You've posted before, no?

You're in FL (although it sounds like you moved).

It is hard, and I am not even a SAHM. We live in an apartment with one car, so it got tough when I couldn't fit them into a double stroller to walk to the closest playground (out of range for them). We can easily walk to Rock Creek Park hiking trails or our local farmers market and library, so I pick one as a daily destination when they aren't in school. They are motivated to get outside by packing snacks. They need to be able to run around like fools every day to be semi-calm the rest of the time. They understand that they are allowed to chase each other on sidewalks but MUST stop at driveways or intersections. My 6yo can finally read to the 3yo, which really helps! Schedule the lego projects etc. for the 6yo during 3yo's nap time. Mine both like art so we focused on teaching the 3yo to stick to his own sketchbook/poster board etc. so that they can draw or use tempera paint sticks at the same time without artistic sabotage. We do a lot of divide and conquer on weekends so that the boys each get one on one time with a parent.

Anonymous wrote:You keep making excuses Op.

You're not used to the cold, there's no yard, there's no nearby playground , you wont make separate areas for the 6 yr old to have his lego creation so little brother won't bother him, ...at some point you're just going to have rip off the bandaid to make things work.

And where is dh in all of this,

Op here. This simply isn't true. I don't have a yard which is a fact and someone asked. There is a nearby playground and I mentioned that we could drive to this playground on the days I have access to the car. I didn't say anything about not wanting to separate my kids so the eldest can play with legos. My oldest son wants to be with me when he comes home from school, so separating him right away won't work. Maybe try being nice or move on to another post. Sheesh.

Chores are another great idea to keep kids busy inside. It doesn’t really matter how much actual sweeping the 3 year old does but it will help direct his energy in a helpful way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys and a girl who isn’t as wild as the boys, but can definitely make a mess. I agree you need to start setting clear boundaries and give immediate consequences. In 2020 my youngest was a baby and I got way too relaxed about house rules and cleaning up. It was not fun getting back into those expectations, but our lives are so much better because of it.

If you have room inside, create an area where they can jump around safely. If not, take them outside daily. My 7yo has lots of energy to burn and loves sports. He will shoot hoops in the driveway or run around playing football with himself for an hour every day.

Look into heavy work OT exercises you can do at home to wear them both out. My OT friend with two boys a year apart had a little gym set up in her garage and would take them out there every day before dinner. You don’t need special equipment for this, there are tons of at home ideas on Pinterest.

Also, if the house is getting trashed by the 3yo, he has access to too many toys. Try rotating toys and putting some in storage bins, out of sight. Swap them out every couple of weeks. Set expectations that everyone cleans up after each activity, or does a quick tidying every hour, whatever works best for you.

Op here. He rams toys into the wall and furniture. Its unbelievable what this kid can destroy and he barely has access to toys. He's part kid, part bull. 😆

Think like a day care. Have a solid routine for the 3 year old. With free play, outside play, activities etc. If he was in a preschool, they wouldn't let him ram toys into walls.

Agree with PP who said to be on the lookout for ADHD. My kids who were really wild at that age both have hyperactive-type ADHD. We couldn’t even go to parks that weren’t fenced because my 3yo would just take off running the minute her feet hit the ground. She’d race past all the playground equipment and straight into the woods on the other side.

I have 4 boys who are now 10, 7, 4 and 1. Some of the behavior is inevitable- they are going to roughhouse a bit, make small messes, push each other around, etc. But they all also get along pretty well and are pretty calm. We generally don’t do any screens unless it’s like a special one off thing (8 hour drive, for example). So it isn’t an option for them - they don’t ask for it.

If there is some negative behavior going on, that boy gets to come hang out very close to me for a little while and help me with chores so I can keep an eye on them. They don’t seem to mind this and it gives me a chance to reinforce positive behavior (oh, thank you for helping wipe out the sink! It looks awesome now!) I tend to ask the older 2 to do heavy lifting type chores like digging up roots in the yard, hauling boxes, etc. pretty much every day.

So today for example my 10 year old has hauled laundry up and down the stairs several times for me to deal with, the 7 year old helped cook and clean up breakfast and now they are both reading. 4 year old is quietly entertaining himself with some little cars.

Bottom line is I think you need to set expectations, take away screens, and involve them in what you are doing. Find a related task to what you are doing and show them how to do it. Sometimes it will be fun and sometimes they will choose something else quiet instead.

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being brave asking for help. I also think you might want to have your younger boy in a preschool. If he is really as wild as you say, I wonder if he needs an evaluation. Is there ADHD in the family? You might also look for a parenting coach or support group or parenting class to help you with strategies. Your older boy’s school guidance counselor can help with this.

You need a schedule and routine, if you don’t have one. Heavy work can help regulate them, like carrying books or pulling a toy wagon loaded with books. Give them chewy snacks. Google regulation strategies for overactive kids.

Think of basic rules you want them to follow, and work on them one at a time.

See if you can get an older elementary or middle school kid to come play with them. Praise behavior that you see that you want. Use physical redirecting with the younger one. Pick him up and move him. Look up “body sock” on Amazon. Look up Go Noodle. It sounds like they need a lot of active movement.

The guidance counselor may know a family with same-age kids you could meet and play with.

I hope you get some time for yourself. It can be very hard. Remind yourself that they will sleep at some point!

+1

Ignore the rude posters castigating you for not wanting to go out. I hate going out when it’s super cold. Never in the history of humanity have parents been expected to stand outside doing nothing in the freaking cold so their kids behave better. Intensive parenting expectations suck.

My 5 and 2 year old do well with play-doh and open crafting/drawing. I would try and integrate those into a regular rotation. Walks are great, but not when it’s freaking 20 degrees!

