This is the old Steve Martin bit: My mother called the other day. She wanted to borrow $20 for some food! I told her, "Hey, I work for a living!" So I worked it out with her and I'm having her move my barbells to the attic.

That's how you sound, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that generation, they take and take and take, expect, expect, expect. They did, after all, sacrifice themselves to give birth to you, you know. That’s a life debt.

+1 million! Their parents (greatest generation) sacrificed so much and gave and gave and gave to their children (boomers.) Boomers did not do the same for their own kids (Gen X) and just keep on taking.

I'm a boomer, and I can assure you we do a lot for our kids; and they're very appreciative, just as we felt about our parents' generosity and help.

I’m a Xennial, and I can assure you everything my parents does for me comes at a price, and I hate it.

PP here. I'm really sorry, but that's your family's way. Hopefully, you can break the cycle. I still work part time so I can have the pleasure of doing things for my kids and their families. I honestly do not think most boomers are different in that regard--some may not need to work, but they try to be as generous as possible.

Anonymous wrote:I still want to know how old OP is. My guess is that she is turning 32.

Why does it matter, really? You feel the need to be superior to an early-twenty something? For what? Don’t be ageist.

It seems nice she’s hosted her mother but understandable she’s fatigued by it. I’m tired by now, too. We are all allowed to feel exhausted by holiday hosting. Many of us will also vent that “I’m not doing this again next year!” knowing full well we will, because it’s just the kind of person we are. But that doesn’t make our efforts or exhaustions any less.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that generation, they take and take and take, expect, expect, expect. They did, after all, sacrifice themselves to give birth to you, you know. That’s a life debt.

It’s the Boomer Hater!

And you’re also so full of sh*t.

I don’t know an adult under 40 who goes out to dinner with their parents where the parents don’t insist on paying.

You just met one: OP!

I mean, yea, I guess, but it’s pretty unusual. I wouldn’t paint a whole generation over it. It’s definitely the minority.

I still want to know how old OP is. My guess is that she is turning 32.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult and expecting your parent to pay for your meals? This is a joke, right? How old are you turning tomorrow?

OP has some strong opinions but your opinion that it’s strange to expect someone to pay for your meal on your birthday is astounding. It’s normal.

Whoever does the inviting traditionally pays. Nothing in OP suggests this year or last year was orchestrated by OP’s mom.

Wow. You people are cheap and weird. I have a friend who orchestrates her own birthday dinner, only because it’s easiest for HER to corral her friend group together and keep tabs on how many will be attending. It’s fine. There hasn’t been a single birthday that the rest of us didn’t fight over who would pick up her tab.

Actually I’m not cheap. DH orchestrates my birthday dinners and then he (we) pick up the tab. OP says “we all” (bigger group it seems) are going out for her bday. I have no idea why she would assume her mom would pick up that check and I think she’s quite right to assume she won’t.

You misunderstood me and OP.

We (the group) argue about picking up the singular tab of only the food/drink consumed by the birthday girl. We all individually pay for our own food/drinks consumed.

I think OP wishes her mother would treat her to a birthday dinner (her own singular tab of food/drink consumed by just her) and I agree, I would too, and I find it odd to dine with a friend on their birthday—no matter who invited—and have them pay for their own meal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult and expecting your parent to pay for your meals? This is a joke, right? How old are you turning tomorrow?

OP has some strong opinions but your opinion that it’s strange to expect someone to pay for your meal on your birthday is astounding. It’s normal.

Whoever does the inviting traditionally pays. Nothing in OP suggests this year or last year was orchestrated by OP’s mom.

Wow. You people are cheap and weird. I have a friend who orchestrates her own birthday dinner, only because it’s easiest for HER to corral her friend group together and keep tabs on how many will be attending. It’s fine. There hasn’t been a single birthday that the rest of us didn’t fight over who would pick up her tab.

