Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most little kids like boys and girls in the class and get a thrill when someone pays attention to them and likes them back. It is rarely sexual at such a young age when the sex hormones have yet to surge. So I simply would not view childhood friendships and relationships as a matter of sexual orientation until the individual's sexuality blossoms. Treat it as sexually neutral until it isn't.

Sexuality is a weird way to refer to an interest in gender because it's really only partially about sex. I had serious crushes at the same time I thought sex was gross, and never on a boy. I strongly liked girls, but more in a "I really like being around you" or "I wish I was like you" sort of way. Not butterflies at all; it was very different from a crush.

So I disagree that you have to have any kind of sexuality before you can know your sexual orientation.

I meant *always* on a boy. I've never had a crush on a girl even if they paid attention to me in a way I liked.

A lot depends on when those hormones kick in, which, yes, can be very young for girls. But, also you probably grew up in an era and place that strongly signaled to you from a very young age that your feelings for boys versus girls was of a different character (you are right, it didn't have to be about sex, but it was romanticized). So you thought of your feelings for boys as crushes. And adults probably romanticized those feelings early and referred to it as a crush, or boyfriend or joked about marriage, and you learned that language was associated with that feeling, and that is was very special in a unique way, but only for boys, because they probably never called your feelings for girls a crush, or joked about you marrying your best girlfriend, nor did you see examples of it in media. Those relationships had a different language.

It's different now (at least in some places), and kids have a broader sense of possibilities, so for many kids today, it's not just about the feelings, it is also about the language kids are taught to associate with those feelings, which lets them hold off on characterizing and romanticizing relationships until later. Of course, on the flip side some people go the other way and romanticize all of the kids's relationships, but that's not necessary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last night my DD 10 told me she had a secret. About crushes. Eventually she told me that she "likes, likes" a girl in her class.

I am trying not to read too much into it. I told her you can like anyone for who they are in the inside. That's what important. She asked me if I ever "liked" a girl, and I said I've thought some were really pretty and nice. ( I wasn't sure what to say).

Any advice here? I know some people say they knew they were gay from a very young age. And if she is, so be it. However I think she's young for crushes.

Any advice would be appreciated.

thanks.

I would just try your best to appear to be supportive, and to lover her. Let her know you still love her even if she turns out that way, and that you are still her mom. Its important for her know she still has a home. How does your husband feel about this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last night my DD 10 told me she had a secret. About crushes. Eventually she told me that she "likes, likes" a girl in her class.

I am trying not to read too much into it. I told her you can like anyone for who they are in the inside. That's what important. She asked me if I ever "liked" a girl, and I said I've thought some were really pretty and nice. ( I wasn't sure what to say).

Any advice here? I know some people say they knew they were gay from a very young age. And if she is, so be it. However I think she's young for crushes.

Any advice would be appreciated.

thanks.

I would just try your best to appear to be supportive, and to lover her. Let her know you still love her even if she turns out that way, and that you are still her mom. Its important for her know she still has a home. How does your husband feel about this?

Anonymous wrote:Last night my DD 10 told me she had a secret. About crushes. Eventually she told me that she "likes, likes" a girl in her class.

I am trying not to read too much into it. I told her you can like anyone for who they are in the inside. That's what important. She asked me if I ever "liked" a girl, and I said I've thought some were really pretty and nice. ( I wasn't sure what to say).

Any advice here? I know some people say they knew they were gay from a very young age. And if she is, so be it. However I think she's young for crushes.

Any advice would be appreciated.

thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most little kids like boys and girls in the class and get a thrill when someone pays attention to them and likes them back. It is rarely sexual at such a young age when the sex hormones have yet to surge. So I simply would not view childhood friendships and relationships as a matter of sexual orientation until the individual's sexuality blossoms. Treat it as sexually neutral until it isn't.

Sexuality is a weird way to refer to an interest in gender because it's really only partially about sex. I had serious crushes at the same time I thought sex was gross, and never on a boy. I strongly liked girls, but more in a "I really like being around you" or "I wish I was like you" sort of way. Not butterflies at all; it was very different from a crush.

So I disagree that you have to have any kind of sexuality before you can know your sexual orientation.

I meant *always* on a boy. I've never had a crush on a girl even if they paid attention to me in a way I liked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most little kids like boys and girls in the class and get a thrill when someone pays attention to them and likes them back. It is rarely sexual at such a young age when the sex hormones have yet to surge. So I simply would not view childhood friendships and relationships as a matter of sexual orientation until the individual's sexuality blossoms. Treat it as sexually neutral until it isn't.

Sexuality is a weird way to refer to an interest in gender because it's really only partially about sex. I had serious crushes at the same time I thought sex was gross, and never on a boy. I strongly liked girls, but more in a "I really like being around you" or "I wish I was like you" sort of way. Not butterflies at all; it was very different from a crush.

So I disagree that you have to have any kind of sexuality before you can know your sexual orientation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most little kids like boys and girls in the class and get a thrill when someone pays attention to them and likes them back. It is rarely sexual at such a young age when the sex hormones have yet to surge. So I simply would not view childhood friendships and relationships as a matter of sexual orientation until the individual's sexuality blossoms. Treat it as sexually neutral until it isn't.

Sexuality is a weird way to refer to an interest in gender because it's really only partially about sex. I had serious crushes at the same time I thought sex was gross, and never on a boy. I strongly liked girls, but more in a "I really like being around you" or "I wish I was like you" sort of way. Not butterflies at all; it was very different from a crush.

So I disagree that you have to have any kind of sexuality before you can know your sexual orientation.

Anonymous wrote:Most little kids like boys and girls in the class and get a thrill when someone pays attention to them and likes them back. It is rarely sexual at such a young age when the sex hormones have yet to surge. So I simply would not view childhood friendships and relationships as a matter of sexual orientation until the individual's sexuality blossoms. Treat it as sexually neutral until it isn't.