

Right...and I can get out of this debt in five years if I stick with my budget. I had a series of catastrophic events that propelled me into this debt. My options now are finding a job to cover the egg freezing or hoping that a partner comes along in the next five years...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you still incurring new credit card debt, OP? Where did that debt come from?

I ask because if you have a pattern of overextending yourself, paying to freeze eggs on credit could be part of that pattern. If, however, you had a catastrophic one time expense of some kind and you used credit cards to get yourself out of that jam, then this is a different story.

I just feel concerned for you that you’re already significantly in debt and now considering going significantly further into debt. And then you’re going to have a baby, which is incomprehensibly expensive, in my experience (especially if you do it alone). If you start out as a single mom with, say, $60k in debt and a $100-$120k income, that’s going to be an extremely stressful life.

Right...and I can get out of this debt in five years if I stick with my budget. I had a series of catastrophic events that propelled me into this debt. My options now are finding a job to cover the egg freezing or hoping that a partner comes along in the next five years...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All very useful comments. I found a few clinics that do egg freezing in the U.S. for $2,500/cycle minus medication costs. Reputable clinics at that. The debt is sizeable, but I don't want to spend the next 30/40/50 years lamenting the loss of motherhood due to debt I could have eventually climbed out of. Especially if my income increases with promotions/pay raises. I think I will try to gather all of the relevant information I will need to make a decision. It is financially very stupid to do this. But if I found a way to cap it at $10k (my income will go up to $120k next year) it might be worth considering. Donor eggs and sperm donor route aren't options for me. It's either freeze, don't freeze and hope to become partnered before 40, or a childfree life.

That pricing doesn’t sound right. It should be closer to $10k. And the medications will be another $2-$4k.

I think using at least some of your eggs to create embryos would give you a much better sense of chance of future success. The problem is at 38 you have no idea of the "quality" of the eggs. At least by using some of them to create embryos you will get a sense. I doubt a single cycle of egg freezing will be enough. Personally going into more debt for incredible uncertainty about any future success rate which could range everything from less than 10% to 40% would be hard to swallow. The statistics for PGS tested embryos is around 50% for one 80% for 2 and 95% for three. Those are odds I could live with.

My experience is that what is acceptable shifts over time. At your age there was NO way I would ever consider having a kid without a partner. 10 years later I'm a single mom by choice. Also if you meet a partner before 40 and you try getting pregnant and encounter infertility, openness to egg and sperm donor can shift over time. Your partner could very well accept using your embryos after a bout with infertility. I also never thought I would use an egg donor... Attitudes change. The resulting child is very precious and wonderful.

In any case there is nothing about having kids that is financially prudent. So yes if I were you I'd probably go for it but with the understanding that just freezing eggs means a lot of uncertainty about potential future success.

While I don't have personal experience with egg freezing - there was a recent article in NYT discussion 7 women's experience.

Anonymous wrote:Are you still incurring new credit card debt, OP? Where did that debt come from?

I ask because if you have a pattern of overextending yourself, paying to freeze eggs on credit could be part of that pattern. If, however, you had a catastrophic one time expense of some kind and you used credit cards to get yourself out of that jam, then this is a different story.

I just feel concerned for you that you’re already significantly in debt and now considering going significantly further into debt. And then you’re going to have a baby, which is incomprehensibly expensive, in my experience (especially if you do it alone). If you start out as a single mom with, say, $60k in debt and a $100-$120k income, that’s going to be an extremely stressful life.

Anonymous wrote:To become a single Mom by choice would you consider a donor embryo?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All very useful comments. I found a few clinics that do egg freezing in the U.S. for $2,500/cycle minus medication costs. Reputable clinics at that. The debt is sizeable, but I don't want to spend the next 30/40/50 years lamenting the loss of motherhood due to debt I could have eventually climbed out of. Especially if my income increases with promotions/pay raises. I think I will try to gather all of the relevant information I will need to make a decision. It is financially very stupid to do this. But if I found a way to cap it at $10k (my income will go up to $120k next year) it might be worth considering. Donor eggs and sperm donor route aren't options for me. It's either freeze, don't freeze and hope to become partnered before 40, or a childfree life.

That pricing doesn’t sound right. It should be closer to $10k. And the medications will be another $2-$4k.

Anonymous wrote:All very useful comments. I found a few clinics that do egg freezing in the U.S. for $2,500/cycle minus medication costs. Reputable clinics at that. The debt is sizeable, but I don't want to spend the next 30/40/50 years lamenting the loss of motherhood due to debt I could have eventually climbed out of. Especially if my income increases with promotions/pay raises. I think I will try to gather all of the relevant information I will need to make a decision. It is financially very stupid to do this. But if I found a way to cap it at $10k (my income will go up to $120k next year) it might be worth considering. Donor eggs and sperm donor route aren't options for me. It's either freeze, don't freeze and hope to become partnered before 40, or a childfree life.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any other debts (student loans, mortgage, medical bills) beside the credit card debt?

Anonymous wrote:Success story:
I froze at 40, married at 43, successful pregnancy from a batch of 13 frozen eggs born at 44. I count myself extraordinarily extraordinarily lucky and all along I knew there were zero guarantees, but I also knew I would never forgive myself if I didn’t give myself a shot. Your RE should be able to tell you how many eggs you’ll need to freeze to give yourself decent odds at taking home a baby. I had 50/50 from freezing 26 eggs. But again, I was 40 we good but not amazing numbers. Took 3 rounds of retrievals mind you so you need to factor that in. At 36 I think you will qualify for a freezing guarantee program of some sort at Shady Grove. Worth investigating at least. Now the credit card is a worry for sure - you need to figure a consolidation plan because the interest will kill you: scour the reputable corners of the internet for personal loan options with lower rates, borrow against your federal retirement account, borrow from family (write down all the terms, treat it like a bank loan), etc.

best of luck!