I think you’re being brave asking for help. I also think you might want to have your younger boy in a preschool. If he is really as wild as you say, I wonder if he needs an evaluation. Is there ADHD in the family? You might also look for a parenting coach or support group or parenting class to help you with strategies. Your older boy’s school guidance counselor can help with this.

You need a schedule and routine, if you don’t have one. Heavy work can help regulate them, like carrying books or pulling a toy wagon loaded with books. Give them chewy snacks. Google regulation strategies for overactive kids.

Think of basic rules you want them to follow, and work on them one at a time.

See if you can get an older elementary or middle school kid to come play with them. Praise behavior that you see that you want. Use physical redirecting with the younger one. Pick him up and move him. Look up “body sock” on Amazon. Look up Go Noodle. It sounds like they need a lot of active movement.

The guidance counselor may know a family with same-age kids you could meet and play with.

I hope you get some time for yourself. It can be very hard. Remind yourself that they will sleep at some point!

You keep making excuses Op.

You're not used to the cold, there's no yard, there's no nearby playground , you wont make separate areas for the 6 yr old to have his lego creation so little brother won't bother him, ...at some point you're just going to have rip off the bandaid to make things work.

And where is dh in all of this,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids need to get moving. Take them for a walk or to the local rec center or the Chick Fil A play area or indoor swimming -- something, anything outside the house. My kids were four years apart at that age, and that's what I did. They are flying off the handle because they have energy to burn that you are not helping them expend. That is why they are running in circles. Get out of the house, take them somewhere for a few hours to burn it off. When my kids were spinning up, I would take them somewhere.

I would also get creative and have them play search and seek inside the house. I'm hiding this stuffed animal/figurine, etc. first one who finds it gets a cookie. Or we would make cookies.

Just do something with them.

Op here. I DO take them places. They are STILL like this. I can't take them somewhere every day after school. There has to be a balance between being at home and constantly on the go. On school days, I always take out the 3-year-old in the morning.

Yes, you do need to take them outside everyday.

Why not go for a walk and have them ride their scooter or trike? Surely your townhouse has a common area - tag, throw a beach ball around, simple obstacle course, etc.

Are there no other kids in your townhouse area??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids need to get moving. Take them for a walk or to the local rec center or the Chick Fil A play area or indoor swimming -- something, anything outside the house. My kids were four years apart at that age, and that's what I did. They are flying off the handle because they have energy to burn that you are not helping them expend. That is why they are running in circles. Get out of the house, take them somewhere for a few hours to burn it off. When my kids were spinning up, I would take them somewhere.

I would also get creative and have them play search and seek inside the house. I'm hiding this stuffed animal/figurine, etc. first one who finds it gets a cookie. Or we would make cookies.

Just do something with them.

Op here. I DO take them places. They are STILL like this. I can't take them somewhere every day after school. There has to be a balance between being at home and constantly on the go. On school days, I always take out the 3-year-old in the morning.

Do you have a back yard they can run around?

No yard; we live in a townhouse. There's a playground driving distance down the road but we are a one-car family. Dh goes in person to work twice a week. I like the garage idea. Our basement isn't finished, so I don't allow them downstairs. There is too much they can get in downstairs like the sump pump or gas controls. We have child proofed as much as possible, but I worry. We moved from a tropical climate so my kids haven't adjusted to being out in the cold yet. On a day like today, they are definitely not going outside.

Are they spending hours outside a day getting exercise? I would prioritize that. Send them into the backyard or spend hours a day in the woods. If you need to hire a sitter to facilitate this, don’t hesitate.

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys and a girl who isn’t as wild as the boys, but can definitely make a mess. I agree you need to start setting clear boundaries and give immediate consequences. In 2020 my youngest was a baby and I got way too relaxed about house rules and cleaning up. It was not fun getting back into those expectations, but our lives are so much better because of it.

If you have room inside, create an area where they can jump around safely. If not, take them outside daily. My 7yo has lots of energy to burn and loves sports. He will shoot hoops in the driveway or run around playing football with himself for an hour every day.

Look into heavy work OT exercises you can do at home to wear them both out. My OT friend with two boys a year apart had a little gym set up in her garage and would take them out there every day before dinner. You don’t need special equipment for this, there are tons of at home ideas on Pinterest.

Also, if the house is getting trashed by the 3yo, he has access to too many toys. Try rotating toys and putting some in storage bins, out of sight. Swap them out every couple of weeks. Set expectations that everyone cleans up after each activity, or does a quick tidying every hour, whatever works best for you.

Op here. He rams toys into the wall and furniture. Its unbelievable what this kid can destroy and he barely has access to toys. He's part kid, part bull. 😆

I have two boys and a girl who isn’t as wild as the boys, but can definitely make a mess. I agree you need to start setting clear boundaries and give immediate consequences. In 2020 my youngest was a baby and I got way too relaxed about house rules and cleaning up. It was not fun getting back into those expectations, but our lives are so much better because of it.

If you have room inside, create an area where they can jump around safely. If not, take them outside daily. My 7yo has lots of energy to burn and loves sports. He will shoot hoops in the driveway or run around playing football with himself for an hour every day.

Look into heavy work OT exercises you can do at home to wear them both out. My OT friend with two boys a year apart had a little gym set up in her garage and would take them out there every day before dinner. You don’t need special equipment for this, there are tons of at home ideas on Pinterest.

Also, if the house is getting trashed by the 3yo, he has access to too many toys. Try rotating toys and putting some in storage bins, out of sight. Swap them out every couple of weeks. Set expectations that everyone cleans up after each activity, or does a quick tidying every hour, whatever works best for you.