Actually I’m not cheap. DH orchestrates my birthday dinners and then he (we) pick up the tab. OP says “we all” (bigger group it seems) are going out for her bday. I have no idea why she would assume her mom would pick up that check and I think she’s quite right to assume she won’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that generation, they take and take and take, expect, expect, expect. They did, after all, sacrifice themselves to give birth to you, you know. That’s a life debt.

It’s the Boomer Hater!

And you’re also so full of sh*t.

I don’t know an adult under 40 who goes out to dinner with their parents where the parents don’t insist on paying.

You just met one: OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult and expecting your parent to pay for your meals? This is a joke, right? How old are you turning tomorrow?

OP has some strong opinions but your opinion that it’s strange to expect someone to pay for your meal on your birthday is astounding. It’s normal.

Whoever does the inviting traditionally pays. Nothing in OP suggests this year or last year was orchestrated by OP’s mom.

Wow. You people are cheap and weird. I have a friend who orchestrates her own birthday dinner, only because it’s easiest for HER to corral her friend group together and keep tabs on how many will be attending. It’s fine. There hasn’t been a single birthday that the rest of us didn’t fight over who would pick up her tab.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that generation, they take and take and take, expect, expect, expect. They did, after all, sacrifice themselves to give birth to you, you know. That’s a life debt.

It’s the Boomer Hater!

And you’re also so full of sh*t.

I don’t know an adult under 40 who goes out to dinner with their parents where the parents don’t insist on paying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that generation, they take and take and take, expect, expect, expect. They did, after all, sacrifice themselves to give birth to you, you know. That’s a life debt.

+1 million! Their parents (greatest generation) sacrificed so much and gave and gave and gave to their children (boomers.) Boomers did not do the same for their own kids (Gen X) and just keep on taking.

My greatest gen grandparents took us out to eat every single Sunday and were happy to do it. My father would usually make a flowery speech (''You two mean more to me than my own parents") and they liked that a lot. Their other son-in-law did not say things like that, so they never took that family out.
Now my husband is not the type to make speeches like that either so they don't take us out. My mom will take me out to breakfast but in her words "I'm not paying for him to get a half a** thank you."'
My FIL never ever takes us out because it's a son's job to treat his parents. They take out their late 30s, childless daughter who has more $$ than us on the regular!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that generation, they take and take and take, expect, expect, expect. They did, after all, sacrifice themselves to give birth to you, you know. That’s a life debt.

+1 million! Their parents (greatest generation) sacrificed so much and gave and gave and gave to their children (boomers.) Boomers did not do the same for their own kids (Gen X) and just keep on taking.

I don’t know who some of you interact with because both sets of our parents are extremely generous. Even when we try to treat them, they try to pay. So please stop stereotyping an entire generation because some people act a certain way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that generation, they take and take and take, expect, expect, expect. They did, after all, sacrifice themselves to give birth to you, you know. That’s a life debt.

+1 million! Their parents (greatest generation) sacrificed so much and gave and gave and gave to their children (boomers.) Boomers did not do the same for their own kids (Gen X) and just keep on taking.

I'm a boomer, and I can assure you we do a lot for our kids; and they're very appreciative, just as we felt about our parents' generosity and help.

I’m a Xennial, and I can assure you everything my parents does for me comes at a price, and I hate it.

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult and expecting your parent to pay for your meals? This is a joke, right? How old are you turning tomorrow?

You misunderstood her. OP resents paying for her mother’s meals, and she resents her mother taking her to a birthday dinner only to have to pick up the tab! It IS strange. But I agree with others that when you’re hosting, you shouldn’t expect anything. I’m sure there’s more OP hasn’t posted about. “We can’t pick our family, but we can pick our friends” is apt here…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re an adult and expecting your parent to pay for your meals? This is a joke, right? How old are you turning tomorrow?

OP has some strong opinions but your opinion that it’s strange to expect someone to pay for your meal on your birthday is astounding. It’s normal.

Whoever does the inviting traditionally pays. Nothing in OP suggests this year or last year was orchestrated by OP’s mom.